Review: Black Box (2026)

Review: Black Box (2026)

By William Pattison

This time I’m reviewing a bit of freaky  airplane horror.

 

Vero Airlines Flight 298 from New Orleans to Seattle becomes the center of a chilling airborn mystery.

This film isn’t your average airplane horror film, this one really draws you in and keeps you guessing. You then when it hits you with what’s actually happening you are actually surprised, which really garners a bit of respect from me because it is such a rare thing in modern horror.

What I really love about this film is it takes its time before it hits you with the real terrifying part.

The creature FX when they finally show up are done really well. You see them in quick shots that are done for full startling effect.It is also the same with the other creepy stuff.

Tom Brittany plays Jeremy, who is our main character. Along with Jeremey is sky marxhall Emma, played by Molly White, and young actor Asia Ali as the little girl Taylor. This film has a load of tension and action,but is amazingly blood and gore free, which royally amazed me and also got my respect because it is hard now a days to do a good horror movie without slattering a lot of the red sauce.

Unfortunately, I can’t give you any clues about what happens

, and believe me you don’t want me to…not with this film.

All in all I have no choice but to give this film a well earned rating of AWESOMETACULAR!!!!

 

 

Review: Soulm8te (2026)

Review Soulmate (2026)

By William Pattison

This time I have reviewed a film by the people who brought us M3gan, but this time it’s a crazy adult woman robot…Joy!…

A man acquires an Artificially Intelligent android to cope with the loss of his recently deceased wife. In an attempt to create a truly sentient partner, he inadvertently turns a harmless lovebot into a deadly soulmate.

Yep, that’s right!!! Brumehouse couldn’t leave the crazy, psycho robot companion genre alone after giving us nightmares with M3gan. Nope, now we got to deal with the robot girlfriend from Hell. Her name is Anna and she has a bit of an attachment issue.

Avid Rydalr plays amusingly, David, the computer programer who thinks it’s smart to take out all blocks on the articial girl’s programming.Lilly Sullivan does a scary, sex, performance as Anna, the the Soulm8te robot. Lsudia Doumit plays Aubry, the unfortunate girl who gets between Anna and David.

What I really loved was this time the filmmakers didn’t  have Anna being quirky, like M3Gan. It made Anna far more scary when she started building a body count.

Honestly, I really enjoyed this film and I would love to see an eventual M3gan and Soulm8te crossover. So, if you love movies like this I can highly recommend it…

 

Review: Resident Evil (2026)

Review: Resident Evil (2026)

By William Pattison

 This time I got the latest rebute of the Resident Evil franchise.

Resident Evil (2026)

 

A hapless courier is tasked with delivering a package to a remote hospital. He soon finds himself caught in the middle of an outbreak and must fight through hordes of mutated creatures to survive.

This film is a lot different than the other films in the franchise.

The T virus is still here but it is not mentioned by name. Also, the victims of the virus, rather than become zombies mutate into things that remind me more of John Carpenter’s The Thing than the earlier Resident Evil films. These things start out looking human but immediately start changing when confronted. Also these fuckers are fast and nasty. Also, the soundtrack for this film definitely has that John Carpenter feel…

Austan Abrams plays the unfortunate courior, Brian who ends up going through hell to deliver his package, that he doesn’t know is the the key to the cure. Brian reminds me a lot of the Marvel Peter Parker, except he is very vocal about his terror. He even comments about how many gates and locks he has to deal with during his travels. He is definitely no Alice or any of the other protagionists in earlier Resident Evil films. This guy is a horrible shot and when he is being chased he screams like a girl. I found myself chuckling at the torture the filmmakers put him through. I especially loved the scene where he decides to take the elevator to get to the top of the building where the scientists are because he would have to walk up twenty-eight floors via the stairs. He ended up having to deal with an acid púking mutant that was desoving the elevator as his reward for his smart idea.

All in all I can happily say that this is the best adaptation of Resident Evil. If you like a good mister film that keeps you on your toes this is your film. I say this film is ULTRAAWESOMTAcular!!!…

 

 

 

Review: Buddy (2026)

Review: Buddy (2026)

By William pattison

This time I’m reviewing a film about a kid trying not to be taken by a demonic kids show. Odd, have I seen this plot before??? Amusingly I have, but I’ve seen a hell of a lot of horror films. It doesn’t bother if I see resemblances in films…

In 1999, a group of amnesiac children live in the episodic world of It's Buddy!, a children's television show hosted by the tyrannical Buddy, a bright orange, humanoid unicorn with a purple heart on his chest who lives in his wacky clubhouse. When the children begin to defy their captor after one of the kids disappears, Buddy grinds his teeth and sends them on a perilous journey to the mythical Diamond City. Meanwhile, in the real world, traumatized suburban mother Grace is drawn into Buddy's abomination.

His is a wonderfully done dark parody of a bunch of hysterical children’s programming. Think The Teletubbies turned Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

The Buddy show is crafted perfectly with LOTS of orange, reds,and yellows. Also plenty of freaky puppet action. And then there are the song, which gives me the twinges because I was the wonderful uncle who got stuck watching Barney and Friends for fives years, four episodes each session…Aaaaaah! Sorry!

Save me! Orange fat horse…Purple fat dinosaur…Is there something traumatically familiar? Mommy!!!

Even worse, Buddy is a hugger…a demanding hugger.

The kids in this film are your standard kid show kids and they really have no backstories except now suddenly they decide to go against Buddy.

One part I really loved was when the took off from the clubhouse and found the creepy cowboy puppet and the gold miner guy. I honestly the gold miner was going to go cannibal on the kids. Thankfully not. But what happens to these two members of Bubby World is not much better. All I can say is don’t piss off Buddy!!

All in all I found this film a very interesting take on parody horror. I’ll put this one up there with Thankskilling 3!!! AWSIMETACULAR!!!

 

Review: 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple (2026)

Review: 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple(2026)

By William Pattison.

This time I’m reviewing the sequel to the sequel, 28 years Later.

With visceral fear consuming him and the safety of Lindisfarne nothing but a distant memory, helpless Spike unwillingly joins the ranks of Sir Lord Jimmy Crystal's marauding disciples in the aftermath of 28 Years Later (2025). After all, the kid had no choice; it was either the twisted cult of the Fingers or an inevitable infection by the Rage Virus. Now forced to follow the psychopathic saviour's brutal orders to the letter, Spike must participate in the pack's atrocities, or suffer the consequences of rebellion. However, as the infected hordes of monstrous Alpha leader Samson roam the land, hope may yet emerge from Dr Ian Kelson's desperate and unconventional research. Could radical change start from within the imposing Bone Temple?

This film was a far better sequel than 28 Years Later. This film had a fair more interesting plot.

28 years later was incredibly boring. I recall actually nodding off while watching that film. This film kept my attention and had a lot more interesting characters.also, this film was far bloodier. Amusingly, in this film it was the human on human more than Rage plague victims on humans.

In many ways this film reminds me of the George Romero classic Day of the Dead. The Jimmes remind me a lot of the soldiers in Day of the Dead. As well the Jimmies were the bad guys, like the soldiers. Also, Dr Nelson reminds me of the doctor in Day of the Dead. That Doctor was trying to bring back Bub’s humanity much like Nelson was trying to with Samson.

Ralph Feins is excellent in the role of Doctor Neil Kelson. Also, Chi Lewis does an incredible performance as the Rage Plague victim, Samson, who slowly gets back his humanity thanks to Nelson’s drug experimentation. As well, isJack O’Connell as cult leader Sir Jimmy Crystal.

All in all this film is worlds better than its predesessor. And when it comes down to it this film is AWESOMETACULAR!!!

 

Review: Insidious:Out of the Further (2026)

Review: Insidious: Out of the Further (2026)

By William Pattison

This time I’m reviewing the new Insidious film…

Gemma, a young mother raising her daughter in the house she grew up in, discovers she can travel into The Further, where she possesses an ability to bring what lives there back to the real world.

Now, I have to say that I have had a long history watching the Insidious films. I actually went and saw the original Insidious at the Metrion in San Francisco after going to the final Wonder Con in the Bay Area. That was special and I was very pleased with the film…

I thought Insidious: The Red Door was the worst the franchise could get…Then I watched this film. It seemed like Blumehouse gave this to some random pothead filmmakers and said, “Do whatever you want just as long as it has people in bad theatrical makeup and Lyne Shay in it. Oh, and don’t  forget the Darth Maul demon, can’t forget him. That’s exactly what we got in this film. We got a jumbled mess of jump scares and people dressed as cause players crawling around and making faces at the camera.

Then they just threw Lyne Shay’s character in in the final act and just had her running around talking and doing NOTHING! And, we see the Darth Maul demon from the first Insidious for a whole two seconds. What the fuck? Absolutely none of the main characters stood out to me. I know the main girl somehow got the power to enter the Further at will. Oh, and she keeps getting chased by the ghost of her mom who keeps getting out of the further to attack and jump scare the audience. Oh joy. I felt nothing for anyone in this film, not one person.

Then, of course, these idiots decided to take their cues from Marvel and now we got a dick cult leader who was killed by cops and is planning to open the viel and set loose the ghosts of the Further to invade and possess all of living humanity…I kid you not. I wanted to puke. But in the end all is settled and all is happiness and puppies…UGH!!!

What the fuck, people. Is blume on drugs or what? That asshole green lit this fucked up mess. Give me a break!!! Lots of flashing lights and nutty people crawling around..Yeah, that’s  Insidious. What did these assholes went to see the Insidious haunted house at Universal Studios and said, “we can do one of these films.” Nooooo! Naughty! NAUGHTY!!!

So, this is my judgement of this film… it is DOGSHIT, THE WATERY KIND!!! Fuck you BluneHouse. Get your hands out of your asses and give us an honest Insidious film next time!!! AaaaaaaaaH!

 

 

Review: Event Horizon (1997)

Review: Event Horizon (1997)

By William Pattison

This time I got the best film to ever combine Gothic Horror and science fiction on the big screen.

The year is 2047 and a ship named the Event Horizon has re-appeared after disappearing seven years prior, in experiments for faster-than-light travel. A rescue vessel hastily speeds to the returned vessel after a transmission is picked up from the ship, garbled but vaguely resembling a human voice. As the crew reaches the ship and spends longer on it, it appears that someone or something is toying with them, and more, the question is what has the Event Horizon become?

There have been many science fiction films that cross over into the horror genre, for example The Fly, The Thing and Alien to mention three good examples. Yet for me this film is one of the best examples of a crossover between sci Fi and horror. This film literally takes the idea of a haunted house and a gateway to hell and presents it in a way that is stunningly Gothic and horrifyingly atmospheric and psychological.

The experimental ship, The Event Horizon blends espects of old ghost ship mythology with Catholic imagry and even aspects that remind us of Clive Barker’s Hellraiser films.

The connection to Barker is obvious since it was Clive who first took on this project with the plan of actually making this film Hellraiser in space. Unfortunately problems with production happened and Barker eventually walked away from the project. Later Clive did get his Hellraiser in space but it was part of the Hellraiser anthology film Hellraiser Bloodline. This film was handed off three more times before finally getting hot. Still much ofBarker’s influence still remains and the film is actually better for it. The Barker factor made this film bloody, drutal, and heavily psychological.

As I said, this film is loaded with religious imagery. The very Event Horizon ship is shaped like cross. Also the interiors of the ship have almost a Gothic cathedral feel it it.

In this film the ship itself is a character. It has been corrupted by traveling into a universe of chaos where pain and torture is all there is, literally Hell. Given the corruption the ship can bring out the frears, trauma, and guilt from the rescue party and it does it in spades. One member of the resue crew tried to commit suicide by leaving the ship without a spacesuite.the main character,Doctor Weir goes insane and turns himself into a vision of Hell itself.

If you like films like Hellraiser as well as haunted house films this is a film you must experience this film. It is AWESOMTACULAR!!!