Review: Insidious:Out of the Further (2026)

Review: Insidious: Out of the Further (2026)

By William Pattison

This time I’m reviewing the new Insidious film…

Gemma, a young mother raising her daughter in the house she grew up in, discovers she can travel into The Further, where she possesses an ability to bring what lives there back to the real world.

Now, I have to say that I have had a long history watching the Insidious films. I actually went and saw the original Insidious at the Metrion in San Francisco after going to the final Wonder Con in the Bay Area. That was special and I was very pleased with the film…

I thought Insidious: The Red Door was the worst the franchise could get…Then I watched this film. It seemed like Blumehouse gave this to some random pothead filmmakers and said, “Do whatever you want just as long as it has people in bad theatrical makeup and Lyne Shay in it. Oh, and don’t  forget the Darth Maul demon, can’t forget him. That’s exactly what we got in this film. We got a jumbled mess of jump scares and people dressed as cause players crawling around and making faces at the camera.

Then they just threw Lyne Shay’s character in in the final act and just had her running around talking and doing NOTHING! And, we see the Darth Maul demon from the first Insidious for a whole two seconds. What the fuck? Absolutely none of the main characters stood out to me. I know the main girl somehow got the power to enter the Further at will. Oh, and she keeps getting chased by the ghost of her mom who keeps getting out of the further to attack and jump scare the audience. Oh joy. I felt nothing for anyone in this film, not one person.

Then, of course, these idiots decided to take their cues from Marvel and now we got a dick cult leader who was killed by cops and is planning to open the viel and set loose the ghosts of the Further to invade and possess all of living humanity…I kid you not. I wanted to puke. But in the end all is settled and all is happiness and puppies…UGH!!!

What the fuck, people. Is blume on drugs or what? That asshole green lit this fucked up mess. Give me a break!!! Lots of flashing lights and nutty people crawling around..Yeah, that’s  Insidious. What did these assholes went to see the Insidious haunted house at Universal Studios and said, “we can do one of these films.” Nooooo! Naughty! NAUGHTY!!!

So, this is my judgement of this film… it is DOGSHIT, THE WATERY KIND!!! Fuck you BluneHouse. Get your hands out of your asses and give us an honest Insidious film next time!!! AaaaaaaaaH!

 

 

Review: Event Horizon (1997)

Review: Event Horizon (1997)

By William Pattison

This time I got the best film to ever combine Gothic Horror and science fiction on the big screen.

The year is 2047 and a ship named the Event Horizon has re-appeared after disappearing seven years prior, in experiments for faster-than-light travel. A rescue vessel hastily speeds to the returned vessel after a transmission is picked up from the ship, garbled but vaguely resembling a human voice. As the crew reaches the ship and spends longer on it, it appears that someone or something is toying with them, and more, the question is what has the Event Horizon become?

There have been many science fiction films that cross over into the horror genre, for example The Fly, The Thing and Alien to mention three good examples. Yet for me this film is one of the best examples of a crossover between sci Fi and horror. This film literally takes the idea of a haunted house and a gateway to hell and presents it in a way that is stunningly Gothic and horrifyingly atmospheric and psychological.

The experimental ship, The Event Horizon blends espects of old ghost ship mythology with Catholic imagry and even aspects that remind us of Clive Barker’s Hellraiser films.

The connection to Barker is obvious since it was Clive who first took on this project with the plan of actually making this film Hellraiser in space. Unfortunately problems with production happened and Barker eventually walked away from the project. Later Clive did get his Hellraiser in space but it was part of the Hellraiser anthology film Hellraiser Bloodline. This film was handed off three more times before finally getting hot. Still much ofBarker’s influence still remains and the film is actually better for it. The Barker factor made this film bloody, drutal, and heavily psychological.

As I said, this film is loaded with religious imagery. The very Event Horizon ship is shaped like cross. Also the interiors of the ship have almost a Gothic cathedral feel it it.

In this film the ship itself is a character. It has been corrupted by traveling into a universe of chaos where pain and torture is all there is, literally Hell. Given the corruption the ship can bring out the frears, trauma, and guilt from the rescue party and it does it in spades. One member of the resue crew tried to commit suicide by leaving the ship without a spacesuite.the main character,Doctor Weir goes insane and turns himself into a vision of Hell itself.

If you like films like Hellraiser as well as haunted house films this is a film you must experience this film. It is AWESOMTACULAR!!!

Review: Frankenstein Unbound (2009)

Review: Frankenstein Unbound (2009)

By William Pattison

This time I’m reviewing Roger Corman ‘s incredible film adaptation of Brian W Aldris’ Frankenstein novel.

The ultimate weapon, which was meant to be safe for humanity, produces global side-effects, including time-slides and disappearances. The scientist behind the project and his car are transported from the year 2031 to 1817's Switzerland, where he finds Dr. Victor Frankenstein and his contemporaries…Lord Byron, Percy Shelly, and Mary Shelly, who is writing her novel…

This film was a labor of love for for Corman, who fell in love with Aldis’ novel. But, the thing was that Corman didn’t want to have to do this film on a shoestring budget, so he pulled his resources for a ten year battle to get this story on the big screen in all its glory. In the end this is this amazing artist’s greatest achievment, which is a lot to say about the guy who made Vincent Price and Jack Nickelson stars and brought us his incredible adaptations of Edgar Allan Poe. But, this time he had the budget he wanted and could fully bring his and Brian W Aldis’ Frankenstein tale to life.

With his budget he was able to get John Hurt as the unfortunate scientist  Joseph Duccanan as well as having the brilliant casting of Raul Julia as Victor Frankenstein. As well he had ridget Fonda as Mary Shelly and a wonderful performance by Nick Brimble as the Frankenstein monster.

The monster and bride design is outstanding. The monster actually has three color eyes. Also Buccanan’s talking car is a fun addition to the cast as well. Corman actually kept the car after the production was finished.p

The film was shot in Bucarist and features  Lord Byron’s villa where Frankenstein was actually written. Not bad for a B movie producer…

All in all this film is the ultimate expression of the brilliance of Roger Corman and is ULTRA AWESOMETACULAR!!!

If you haven’t had the pleasure of seeing this masterpiece, you can watch it on You Tube amazingly…

Review: Nightflyers (1987) and(2018)

Review: Nightflyers (1987)And (2018)

By William Pattison

This time I’m reviewing and comparing the 1987 adaptation and failed 2018 TV series of George RR Martin’s Gothic Horror/ Science Fiction story he did before working on Game of Thrones.

 

Professor hires a spaceship to get to the source of weird signals from deep space. The trip is cut short however when the ship's computer gets jealous because the captain is in love with one of the female passengers and it gets homicidal.

Yes, that is right. George RR Martin took the idea of a Gothic haunted house story and put in in space years before Event Horizon.

The film is brilliantly executed and really captures the feel of Martin’s story.

On the contrary theSYFY TV series goes totally against everything the movie does right. They triple the size of the frieghter, The NightFlyer and rather than keeping the cast of characters small so the audience can really get to know them they filled the ship with a huge crew that is mostly used for murder fodder. Most of the characters that made the original story interesting are drown out, including the psychic characters

Also, in the film and the story one of the main thrusts were therelationship between the changed sex clone of  the original captain of the ship, Royd played by Michel Pared), and the security chief of the expedition, Mirranda (played by Catherine Mary Scott). In the TV series they changed the two main characters and the villain black and the Royd (Roy Ellis in the TV series) and Miranda didn’t have the attraction of the ones in the story or movie. Shoot, they even changed all the character names in the series, except Adara.

Honestly the only good thing the TV series did was developed Royd’s “mother”, Adara. In the film she is a Gastly monster with electrical mind energy flashing over her zombie-like face. The TV Adara is far more human.

Unfortunately the TV series ends in a cliffhanger that will never be resolved. The ending makes the series an all together waste of time with nothing but plot holes.

The mivie and story end very well and complete the storylines of Royd and Miranda.

All in all the film and original story of Nightflyers are AWESOMETACULAR and the TV series is complete and utter DOGSHIT!!!

You can find the audiobook of the story and the movie on Youtube. The TV series I believe you might find on Netflix or Apple TV

Review: Dracula Eternal (2026)

Review: Dracula Eternal (2026)

By William Pattison

Oh, God, save me. This time I’m reviewing a new reinvisioning of the Bram Stoker classic novel. Oh, boy!!!

Dracula Eternal (2026)

 

Dracula Eternal: A woman's idyllic summer is shattered when her best friend falls ill, her fiance vanishes, and she's drawn into a terrifying battle against an ancient evil in this modern re-imagining of Bram Stoker's Dracula.

Oh, the pain! This is my one hundred and fifth “reimagining of Dracula. I know Bram must be turning in his grave at this point. I know that these films are going to be painful the moment I see in the description “A modern film reimagining of Bram Stoker’s classic Gothic novel.” That tells me the film is going to be complete and utter crap. Dracula stripped of the Gothic background and feel is in no way Dracula. This film is stripped of everything Gothic, fuck, it takes place in LA. Sorry, LA will work with most vampires, but not the big D man. He needs to be in Europe and he needs to be congress stand with mikeBy buying a car in Cortana it was all online got 3 plus I great terms good damn it just ******* wash your piece of *** **** it **** you *** **** itaround places that have more history than America can give.

That is why this film doesn’t work for me, besides the atrocious acting and production values. On top of that they have a plot twist that just made me twing. And, when the finally show Dracula, I wanted to puke. The guy playing him was horrible.

On top of it all they even put a cut reel, that is actually more entertaining than the film.

All in all this film is DOG SHIT!!! UGE!!! Avoid like the plague!

 

Review: Grave of the Vampire (1972)

Review: Grave of the Vampire (1972)

By William Pattison

This time I got an American dub of a Spanish classic vampire film that inspired the idea that vampires could breed with humans and create half vampire offspring…

Grave of the Vampire (1972)

 

A young man, born of a rape committed by a legendary vampire against a living woman, vows to locate and vanquish his undead father.

I remember seeing this film in my youth on Creature Features with Bob Wilkins. It interested me because it starred William Smith who played Falcon Eddie in Rich Man, Poor Man. In this film Smith played the half vampire son of the Vampire that disguised himself as a professor who specialized in the supernatural. When I was young, last time I saw this film I seven years old, I didn’t  get the rape angle of the vampire. Now, it add a new level of nastiness to the film and to this particular vampire.

Amusingly, though the one scene that stayed with me wasn’t the infamous tape scene, nor the baby drinking blood from his mom’s tit, it was the final confrontation between the vampire and his son. I remembered the vampire massacring his students at the get together and William Smith fighting him. I think thisvwas the initial inspiration for my vampire, Terrance Vance. Still obviously this film had an impact on me as a writer and the vampire genre in general. I believe it is because of this film we got all the literature and films about Day Walkers, Damphires, and the like. It made it that vampires don’t have to be strictly like Dracula, and opened the genre to all the different styles of vampires we have to this day. That said, I say this film is BLOODY AWESOMETACULAR!!!

Night of the Living Dead Remake (2026)

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Review: Night of the Living Dead (2026)

By William Pattison

This time I got the third remake of the George Romero classic that started the man eating zombie craze.

Let me make it clear that no remake will be as good as the original, but there are aspects of the remakes, well except the 2016 remake, which was a complete cluster fuck. I will speak of it no more. Still the first remake was a really good film, except turning Barbara into a tough assed bitch,  I still love the Tom Savini remake and it actually works better than the original when watching all the other Dead series movies.

What I really like about this film is they managed to add the coffee shop scene and the formation of the militia. I also like the addition of the Romero lookalike reporter “Bill”. I thought that was a real nice homage to the filmmaker and nearly added the new material to the narrative. Also I loved some of the rewriting on the Harry and his family scenes. I actually think it works a lot better than the original. Also I loved the changes to Barbara. I think they made her a stronger character without over doing it, like in the original and the Savini remake.

Now, let’s  talk about what I didn’t  like. I didn’t like them turning Ben into Ellie. What the fuck. You changed the best character into an angry tough black lady. Give me a fucking break. I nearly chocked on my coffee seven years ago when I read about this sex change. This was not nessedary. I’m fine with the actress’ performance, but I still thing Ellie is no Ben. Not because she is a woman but because he was a stronger character and her scene weren’t  even close to being as powerful of either the Ben in the original or the Savini remake. Ben was the hook for the film and without him it feels like something important is missing.

Also what the hell! The scenes with Barbara and her brother at the cemetery is missing and when she finds out he is a zombie happens in the first act? Excuse me. I don’t mind that Barbara escapes the encounter, but those were important scenes and these assholes cut them out? WRONG!!!

Also, where is the gore? This is supposed to be a Romero style zombie film. Romero zombie films are gory, meaning lots of blood, zombies eating flesh. This was cleaner than the original…

All in all this is an ok remake. The Savini remake is better as a whole, but these guys had the best Barbara of the remakes. So, if you want to see the scenes that Romero couldn’t  do? Here you go…