Review: Bury the Bride (2023)

Review: Bury the Bride (2023)

By William Pattison

L.

This time I got a cool vampire movie, which puts batchlorettes against the blood sucking fiends…

Bride-to-be June's bachelorette getaway turns deadly when her bloodthirsty  David, and his friends show up to crash the party and have June’s friends as party snacks.

Initially I didn’t know this was a vampire film, but after I found out I was thrilled.  Never even knew this film existed. In this film they actually kept the fact that the to be groom and his friends were vanpires for a good portion of the film. That way you get to know the characters and then show their true faces. That gives this film a lot of respect because most modern vampire films can’t keep the secret long enough to make an impact.

I really loved June and the batchorettes because the felt like a group of close girlfriend. Also, the vampires came off as nasty rednecks as well as nasty brutal vampire. The only thing that didn’t  ring true is that June would even consider anyone like David to marry.

The atmosphere is great. I loved the fact that the  bachelorette part was at a nasty location with a smell and a dead animal in the hot tube.

Also, the way they handled the vampires were great. It wasn’t reinventing the wheel, like most of these films try to do, but it was bloody, nasty, tense. Good stuff. I could see myself including this film with From Dusk Till Dawn or Sinners.

All in all this film is a bloody good time for modern vampire film fans

Review: The Creeps (1997)

Review; The Creeps (1997)

By William Pattison

This time I got a horror comedy by Charles Band featuring mini classic monsters…

Mad scientist brings Dracula, the Wolfman, the Mummy, and Frankenstein's Monster to life... but there's a problem and they end up three feet tall.

This film is an amusing romp with some of our favorite classic monsters.

This film is typical Full Moon fare. It is done like a live action comic book. It has the right amount of humor and the right amount of intense scenes, but not too intense. There are a couple nude scenes so be ready to cover the little ones eyes if you need to.

 Bill moiahan plays the stammering and stuttering mad scientist who has made a machine that can pull iconic characters from books. Bill does a fantastic job.

I loved the three foot tall monsters. Iconic actor Phil Fontacarlo is the standout as Dracula. Phil doesn’t play the Count with a cheap Bella Lagosi immatation, he makes the character his own. His monologues are wonderful with his deep, powerful voice. This is one of my favorite performances by Phil.

The only monster that was a complete miss for me was The Wolfman. He didn’t  look anything like a wolf, more like a demon, and there was way too much drool.

The FX were the typical Full Moon style. They may not cost millions of dollars but they work for the film.

All and all this is just a fun film for Horror fans who love classic monsters. It’s  not overly scary but there is a couple nude scenes, so keep the little ones at arms length to cover their eyes if necessary. But this for me is a must watch that I highly recommend.

Review: Infinity Pool (2023)

Review; Infinity Pool (2023)

By William Pattison

This time I have a Cronenberg-like freaky movie about a Hotel on an island where criminals get a clone to die for them…

While staying at an isolated island resort, James (Alexander Skarsgård) and Em (Cleopatra Coleman) are enjoying a perfect vacation of pristine beaches, exceptional staff, and soaking up the sun. But guided by the seductive and mysterious Gabi (Mia Goth), they venture outside the resort grounds and find themselves in a culture filled with violence, hedonism, and untold horror.

When I went into this film I expected something totally different. I had no idea I was in store for a film that looks like something David Cronenberg would do. I’m  not kidding you, this film is full of material that would put a smile on David’s face.

Let’s  just talk about the resort hotel that is in the center of the action. The filmmakers make it awesome but there seems to be something off about it. You can feel it as you watch. It’s  subtle but it is there. It is the same with every location, something is just off. Could be the freaky masks guest wear…But after all they are available in the gift shop. Can’t  miss out on that…

The soundtrack enhance the feeling of offness. It is full of screeching note and a thumping base. It is disturbing and appropriate.

Then of course you have the voilance. It is brutal, sick, and disturbing.

And then on top of that is the most Cronenberg mark on the film, the clones. The main aspect of this film it is about a law enforcement agency that clones criminals in order for the original to watch their own death. But there is another group that takes pleasure in making clones and using them experience their own sick murder fantasies.

The stand out in the cast, but because she is annoying, is Mia Goth.

I love Mia in other films, but in this she has a royally screaming voice and she is way over the top. Not a Goth I like at all.

All and all, there are things I like about this film and a bunch of things I don’t  like. I’m  not going to say to check out this film, unless you like really bad Cronenberg, even though David didn’t  do this film…

Review: Dark, Lovely, and Deep (2023)

Review: Lovely,Dark, and Deep (2023)

By William Pattison

Lovely, Dark, and Deep (2023)

This time I got a freaky National Park horror movie…

Lennon, a new back-country ranger, travels alone through the dangerous wilderness, hoping to uncover the origins of a tragedy that has haunted her since she was a child.

When most people think about National parks they think of bears and other animals as well as trees, campfires and fun But for those of us in the know there is a dark side to National parks. People see freaky things, experience freaky things, and  thesome disappear without a trace. Finally there is a feature film on this subject.

This film actually delivers. It is amazingly shot and makes the forest itself a character, a royally psychotic character.

Gergina Campbell play Ranger Lennon, who finds herself in a nightmare world Where people she knows are dark nasty.  She must escape this world deep inside a National park before she is murdered or goes insane herself. Champbell does an outstanding performance. She actually steals the show.

This film is also full of scenes and Fx that will absolutely amaze you.

The one thing that rreally makes this film truly interesting is that the film really doesn’t  explain who or what “ They” are or really what their motive is. I think this really sells the film for me,because not knowing is scarier.

Allin all I can heartily say that this film entertained me and if you like dark, freaky films as much as I do you’ll  find this film FREAKTACULAR!!!

Review; Review: Demon Squad: Tooth and Bone (2026)

Review: Demon Squad: Tooth and Claw (2026)

By William Pattison

This time I got a film that is like a mix of Ghostbusters and Night breed…

When a string of brutal killings are linked to a werewolf, paranormal investigator Nick Moon goes on the hunt. Battling supernatural forces, he uncovers a dark conspiracy that must be stopped before the monster strikes again.

The city of Mobile is over run with creatures of the night and Nick Moon and Moon Inc, Aka Demon Squad is a group of monster hunters who try to keep the peace between monsters and humans.

Rostian Flumer is great as the pork pie fedora wearing mage Nick Moon. Also one of the headliners in this film isErin Lilley as empath Daisey O reilley. As well is Victoria Antonelli as Chari Divine.

The monster costumes in this film are excellent, including a bunch of original style demons, were wolves, and Dogmen.

The plot and script is complex and amazingly ambitious for such a low budget film.

The only weakness in this film is the music. At times the film’s music score feels it was meant for a far higher budget film, while at other times this music comes off cheap and doesn’t work with the visuals. The love theme seems horribly out of place. In fact the music track takes away from the film. It just doesn’t belong connected to this film. The main theme feels more it something for the series The Librarians, than for this film.

But even with its flawes, this is definitely a film I can recommend.

Review: The Demon Detective (2025)

Review: The Demon Detective (2025)

By William Pattison

This week I got a demon fighter film that is as good as Constantine…

Miles Mako is a professional exorcist who takes on a new client after she encounters a demonic presence who may have links to the detective's dark past.

This is an excellent film that will definitely remind you of the adventures of John Constantine. In this story the Hell lazer is Miles Marco. Along with his Asian mage Pin, he fights the demons of Hell who come to Earth to corrupt and destroy human lives.

Í have to say this is the type of story I love to do. This could easily be a film version of my supernatural detective Decline Darck. This film was really jiving with me.

Technically this film is a wonderfully made medium budget demon film. The demon make up is well done and the FX did not look cheap. The story is one that will thrill fans of this subgenre of horror.

Dustyn Gullage is fantastic as Demon fighter Miles Marco. Michelle Torian is also excellent as the demon harassed woman, Mya, that Miles must protect. Another wonderful performance is usgene Young as Miles’ over worked assistant and mage Pin. Also we ge performances by the iconic Adriane Barbeaue As Abby and the incredible Doug Jones as the vengeful demon Uzrgoth,

All in all I highly recommend this film. If you like the classic dark Vertigo comics, especially Hellblazer you will truly love this film..

You can currently find it on Tubi TV.

Review: Tales of Frankenstein (2018)

Review: Tales of Frankenstein

By William Pattison

Well, this week I only got one film,  it’s a retro film that are adaptations of an anthology book on Frankenstein.

Tales of Frankenstein (2018)

 

Donald F. Glut

 

Based upon four of writer-director Donald F. Glut's short stories published in his book TALES OF FRANKENSTEIN: "My Creation, My Beloved" (a deformed descendant of Victor Frankenstein creates the perfect man and woman), "Crawler from the Grave" (another Frankenstein descendant's disembodied, plague-infected arm returns from the grave for revenge), "Madhouse of Death" (a private detective winds up in an old dark house filled with loonies...and a gorilla) and "Dr. Karnstein's Creation" (a mad doctor creates a monster in vampire-haunted Transylvania - with gruesomely unexpected results)…

This film is a wonderful retro style film that has the feeling of the classic Universal films. The acting, sets, and costuming is spot on. The only issue that I have is it was shot in color. So, instead of looking classic gothic it ends up feeling more like a 60s film trying to look gothic. It’s  really sad because the stories are wonderful. My two favorite ones are the detective story and the curse story about a cursed ring and Dr. frankenstein’s arm. It’s  not saying that the love story or the story that included vampires weren’t good. They just weren’t as good, which is on par with most anthology films.

So you can be assured that this film has my seal of approval and thus it is RETROTACULAR!!!