Review: They will Kill You (2026)

Review: They Will Kill You (2026)

By William Pattison

This time I’m reviewing a film about a tough assed Black woman who must fight emortal Satan worshipers to save her younger sister…

Ten years earlier, a bullet through the chest separated tight-knit sisters Asia and Maria Reaves. But the days in jail fly by when all you have is undying revenge to keep you going. Now, a pitiless avenger has set foot in The Virgil, an impregnable New York City den of Satanists, and forgiveness is not her style. All she wants is to have her family back. However, the intruder is way out of her league; inside the nine-story neo-Gothic building, an army of Hell's disciples would rather die again and again than fail their master. And before tonight's black mass, they will kill her. When so much more is at stake than just losing your life, what is the point in fighting a losing battle?

What do you get when you combine Ready or Not with John Wick and a touch of Kill Bill? I would say it would be very close to this freaky film.

You may think you know what you are going to get with this film, but you don’t . This film is a blood and gore fest that runs at high speed. It is the type of film that could be confusing or just look comical. Surprisingly it doesn’t . It also could easily have turned monotonous, but it isn’t .

This film completely and utterly kept my interest.

Azzie Beets does an amazing and exhausting job playing Asia, the crazy black lady who must fight her way through an army of immortal bloodthirsty Satanists. This poor actress worked for her pay doing this role. It was non stop and she was on screen from beginning to end in this film.

Also the FX worked really good, especially the dead pig that was possessed by Satan. Those FX blew me away.

This film was tornado of action from start to finish.

All in all, I got to tell you that this film is AWESOMETACULAR and is a film you don’t want to miss…

 

 

Review: The Bride! (2026)

Review: The Bride! (2026)

By William Pattison

Ok, this time I’ve finally got a chance to see the remake of the 80s horror film The Bride.

Chicago, 1936. Bearing the scars of defiance on his freakishly strong body,The Frankenstein Monster feels tired of dodging bullets and escaping the mob. Now, the man on the run is desperate for connection and a soulmate to share the burden of existence. And the brilliant Dr Euphronius must deliver, like it or not. After all, the blasphemous goal may sound impossible, but it has happened before. However, as Ida steps into the picture, doubts emerge: Undoubtedly, she is beautiful in her own strange way, but is she what Frankie wants? Born dead in a dangerous world, two stowaways of life who cheated death have one shot at making it work. But what if Ida is nobody's bride?

Ok, this remake is worlds different from the original 80s film.

This film is very much written by a feminist and pushing that agenda. The most evident part is the way the ghost of Mary Shelley is presented in this film. This version of the author is a fowl mouthed feminist construction pushing the feminist agenda rather than presenting a more honest representation.

Given the beginning of the film I was actually pleasantly surprised that I actually enjoyed this film. But besides the warped feminist Mary Shelly, the director actually had a scene at a night club that looked more modern than correct to the 1930s time period. These aspects of the film along with getting “The Message” and social polital propaganda was annoying and kind of took me out of the story. I would have rather they keep the story in the correct time period rather than poluting it with modern images or ideas.

Still, I did find myself getting into the story and feeling for Frank and his bride. I thought Essie Buckley  did a wonderful job as The Bride, aka Ida. As well Christian Bale  did an equally good job as Frankenstein’s Monster.

All in all I thought this remake was ok, but I personally thought it didn’t  live up to The Bride of Frankenstein nor the 80s film, The Bride. This film was marred with modern social political bullshit. Still, it is still watchable and I will recommend this film for Horror fans…

 

Review: Imaginary (2026)

Review: Imaginary (2024)

By William Pattison

This time I’m reviewing a film about a demonic teddy bear…

When Jessica moves back into her childhood home with her family, her youngest stepdaughter, Alice, finds a stuffed bear named Chauncey. As Alice's behavior becomes more and more concerning, Jessica intervenes only to realize that Chauncey is much more than the stuffed toy bear she believed him to be.

Ok, people, I had been waiting to see this film after I saw the trailer two years ago.So I was so happy when I found it available on Tubi TV. Of course, then I watched this…

Ok, let’s  start the pain. Both the trailer and the poster make this look like the bear itself was going to be the big a big deal in the film, like Teddy Anabelle. Nope. The fucking bear is barely in it. Things happen but the bamn bear just sits there looking cute and cuddly. The fucking thing has a music box in it that plays a sickly sweet tune. Come on people. I want a demonic scare bear nut fluffy the boring demon bear. The thing doesn’t  even move or make faces. At the end they have a horrible, and not in the good way, monster bear at a distance down a hall, but that is it. SHIT!!!

Then the little girl in this film is a HORRIBLE actress. When she cries in the film you immediately cringe and shout out fake. Also the girl acts like she is trying to remember lines…Oh, God, save me.

Worse yet this film was made during the WOKE epidemic and it royally suffers from it. You got a white, English, dad with two white daughters and a black stepmother. The black step mother gets most of the scenes. Oh, and the demon resurrects the girls dead mother and I swear they purposely hired a woman who looks exactly like the evil stepmother from Snow White. This woman was scary.

And on top of all this most of this film is boring and annoying. It is only during the last twenty minutes that this film actually get interesting, when the little girl gets stole by the demon and stepmother and sister has to go into the teddy bear’s world to save the annoying little girl. This is were we get freaky stuff and Fluffy the CGI monster bear. This part was somewhat entertaining, but reminded me of something from a Freddy Krueger movie…so ALREDDY SEEN THAT!!! So, not placidated…YOU LOSE!!!

To put it simply, this film was a lot of promise and no delivery. So you know my answer to if I recommend this film??? Fuck no!!!

Review: Mortal Combat 2 (2026)

Review: Mortal Combat 2(2026)

By William Pattison

This time I got a review of the sequel to the lacking remake of the original Mortal Combat movie. May the pain begin…

Kitana struggles beneath Shao Kahn's control as Earthrealm's defenders prepare for a deadly tournament that threatens multiple realms. Lord Raiden and Sonya Blade gather fighters including Liu Kang, Cole Young, and Johnny Cage to challenge Outworld's growing power. As alliances shift and ancient forces return, the champions face overwhelming enemies, dangerous magic, and personal conflicts that test their loyalty. The battle for Earthrealm becomes a fight between freedom and domination, with warriors forced to discover what they are willing to sacrifice.

Though I have to say this film is better than the sequel to the original Mortal Combat movie, Mortal Combat Apocalyse. That film was a horrifying mess and was an insult to the original. This film is just boring and the fighting sucks.

The the only person in this film that stands out and is worth watching is Carl Urban as Johnney Cage. Urban is wasted in this film. He gives his all but this film doesn’t  have the juice. He is the best Johnney Cage in any of the films, unfortunately.

The original had some of the best martial arts action on film, but this film barely has a pulse. It tries but fails. I was dozing off watching this shit, and I’m  a huge Mortal Combat fan.

So, with that said, I need to close the lid on the coffin. In my humble opinion as a reviewer of over twenty-five years and a fan of Mortal Combat I say that this film is DOG SHIT. Better than the original sequel to Mortal Combat, but still DOGSHIT!!!!

 

 

Review: Disclosure Day (2026)

Review: Disclosure Day (2026)

By William Pattison

This time I got the latest film by Stephen Spielburg and what I consider a sequel to Close Encounters…

A weather news anchor begins experiencing strange behaviors and discovers she can suddenly speak various dialects--including what appears to be an alien language. At the same time, a mysterious man with an unknown past comes into possession of stolen government evidence proving the existence of extraterrestrial life and is determined to make it public. For reasons neither fully understands, the two are drawn together. If they can navigate government agents, suspicious spouses, and others trying to stop them, they may reveal a truth that could change humanity forever.

Well, it’s  finally happened, Stephen Speilburg has done a sequel to Close Encounters of the Third Kind, even though he won’t admit it.

The reason he doesn’t admit it is because there are no direct references to Close Encounter. In fact this film deals with the victims of life long alien abductions and the stories of the non- government agency of the modern UFO, Oh, how stupid of me. I mean UAP culture. But, Stephen being a sneaky bastard put in one subtle reference that screams, THIS IS A CLOSE RNCOUNTERS SEQUEL!!!! I’ll  reveil it later..

This is a wonderful harken back to the good ole days of the 80s but with a dash of the modern. Shit, Stephen even dragged John Williams out of the old files home in his wheelchair and got him to do the music for this “Not Close Encounters Sequel.”

This film is not shy on the action and even has a scene where the “non-government” agency tries to kill the two main characters.

Emiley Blunt does an outstanding job as Margaret, one of the chosen ones. This poor girl had a lot on her plate because she had the entire film on her sholders and she had to learn to deliver lines in multiple languages, including alien.

In fact everyone in this film did outstanding jobs, including the background people. But of course this is a Stephen Spielburg film, it’s  expected.

Now, to the proof that this is actual undeniable PROOF that this is the sequel to Close Encounters. In a flashback, when Margaret goes to the reconstruction of her family home, she relives her first abduction. During it she sings a song to calm herself. Guess what song?  The Jimmeny Cricket song from Pinochio. The same song Richard Dreifus had the music box of in CLOSE ENCOÚNTERS. The fucking music they played at the end of the movie!!!

So, is this a good sequel to Close Encounters? Fuck yeah. I loved it. It gave me the tingles and brought me back to a world free of WOKE and The Message. It reminded me of a time when Spielburg and Lucas were the Titans of Hollywood and summer movies were truly magical. It is a time I sorely miss and mourn.

So, what is my rating? What the fuck you think???

EIGHtIES AWESOMETACULAR!!!!

 

 

Review: The Mandalorian and Grogu (2026)

Review: Star Wars: The Mandalorian and Grogu (2026)

By William Pattison

Ok, people I finally saw The Mando movie and I’m reviewing it. I know you are creaming your shorts in anticipation of it.

Star Wars: The Mandalorian and Grogu (2026)

 

Once a lone bounty hunter, Mandalorian Din Djarin and his apprentice Grogu embark on an exciting new Star Wars adventure.

Ok, yes, I’m royally late to the game. The film failed in the box office and the future of The Mandalorian franchise is in question.

Well, to hell with you. I’m going to have my say…

Personally I loved this film. It was what I wanted from a Mando film. I want to see Mando and Grogu going on adventures and claiming bounties. Fuck the big picture or being epic. I want to have fun and watch Mando kick either Imperial ass or crime syndicate ass. We got both in this film. Shit, we saw Mando go against the Huts and we met Jaba’s son, who doesn’t  want to be a gangster. We even got to see Jaba’S son fight in a blood sports and fight another Hut. I didn’t  know Huts could kick ass.

Shit, we saw Mando fight more Critters an in any season of his show.

We saw Mando get a new, practically brand new Wave Rider. I love that ship and have missed it.

Shit,Man, we got Samuel L Jackson back in Star Wars, of only in voice.

And we saw the Huts fight XWings..come on!!!

This film was kick assed…Yes, it wasn’t  a big picture Star Wars movie. Yes the main Star Wars universe can visit The Mandoverse, but Mando isn’t  bound to it. He has is own story and focus that has little to do with the bigger Star Wars story line. Mando is the lone stranger or Lone Wolf and Cub. He does his thing. I like that I have always Liked Mando and Grogu. The problem with the show was then he brought all the other Mandalorians into the mix.Mando is at this best when it is just him and his baby Yoda…fuck you, you called him that for the longest time..

Anyway, if you are not an obsessive Star Wars fan, you might get a couple of hours enjoyment in the universe Lucas started. For me I thing this film is MANDOTACULAR!!!

Review: The Obyssy (2026)

Review: The Odyssey (2026)

By William Pattison

This time I got the lastest film adaptation of Homer’s The Odyssey…

 

After the Trojan War, Odysseus faces a dangerous voyage back to Ithaca, meeting creatures like the Cyclops Polyphemus, Sirens, and Calypso along the way.

This is an outstanding adaptation of Homer’s epic story. Christopher Nolan shows himself once again as an artist. The production quality is right up there wit Openhymer. Nolan uses natural illumination, meaning candle and fire light so the indoor scenes have heavy shadows and present a near art noir feel to the scenes. Also, the the scenes in the cave of the Cyclops it makes the action harder to see but also causes the viewer to use their imaginations more. Also with the sound FX it makes the scenes that much more cringe. Nolan knows how to used sound to it’s full ada antage. This even extends to Obysius’s scene where he reclaims his throne. The sound in those scenes are just as brutal as the visuals. You hear bones crack and flesh rip. The visual FX are the best of any adaption of this story.

Matt Damon, Anne Hathaway, and Tom Holand are stunning as Odyssius and his family.

The only thing that annoyed me is that because of the WOKE rules still on the books, in order to be able to have his film in The Oscars Nolan had to turn all the the people in Troy black especially Helen of Troy. This bullshit sticks out in this film like a sore thumb, but I forgive Nolan for this annoying compromise in order to give this work a chance for accolades. I just wish these awards would stop being based on bullshit politics and be about the quality of the work itself.

Still, even with this smear on it Christopher Nolan’s The Odyssey is AWESOMETACULAR!!!