Review: Tarot

By William Pattison

I just finished watching the 2024 horror film Tarot.

This film tells the story of a group of friends who find a cursed hand painted Tarot deck while staying at an old house. Suddenly after they leave members of their group start dying in ways that oddly resemble their Tarot readings. Now these people have to stop the evil force they've released before they all become victims of the fates predicted by the Tarot.

I was not impressed by this film. This was a very by the numbers curse plot. The characters were very interesting and they were no standouts, including the main girl. 

This film suffers from using jump scares as its primary scares. Also all the scare scenes are shot way too dark so you hear the jumps scares more than actually see them. Shit, there was a long kill sequence and the screen was completely black.

Tarot was an interesting idea, but didn't even come close to its potential. It failed to connect with the audience and cheated them in the area of scares. It is an example óf how not to make a horror film.

In conclusion I cannot recommend this film.

Review: Spirit Halloween The Movie

Review: Spirit Halloween The Movie

Well, I watched the Spirit Halloween movíe. I can honestly say I was horribly disappointed by it. I was expecting sort of a Five Nights at Freddy"s or Willy's Wonderland and what I got is low grade 70s after school special quality Halloween film. This film was clunky and had a weak plot, characters, and scares...meaning no scares at all. My seven year old self would have laughed my ass off before falling asleep from pure boredom. An episode of Goosebumps or Are You Afraid of the Dark would be an epic blockbuster in comparison to this snorefest. I rate this film as DOG SHIT...Avoid like the plague...

Review: Hellboy: The Crooked Man

Review: Hellboy: The Crooked Man

By William Pattison 

I just finished watching Hellboy: The Crooked Man and I have to say I enjoyed it. It was a solid adaptation on The Crooked Man comic storyline. The guy playing Hellboy did a good job. The FX and production was low budget, but that was actually to its advantage. It made the filmmaker get into the character, plot, and atmosphere over the FX which were mostly practical. I didn't actually notice the bad CGI on Hellboy's tail that so many reviewers complained about, not the tacky spider FX. Sorry people, I'm not a spoiled Gen Z that was raised on modern video games and high budget CGI movies. I was cultured in the 70s and 80s where filmmakers had to use practical FX and have something called talent and imagination. Hellboy: The Crooked Man is made the way I consider a good film should be made.. Oh, and sorry activists no WOKE bullshit, thus I'd dance a jig if I could.

I highly recommend this film if you like your comic book films with good characterization and plot with no politics to muck up the works...

Review Darlin'

Review Darlin' 

By William Pattison

I just finished watching Jack Ketcham's final project, Darlin', which was directed by Pollyanna Mcklish. This film takes the Pigmellian idea and adds a nasty bit of Catholic dogma and corruption and twists it into a symphony of splatter punk worthy of a master of the subgenre.

Pollyanna Mcklish returns as The Woman. Now she is scouring the countryside in search of her little sister, Darlin', who has been captured and put in a Catholic school run by a corrupt priest.

Now The Woman find her sister before the father uses her and kills her.

This is an excellent final chapter in Ketcham's saga.

Review:The Fantastic Fear of Everything

Ok, well I got a little movie review for you. This caught me by surprise because it was actually just the next film Freevee put on. I hadn't even known this prize existed. The film is titled The Fanatic Fear of Everything. The film stars Simon Pegg as a man who literally fears the outside world. He knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that a serial killer is out to get him. Besides Simon Pegg the film also features Clare Higgins or Hellraiser and Hellraiser II:  Hellbound fame.

This film has a brilliant production design, which shows the world through the main characters eyes and psyche. The only annoying thing is the sound design. Dialogue is low volume while incidental music is extremely loud and jarring. I gather this is on purpose but it gets annoying after a while.

But, on top of everything is Simon Pegg's brilliant performance as the eccentrically paranoid crime author whose research into Victorian serial killers has made him a wreck. He looks like a red haired Serious Black with his crazy tuff of red hair and matching beard. Pegg royally shows his brilliance as a physical comedian. This is truly one of his best roles in this unappreciated film.

If you want to see a truly mind blowing dark comedy this film is a treat.