Review: The Deep Dark (2023)

Review: The Deep Dark (2023)

By William Pattison 

This time I’m pushing my comfort level with a subtitled  French horror film about miners encountering a monster while trying to takes samples deep in a mine…

Miners are forced to take a professor underground with them, to take samples for his measurements. After a landslide prevents them from going back up, they discover a crypt from another time, unknowingly waking up a bloodthirsty creature.

I’m going to start out by saying that I hate watching subtitled films. I know some people love watching films in there original language. That is not me. Give me a bubble version any day and usually Tubi TV usually have those available. Unfortunately in this case it didn’t so I grabbed my glasses and tried to read the dialogue. I failed. With my eye issues and the fact I had to watch this film on my phone they were a blurry mess. I gave up very quickly, which was annoying because this film was heavy on dialogue. Thank you Tubi for not providing a dub…bastards!. So without access to dialogue I wasn’t able to really connect with the characters or even know their names. They were all just generic miners.

Then, to make it worse, the filmmaker decided to film all the scenes in the mine by solely head lamps. Yes this did give the scene an uncomfortable claustrophobic feel, but now I had a lack of visuals to go with the lack of being able to read the dialogue.

Now, here comes the best part of the film. After an endless slog the monster arrives finally. I loved how the handled the creature. This thing was black and though it was bipedal it didn’t  look human. The sound the creature makes in the film sounds like tree branches breaking. It was cool and the filmmaker was brilliant in how little you actually saw of it. Mostly you saw flashes of the creature and saw a head lamp fail and hear bones crunching.

This was the best part of the film for me, which wasn’t much. The monster shows up only in the last  twenty minutes. But, holding the monster off so long gave it weight in the film because the rest of the film, even including the tunnel caving in was just plain boring without real access to the dialogue.

All in all I’m  not happy and feel cheated by this film. It had potential to be entertaining, but it was a slog and out of ninety minutes only the last twenty minutes have a minimal bit of value. Unless you love subtitles I can’t recommend this film. I lost seventy-five percent of the film because someone at Tubi or the production company decided not to include a dubbed edition. Such a fucking waste of time…

As stated you can find this film on Tubi TV…

 

Review: I, Madman (1989)

Review: I, Madman (1989)

By William Pattison

This time I got a freaky slasher/noir film that delves into the thin line between reality and fantasy…

Virginia works at a used book store. She's really into horror novels and discovers a really good book. It's called "I, Madman" and it's about an insane doctor who cuts off people's noses, ears, and hair and puts them on his face to please a girl he likes. Only Virginia discovers that the book is nonfiction, and every time she picks up the book to read it, she sees him. The insane doctor from the book has escaped the book into our reality.

This is a very excentric film that is brilliant because of it it’s  oddness.

Though this film was made in the 80s, it harken back to films of the 50s and even has a scene that is pure Hitchcock. Also, it is at times classic noir, right down to the music.

Randel Williams plays the part of the killer while also being the guy who created all the makeup FX for the film, much like Lon Chaney Sr did with the films he was in. How this happened was that the person the director hired to play the killer backed out at the last minute. Williams knew the script by heart, and was a very creepy person anyway. So he was offered the part and he happily took on the double duty. He actually became the standout in the film, well, next to the stop motion hyena boy. William’s voice and gestures add a lot to the character.

Jenny Wright is the perfect choice for actress/book fan Virginia. She adds just enough vulnerability and quirkiness to make the audience actually care about her fate. The only weakness I find in her storyline is that it is her boyfriend who is the lead detective, played by Clayton Rohner, investigating the murders. In the real world he would have to bow out because of his relationship with his lead witness. But this is I, Madman and it runs by its own rules.

Also, we come to the most freakiest decision of this freakshow of a movie, The Hyena Boy. This is one of the most freaky and unrealic part of the film. This thing is called the Hyena Boy, but it doesn’t look like a boy or a hyena or even a high red of  each. This gray skinned thing looks sort of like a monkey, dog mix. It doesn’t help the sound department used monkey squeels. Any other film this “thing” would be a disaster, but in this film it’s  charming.

This film is very unique and is a creature of it’s  own. It is a film I’ve gone back to over a hundred times because each time I find some new newance or little thing that adds to the oddity that is this film. And, it is this aspect that makes this film AWESOMETACULAR!!!

 

Review: Subspecies 5: Bloodrise (2023)

Review: Subspecies 5: Bloodrise (2023)

By William Pattison

This time I’m reviewing the latest Subspecies prequel that tells the story of how Radu becomes a vampire…

Stolen by crusaders on the night of his birth, he has no knowledge of his bloodline: his mother is a demon; his father is a vampire. Trained and exploited by a brotherhood of mystic monks to slay all enemies of the church, fate brings him back one night to the castle of his father, armed with the monster-slaying Sword of Laertes, to destroy the vampire Vladislas and reclaim a holy relic: The Bloodstone. The events of that night turn Radu from a noble man into a vampire with no master, setting him on a centuries-long quest for sustenance, and companionship, for the treacherous one who stole him from the sun, and for the Bloodstone he hopes will bring him peace. Spanning 500 years in the life of the vampire Radu Vladislas, this long-anticipated prequel to the Subspecies series chronicles Radu's descent from a noble warrior for the Church to a depraved creature of the night.

Ted Nicolaou spent twenty-five years craft this film and it shows. Cinematography, FX, and scripting shows how dedicated Nicolaou and crew was dedicated to this film.

This film is blessed by the fact that for a film on a Full Moon budget and shooting schedule that this film is actually stunningly visual. Most of the shots come off with wonderful use of browns and yellows, which are not usual for vampire films. Most horror films use a lot of blues, grays, reds, and blacks. They also heavily use shadows. Thought this film still have dark scenes Nicolaou doesn’t depend on them for atmosphere. In fact the last time Nicolaou used this kind of pallet was in The Vampire Journals. But of course he would because this film is not only a prequel to Subspecies, but also The Vampire Journals as well, much like Subspecies 4 was a crossover with The Vampire Journals.

This film not only gives us the backstory of Radu, but also The Vampire Ash from Vampire Journals.

Now I’m  not saying this is a perfect film. There were a few things, mostly casting, that bugged me. The most annoying was the casting ofevin Spirtas as King Vladaslas. The main problem is the Kevin is no Angus Scrim. Also the makupthey slopped on Spirtas was not in anyway the King Vladaslas we knew from the original Subspecies. It looked like a bad  Nosferatu cosplay from a horror convention. Also, how many times does Radu have to kill his dad? In this film he killed him twice. I guess third or fourth time is a charm..lol.

Another thing that bugged me was Radu himself. Through most of the film he reminds me more of Angus Scrim than Radu. I was happy when in the second half of the film Radu was a bit more like the blood slobbering Radu the fans love. But still after twenty-five years Anders Hove has kind of lost Radu. The voice and the manerisms are a bit off. Still he wasn’t  as bad as he was in Subspecies four. I had to keep telling myself this isn’t  Radu Vladislas, this is Jake Vladislas…lol.

Also, I wish they had been able to bring the original Ash in this film, because the new guy doesn’t say Ash, or even young Ash to me. I’m  sorry there is only one Ash to me. No other actor can be The Vampire Ash.

Ok, I gave you the bad, but now I bring you a sample of what I really loved about this film. The new Bloodstone looked enough like the original to be acceptable. The Bloodstone in Subspecies 4 was a cheap assed piece of crap.

Now I have to praise Nicolaou for putting Denise Duff in the role of Helena. All I can say is brilliant. It was wonderful to see Denice after all these years (remember 25 years have passed). The way Ted connect Helena, the Queen  of the Bucarest vampires to Michelle is nothing less than brilliant…And it explains why Radu was so set on making her his immortal companion.

Ok, all in all this film is one of the best Full Moon films to come out in over a decade. Also, it is Ted Nicolaou’s masterpiece and shows he is a far better direct than most horror fans think. And to pull this brilliance off on a Full Moon budget and film scedual just proved Ted’s brilliance.

Can I recommend this film?, you ask. Fuck yes I can! When I say this film is the best Full Moon has created I’m  serious.

Check this film out yourself! It is currently on Tubi TV.

Now, let there be a bloodbath!!!

 

Review: Subspecies 4: Blood Storm (1998)

Review: Blood Storm ;Subspecies 4 (1998)

By William pattison

This time I have the the fourth and what was supposed to be the final film in the series at the time.

I did not like this installment of the series as much as the earlier three films, even though it was a crossover to Ted Nicolaou’s The Vampire Journals.

One of the main problems was that this film was done after Full Moon and Parmount’s distribution agreement had ended and Full Moon was having to drastically cut the budgets of it’s films. Also, because of budget cuts the FX and makeup budgets were butchered. It is the main reason the Subspecies doesn’t appear, because the had no budget for the stop motion for the little minions. It can also be seen in the makeup work for Radu. In this film Radu no longer slobbers blood because the had todudget the use of fake blood. Also he doesn’t  have his custom teeth. In fact all the vampires look to be stuck sharing vampire teeth. As well budgetary restrictions also was the reason why all Michelle’s associates and her sister died at the beginning of the film. Only the character of Marrin survived, but he was only saved by being made into a vampire. Oh, and best of all they had a very cheap looking Bloodstone in this film. Supposedly the original Bloodstone had gotten lost between films so they had to make a replacement one. This one looks like a fan made model of it. It is too big and just plain looks wrong. Amusingly a few years ago Full Moon out out a Bloodstone model and this one is the right size and looks amazingly like the original from the original three film. What a joke.

Johnathon Morris is back as the music loving vampire  from Vampire Journal,Ash. But this time we find out that  Radu is his master. Also that Radu has claim to everything he has built. Also we have Mihai Dinvale back from Vampire Journal as  the vampire trying to cure himself but remain immortal Doctor Blood.

The best addition to the cast is Floriela Grappini as  Ash’s apprentice Seriena.

All in all even though this is not the best of the Subspecies series I found it entertaining. And if you are a completeist you won’t  was to miss the conclusion of the story of Michelle and Radu.

You can watch this film for free on Fawesome…

Bloodlust:Subspecies 3 (1997)

Review: Bloodlust: Subspecies 3 (1994)

By William Pattison 

This time I’m reviewing the third installment in Ted Nicolaou’s isSubspecies…

In Bucharest, Rebecca finds her sister Michelle in the catacombs of an old castle and kills Radu with a dagger. They flee, but Michelle is incapable to leave the dark place since the sun is shinning outside. Rebecca promises to wait for her until the night, but Michelle is captured by Mummy that uses her blood to revive Radu. Rebecca and Mel try to convince Lieutenant Marin to bring the police to the catacombs to look for Michelle. The Chief of Police is skeptic and Mel summons his CIA friend Bob to help him to hunt the vampire Radu and rescue Michelle. Will they succeed?

His is a another wonderful edition to the Subspecies series. This Michelle, once again played by Denice Duff, is now a vampire and is now bound to Radu through a spell by Mummy.

Radu , played masterfully by Anders  Hove again, in this film spends his time trying to seduce Michelle into the dark life of a vampire when I’ve endulging in the seduction of the Bloodstone itself. This film is the perfect ending to this chapter of the Subspecies story.

I highly recommend watching this film with the other two Subspecies films as a marathon. That is the best way…

 

Review: Bloodstone: Subspicies 2 (1993)

Review: Bloodstone: Subspecies 2 (1993)

By William Pattison

This time I’m reviewing the sequel to Ted Nicolaou’s Subspiecies…

 

Continuing after the first "Subspecies", a woman who has just become a vampire tries to escape the evil vampire, Radu, who seeks her as his love interest. But she has taken the vampire family's bloodstone, and now Radu must find her to get it back. While her sister comes to Romania to save her soul. It might be to late....

This is an excellent sequel. It starts right after the end of Subspecies. Michelle, now played by Denice Duff, is making the charge to a vampire after being bit by Radu and after his brother Stephan.

Denice Duff is a vast improvement over the actress who played Michelle. Her scenes with Radu are fantastic because of her range. Also, we can’t forgetAnders Hove as the horrifying, blood slobbering, Radu. He out does his performance in the first film. This film also has the additons of Melany Shatner (yes, William Shatner’s daughter) as Michelle’s sister Rebbeca, kevin spirits as CIA agent Mel, Ion Haidue as Chief of Police Marin, and Pamela Gordon as Radu’s Mummy, which I think is a fantastic edition to the story.

This film features a lot more FX and a lot more vampire action. One of my personal favorites is Nicolaou using shadows for a mease of transport for the vampires. Also once again they use the Subspecies very well in this film.

All in all this film does exactly what a good sequel does, it expands upon the original, much like Bride of Frankenstein did. I highly recommend this film…

 

Review: Subspecies (1991)

Review: Subspecies (1991)

By William Pattison

This time I’m reviewing Ted Nicolaou’s classic vampire tale…

After many years in exile, the evil vampire Radu returns to the fortress of his father, the good King Vladislav, in Prejnar, and kills his father to steal the powerful Blood Stone. Meanwhile, the Americans Michelle and Lillian travel to Transylvania to meet their Romanian friend Mara to research the locals and prepare a study for their PHD about the Romanian culture. They are lodged in an ancient house in Prejnar by the rough local Karl that explains that the residents believe there are good and evil vampires, but they live in peace with the vampires led by King Vladislav for centuries. Soon, Michelle meets the zoology student Stefan and they have a crush on each other. But Radu breaks the truce between the vampires and the humans and he attacks the three women. Stephen rescues the girls and discloses to Michelle that he is Radu's half-brother. Now, Stephen and Karl wants to stop the vampire, but he is powerful and smart, and sneaks in the darkness.

This film is still the best of the series.

The villain, Radu is at his best here. He is his most scariest and at his most blood thirsty. Also, in this film they do the best job of using the title creatures, the right inch tall Subspecies, which are created by Radu breaking off his own fingers and use black magic to turn the fingers into the little demon creatures. The creatures are brought life through animation and still backgrounds. The animation and design of the creatures was done  uhby the same animator who created Gumby and Pokie.

The cast does a really good job. Unfortunately the character of Michelle, played in this film by Laura Mae Tate, was recast in Subspecies 2.

Phantasm star Angus  crim has an excellent cameo as the vampire king Vladislaz. Actor Anders Hove starts his iconic run as the blood slobbering Vampire/Warlock Radu Vladislaz. Also actor Michael Watson plays Radu’s brother Stephan.

This film, which was actually shot in Romania really handles and presents a lot the local vampire mythology as well. Including the ritual for finding the grave of a vampire.

All in all of you like some good, bloody, vampire action with a very original style of vampire this is definitely your film…