Sunday, October 11, 2026

Review: Witchboard 2: The Devil's Doorway (1993)



Review: Witchboard 2: The Devil’s Doorway (1993)

By William Pattison

This time I’m reviewing the sequel to Keven S Tenney’s iconic horror film. Does this film live up to the name Witchboard?

I had waited years for Kevin Tenney to return to the world of Witchboard and give us the sequel we’ve been waiting for.

Though being pleasantly surprised with Tenney’s not sequel Witch Trap I still wanted to see the sequel.

And,b then rather than the sequel Tenney went on to so the psychological film Pinochios’s Revenge. I enjoyed the film but was disappointed and began to think Tenney had moved on.

Then in 1982 I saw an article in Fangoria that Tenney finally doing Witchboard 2. I was excited. I watched the trailer and was intrigued.

Then I finally rented the video when it came out. I was horribly disappointed. This film bore no resemblance to being a film by the director of Witch Board. The Tenney style just wasn’t  there.

The color palet and choices of angle didn’t  feel like witch Board. There were even special FX that didn’t scream Witchboard.

The acting and performances were ok.

But pretty much this film basically screaned run of the milk Ouija Board film and nothing iconic like the original Witchboard.

They tried to put in ab excentric caught in the 60s landlady, but she was no Zarabeth or O’hay.

While I was watching this mess of a film I asked myself, is this what I waited for? The answer was hell no. And like my fellow movie reviewer Jeremy Jauns I finished this film and forgot it until I got the idea of reviewing these early Kevin Tenney films. But after rewatching this film I reeperienced all the reasons I wanted to forget it.

I will always love Witchboard, but this pieces of DOGSHIT I just want to forget, much like I do the Witchboard remake.

 


Saturday, October 10, 2026

Review: Witchtrap (1989)



Review:Witch Trap(1989)

By William Pattison

This time I got Keven S Tenney’s second film, that is not a sequel to Witch Board, even though the poster initially makes you think it is…

Witchtrap (1989)

The entrepreneur Devon Lauder hires the paranormal investigator Agnes Goldberg to go with her team to the inn he has inherited from his evil uncle Avery Lauter in a county in California since the place is haunted. He also hires the security agency owned by the skeptical Murphy to protect Agnes's group. On the arrival, they stumble upon the strong but creepy gardener Elwin. Soon Agnes decides to have a seance, and immediately after, the video technician Ginger Kowowski is murdered in the shower, but Murphy and his men believe Elwin is the killer. But soon enough, they learn that they are wrong.

Ok, people. Welcome to Lauder House, also known as Slaughter House thank to the fact that the former owner, who looks amazingly like Malfedor is haunting the place qndkills anyone who dars enter.

I love this kind of film. My favorite ghost films are The Haunting and Legend of Hell House.

Yes, I was one of the fools who grabbed this film at the video store only to read the disclaimer, in tiny writing that this is not a sequel to Witch Board. Yes, I was disappointed because I loved Witch Board and was waiting for a sequel.  But then I watched the film and really loved  it.

J P Leobrosen returns, but as the dark warlock, Avery Laughter. Avery look amazingly like another killer spirit named Malfedor, but this time JP has a hell of a lot more screen time for this time.

Up against Avery Laughter are the Paranormal couple  Agnes and Felix Goldberg, played by  Jody Tatum and Ron Zapple. Along with the the Goldbergs is research assistant Ginger Kowalky, who dies while taking a sexy shower while in a hell house with a killer ghost…Do I have to say more ? Also we have physical medium Whitney O”Shay, played by Kathleen Baily (does Tenney have a Kathleen obsession when it comes to mediums?) Amusingly O’Shay was the first time I heard about a physical medium in film. Though I later found out that real physical mediums are nothing like what was presented. A real physical medium can touch an item and give you a complete history on it. Tenney’s physical medium is a channel that a ghost can use to effect people and objects in the living world.  The medium has a a ner epeleptic attack wilhile the ghost is using her in this film. This is completely made up. I thought should mention that.

Also unlike the researchers in the other films this paranormal time had the for thought of hiring a security team. This team is composed of the Frank Murphy, played by Jack W Thompson,L Jackson, played by  Clyde Talley Il. And, finally the hero of the film and scepticTony Vincente, played by James W. Quinn.

This film is very much done in the Tenney style ,like Witch Board, but a bit more gory (a head explodes and don’t forget the bloody death in the shower.

Once again I think the budget was the reason for the style, unfortunately. It is one of the major reasons I can’t stand Temney’s later works, including the Witch Board remake.

The name sake of this film is an actual thing in the story. The Witchtrap is in fact a white box with a blinking light. It literally vacuumed up spirits and kick them inside. Does it work? Spoilers! Let’s  just say it works as well as the machine in Legend of Hell House.

As I said in an earlier review I was very disapointed when Tenney’s style changed  I think if he embraced his original style like John Carpenter did for the majority of his career (he only vneared with his last film The Ward…).

So, all in all I have to say that this film is TENNTACULAR!!!!!


Friday, October 9, 2026

Review Witchboard (1986)



Review: Witchboard (1986)

By William Pattison

This time I’m finally reviewing the Kevin S Tenney classic about possession from the use of a Ouija Board.

I saw this film in the theatre the day it came out and it had become a favorite film I would rent during the wonderful days of video rentals.

This film was my first experience of the work of filmmaker Kevin Tenney and is one of four films that I have had to replace over the years because I wore out the VHS and DVD.

I live this film. With this film and Tenney’s second feature film Witch Trap were done in a unique style that I nicknamed The Tenney style. I don’t  know if it was because it was the fact that this film as well as Witch Trap were done on shoestring budgets that these two Tenney films have that unique feel and style. All I know is when I was younger I had a reverence for Tenney’s work and held him in the league of masters with John Carpenter. Sadly, after Tenney’s film Pinochio’s Revenge for some reason Tenney’s style radically changed and sadly

 it lost its luster for me.

Tawny Kitaen plays Linda, who is the unfortunate victim of the evil spirit that is connected to the Ouija Board. Todd Allen plays Linda’s rough edged boyfriend Jom. Also,o finish the main characters off is Stephen Nicols(aka Patch from Days of Our Lives) asBrandon, Linda’sb friend, professor a, and paranormal researcher.

But then we also got two extraordinary performances that really make this film. First we got . P Luebson as the evil spirit Malfedor. Kuebson’s performance is amazing because themm the actor, besides a photo in a book, only appears for two seconds in the film, yet still makes a huge impression on the audience. Another performance that makes Witch board  unique is the over the top and memorable performance by actress Kathleen Wilhoute as the medium Zarabeth. This performance actually changed the view of psychics and mediums in film and opened the door for door performances as psychics by Cindy Lauper in the film Psych as well as that of actress Arleen Sorken’s (The voice of Harley Quin in Batman the Animated series) character Calliope Jones in The Days of Our Lives.

All in all this film is a classic that never gets old. I rate this film as AWESOMETACULAR!!!


Sunday, October 4, 2026

Review: Black Box (2026)


Review: Black Box (2026)

By William Pattison

This time I’m reviewing a bit of freaky  airplane horror.

 

Vero Airlines Flight 298 from New Orleans to Seattle becomes the center of a chilling airborn mystery.

This film isn’t your average airplane horror film, this one really draws you in and keeps you guessing. You then when it hits you with what’s actually happening you are actually surprised, which really garners a bit of respect from me because it is such a rare thing in modern horror.

What I really love about this film is it takes its time before it hits you with the real terrifying part.

The creature FX when they finally show up are done really well. You see them in quick shots that are done for full startling effect.It is also the same with the other creepy stuff.

Tom Brittany plays Jeremy, who is our main character. Along with Jeremey is sky marxhall Emma, played by Molly White, and young actor Asia Ali as the little girl Taylor. This film has a load of tension and action,but is amazingly blood and gore free, which royally amazed me and also got my respect because it is hard now a days to do a good horror movie without slattering a lot of the red sauce.

Unfortunately, I can’t give you any clues about what happens

, and believe me you don’t want me to…not with this film.

All in all I have no choice but to give this film a well earned rating of AWESOMETACULAR!!!!


 

 

Saturday, October 3, 2026

Review: Soulm8te (2026)




Review Soulmate (2026)

By William Pattison

This time I have reviewed a film by the people who brought us M3gan, but this time it’s a crazy adult woman robot…Joy!…

A man acquires an Artificially Intelligent android to cope with the loss of his recently deceased wife. In an attempt to create a truly sentient partner, he inadvertently turns a harmless lovebot into a deadly soulmate.

Yep, that’s right!!! Brumehouse couldn’t leave the crazy, psycho robot companion genre alone after giving us nightmares with M3gan. Nope, now we got to deal with the robot girlfriend from Hell. Her name is Anna and she has a bit of an attachment issue.

Avid Rydalr plays amusingly, David, the computer programer who thinks it’s smart to take out all blocks on the articial girl’s programming.Lilly Sullivan does a scary, sex, performance as Anna, the the Soulm8te robot. Lsudia Doumit plays Aubry, the unfortunate girl who gets between Anna and David.

What I really loved was this time the filmmakers didn’t  have Anna being quirky, like M3Gan. It made Anna far more scary when she started building a body count.

Honestly, I really enjoyed this film and I would love to see an eventual M3gan and Soulm8te crossover. So, if you love movies like this I can highly recommend it…


 

Friday, October 2, 2026

Review: Resident Evil (2026)



Review: Resident Evil (2026)

By William Pattison

 This time I got the latest rebute of the Resident Evil franchise.

Resident Evil (2026)

 

A hapless courier is tasked with delivering a package to a remote hospital. He soon finds himself caught in the middle of an outbreak and must fight through hordes of mutated creatures to survive.

This film is a lot different than the other films in the franchise.

The T virus is still here but it is not mentioned by name. Also, the victims of the virus, rather than become zombies mutate into things that remind me more of John Carpenter’s The Thing than the earlier Resident Evil films. These things start out looking human but immediately start changing when confronted. Also these fuckers are fast and nasty. Also, the soundtrack for this film definitely has that John Carpenter feel…

Austan Abrams plays the unfortunate courior, Brian who ends up going through hell to deliver his package, that he doesn’t know is the the key to the cure. Brian reminds me a lot of the Marvel Peter Parker, except he is very vocal about his terror. He even comments about how many gates and locks he has to deal with during his travels. He is definitely no Alice or any of the other protagionists in earlier Resident Evil films. This guy is a horrible shot and when he is being chased he screams like a girl. I found myself chuckling at the torture the filmmakers put him through. I especially loved the scene where he decides to take the elevator to get to the top of the building where the scientists are because he would have to walk up twenty-eight floors via the stairs. He ended up having to deal with an acid púking mutant that was desoving the elevator as his reward for his smart idea.

All in all I can happily say that this is the best adaptation of Resident Evil. If you like a good mister film that keeps you on your toes this is your film. I say this film is ULTRAAWESOMTAcular!!!…

 

 

 


Sunday, September 27, 2026

Review: Buddy (2026)




Review: Buddy (2026)

By William pattison

This time I’m reviewing a film about a kid trying not to be taken by a demonic kids show. Odd, have I seen this plot before??? Amusingly I have, but I’ve seen a hell of a lot of horror films. It doesn’t bother if I see resemblances in films…

In 1999, a group of amnesiac children live in the episodic world of It's Buddy!, a children's television show hosted by the tyrannical Buddy, a bright orange, humanoid unicorn with a purple heart on his chest who lives in his wacky clubhouse. When the children begin to defy their captor after one of the kids disappears, Buddy grinds his teeth and sends them on a perilous journey to the mythical Diamond City. Meanwhile, in the real world, traumatized suburban mother Grace is drawn into Buddy's abomination.

His is a wonderfully done dark parody of a bunch of hysterical children’s programming. Think The Teletubbies turned Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

The Buddy show is crafted perfectly with LOTS of orange, reds,and yellows. Also plenty of freaky puppet action. And then there are the song, which gives me the twinges because I was the wonderful uncle who got stuck watching Barney and Friends for fives years, four episodes each session…Aaaaaah! Sorry!

Save me! Orange fat horse…Purple fat dinosaur…Is there something traumatically familiar? Mommy!!!

Even worse, Buddy is a hugger…a demanding hugger.

The kids in this film are your standard kid show kids and they really have no backstories except now suddenly they decide to go against Buddy.

One part I really loved was when the took off from the clubhouse and found the creepy cowboy puppet and the gold miner guy. I honestly the gold miner was going to go cannibal on the kids. Thankfully not. But what happens to these two members of Bubby World is not much better. All I can say is don’t piss off Buddy!!

All in all I found this film a very interesting take on parody horror. I’ll put this one up there with Thankskilling 3!!! AWSIMETACULAR!!!