Review: Miss Wilorghby and the Haunted Bookstore (2019)

Review: Miss Willorghby and the Haunted Book Shop (2021)

By William Pattiso

This time I got an amusing paranormal mystery..

Tragically orphaned at a young age, Elizabeth Willoughby inherited her impressive family estate and was raised by retired US Marine, Robert. Under his watchful guidance, her childhood was spent studying strategy, history and literature, all the while mastering the ancient arts of combat. Now an Ancient Civilization professor at University, Willoughby receives a call from family friends, Helen and Oliver Deakins, who have been experiencing a series of hauntings at their antique bookshop. With nobody else to turn to, and knowing Willoughby's insatiable appetite for investigation, Helen asks Willoughby to get to the bottom of this paranormal mystery.

Don’t expect any jump scares, blood, or even cool makeup fx in this film. I’m  a big fan of British style mysteries and that is what this film is. It is a charming mystery movie with interesting characters and an interesting sleuth, this time being Elizabeth “Lizzy” Willoghby.

Lizzy is played to perfection by actress Nathalie Cox and joined by Kelsey Grammar as her guardian Robert Whindgate. Together Cox and Grammar are excellently paired as the sleuth and her “Watson”.

As far as the mystery itself, it is nothing much. It is actually very predictable. I. Fact the ghost in the story really doesn’t  make much of an impression.  Also, the haunted bookshop is only in a couple of scenes. So, don’t  expect any scares. This film isn’t  a horror film, even though it is in the horror section of Fawesome.

When it comes down to it this film is very character forward and mystery is really in the background. It is more about seeing Miss Willoghby doing her thing and just enjoying the characters.

Personally, I would love to see Lizzy and Robert come back for another adventure or even a series of mysteries. This movie was a fun ride.

So, with all this said, get yourself a pot of English tea, some Bangers and Mash, and an English Trifle and sit back and enjoy the show. I know I did…

Review Vivarium (2019)

Review: Vivarium (2019)

By William Pattison

This time I got a film that would put a smile on Rod Sterling’s face…

Aspiring to acquire their dream home, Gemma, a primary school teacher, and her boyfriend, Tom, follow Martin, a creepy real estate agent, to the idyllic suburban development called Yonder. But there, surrounded by identical, picture-perfect houses, the young couple is in for a big surprise--and it is not about the suspiciously affordable price of the pastel-coloured, eerily vacant house. Is house #9, indeed, the ideal home?

This is an incredibly freaky film. The filmmakers found, or might have built one of the most disturbingly plain house in a plain housing project in film history.this place is pleasantville on acid. And even more creepy is there is not a living soul who lives there…well except for the main characters and one of the most creepy creepy kids I’ve  experienced in film with a screech that puts the kid from The Barbadook to shame.

Basically this film is a nilistic representation of the boredom, monotony, and tedium of living in an urban existence, but in a horror and psychological way. It is literally the circle of human life in modern times viewed in an otherworldly manner. It is a show burn for the most part, so don’t  expect monsters or any jump scares. This is a beast of a different type from what most horror fans are used to.

 Jesse Eisenberg and Imogen Poots play Tom and Gemma, the unfortunate couple stuck in the *perfect* community from hell. Also Senan Jennings plays the creepiest creepy boy I’ve  ever seen, and I’ve seen a lot. Also  Eanna Hardwick plays the older boy this son of Satan grows into.

This film is really a work that could have been part of The Twilight zone. It hits heavily in the psychological and gives you clues to what is going on but infact never actually tells you. You literally come out of this film wondering if it was aliens or what the hell was happening. But I can tell you that the ride is enough and you can figure it out in your own head cannon. B

For me it was a trip well taken and one I will happily recommend…

 

 

Review: Neon Maniacs (1987)

Review: Neon Maniacs (1987)

By William Pattison

All right we end our series of iconic films that were made in San Mateo and San Francisco Counties with a film that barely managed to get finished.

Yes, I’m talking about  that amusing monster mash Neon Maniacs.

This film has an awesome concept. It is about a bunch of cool individual monsters and killers from another reality that come to this world to hunt and slaughter. Sounds great. But unfortunately you end up with money picking asshole producers and you get this sad abused piece of cult horror. So, much potential but destroyed by the studio..

This production was riddled with issues that nearly caused the film to not be finished. First off there were originally supposed to be twenty five of the title creatures but the producers ended up having to cut the number of creatures in half due to financial issues. Also one of the maniac actors quit because the production started to cost cut and changed the contracts of the actors. The production found a replacement for the actor but because the makeup and costume department had to rework the character to fit the new actor a bunch of the members of both departments got cut to make up the money. Eventually the incompentant producers cut so much of the production budget they had to cut a lot of the origin scenes for the monsters as well as cut out a lot of the major kill scenes. In the end the film that ended up being produced bore no resemblance to the original script what the filmmaker intended. The entire origin of the Maniacs were cut down to a voice over monologue and a guy finding a bag with Maniac trading cards with the rough hint that the individual creatures came from the cards themselves, even though later thestory has something about a bus and a hinted portal. Anyway, as you can guess this film is a bit of a mess. The creatures are cool and it would have been great if someone had put out Neon Maniac action figures, with the trading cards of course. But as a film this piece of San Francisco film history has a shitload of issues.

His film is a prime example of how fucked up it is to work with producers who don’t understand film production.

Viewers are lucky they managed to get anything near to a coherent film in the end. The scenes they managed to shoot had potential but the film is so Frankensteined together it is loaded with scenes that go against others and are  full of missing info and plot holes. No good.

In many scenes you see the actors struggling with their performances.Yet somehow with everything wrong with this film it is amazingly entertaining in spite of itself. It’s  an interesting hot mess with cool monsters and in the end by some magical bit does the job. What more can I say???

Review: The Video Dead (1987)

Review: The Video Dead  (1987)

For our second iconic horror film that was made in San Mateo and San Francisco counties is one of the most unique zombie films you will ever find…

The writer Henry Jordan receives a mysterious TV set and soon he learns that the apparatus is a gateway through which undead come to the world of the living. They kill Henry and the house is sold to another family. The teenager Zoe Blair comes to house to clean it for her parents that are traveling abroad. Her brother Jeff Blair comes later to help Zoe and finds the TV set in the basement. He brings to his room and out of the blue, the stranger Joshua Daniels knocks on the door. Joshua explains that he sent a TV set mistakenly to that address, instead of to the Department of Occult Warfare. Jeff does not believe in Joshua, but soon he leans the truth about the TV of the undead.

The zombies in The Video Dead are different from any other zombies in film. These are not exactly real zombies. They are characters brought to life and set loose our would through a cursed TV set. These zombies only kill people if they show fear. Also, like anything that comes out of the cursed TV they are afraid of mirrors because when they look into one they can see their lack of a soul. Also, únlike your usual zombie these are highly intelligent and can use tools and weapons to kill people. Also, if you lock the zombies in a room together they go nuts and eat each other.

In the film we see a couple other decisions from the TV. One is the seductrice who tries to seduce the teenaged main character. Also there is The Garbage Man who is a human who found a way inside the TV and has been spending years hunting The Video Dead in the TV world.

Unfortunately the film itself is an unfinished work. A third of the film was never finished due to the fact that the people financing the film pulled their money two thirds of the way through the production. This caused the filmmaker to have to cut out parts of the film that would have better explained certain things in the plot, like The Garbage Man and The Seductress. Still, the filmmaker managed to shoot the origin scenes, and a usable ending. But thankfully through carful editing they managed to put together a complete film, unlike the film in my next review.

All in all The Video Dead is a unique and well done cult classic low budget horror film.

If you are a zombie fan you will not want to miss these zombies…

Review; Nightmare in Blood (1977)

Review: Nightmare in Blood (1977)

By William Pattison

This time I’m review the first of three independent films that were produced in both San Mateo and San Francisco Counties. For the first I have a homage tand love note to tacky, cheesy horror films with this film which was directed, produced, and written by my horror host mentor, John Stanley…

Attendees at a horror-film convention in San Francisco keep disappearing. It turns out that the guest of honor is a real vampire, and his henchmen are kidnapping the convention guests. A horror writer, a Sherlock Holmes fan and an Israeli Nazi-hunter set out to stop him.

If you are a full on horror host show, cheesy classic and iconic classic horror fan this is your film. It was created with pure love by, journalist, horror host, author, movie reviewer, and all out horror and science fiction geek, John Stanley.

John, was the guy at KTVU in San Francisco and in Sacramento who was always sent on assignment to do stories on attraction and movie premieres. Because of this John was well known by theatre and attraction management, so when he decided to make his movie he had a lot of resources to work with in order to give his movie the feel he wanted on a shoestring budget. Maney of the set pieces of this movies feature places like The Fox theatre in Oakland, Pier 39, Madam Truisough’s Wax Musium, and even the studios of KTVU, most notably The Creature Features set.

A lot of The acting and characterizations in this filmare purposely pure tougue in cheek. This film is by a horror geek for horror geeks, so what do you expect.

This film is most definitely a Bay Area film with that very Bay Area feel.

Amusingly, the opening of this film is a firm example ofguarilla filmmaking, literally. John actual had the good luck of being able to film footage frown the Bay Area premiere of the original Conquest of the Planet of the Apes and caught shots of fans running around wearing ape costumes. It was an incredible bit of luck and helped establish that the film took place at a fan convention.

This film is not at all scary, but it is one that you can sit with a bunch of friends and drink a Coke Zero with popcorn with diet butter, because you have to watch the fat and sugar because you are getting old…lol…and just have a good time watching something made for you, you geek!

 

Review:Beyond the Grave (2023)

Review: Beyond the Grave (2023)

By William Pattison

This time I’m reviewing a paranormal documentary abóut rebranding Death..

Beyond the Grave (2023)

 

An investigative journalist researches the mystery of what happens after death. She interviews several people who have had Near Death Experiences, visits a reputed haunted house, and gets a reading by a Medium.

This is an excellent documentary when it comes to the paranormal and the new theories regarding the body and mind during death. This film is full of excellent interviews with people who have had an afterlife and a haunting experience. Some of these interviews are with people I actually know and trust in the paranormal including researcher and person who died and had an out of body experience Peter Anthony. Peter tells his story of how he was rushed to the emergency with blood issuing from his mouth. He is misdiagnosed as being in the final stages of AIDS and was being left to die when Death came for him. Then the documentary goes to Arizona and the headquarters of Alsor and discusses the technology of cryonics. I found this part interesting because my former associate Shane Molher obsessed with cryonics and was actually a member of Alcor. Unfortunately when he died from diabetes the hospital costs took so much a toll on his finances he was unable to get himself cryptically suspended. Amusingly though his cat, Tuffy, was one of the feline subjects of Alcore. Finally, they also included an interview with my dear friend Andrea Peron, who experiences the events depicted in The Conjuring as well as authored the three books in the House of Darkness, House of Light series, which is the true story. She talks about her eleven years living in a haunted farmhouse.

As I stated earlier this is an excellent documentary if you are interested  in the afterlife without having to go through an entire ghost hunt.

The only thing I disagree with the documentary on is the idea that spirits cannot be dangerous. Being a person who has lived in a haunted house and had several paranormal and out of body experiences I know for a fact spirits can be dangerous and can in fact cause the living both mental and physical harm. I know this from actual experience. Same with life after death. So, from experience I agree and disagree with this documentary. I disagree with some of the critics that the film needs a bit of editing, but that is just my informed opinion.

So, all in all I consider this documentary AWESOMTACULAR!!!!

You can find this on Tubi.

Review: 100 Feet (2009)

Review:100 Feet (2008)

By William Pattison

This time I got my number one favorite Ghost film of the past decade, done by the film genius, and that is my informed opinion, Eric Red…

A young woman, Marnie Watson, is granted early release from her prison sentence for manslaughter (killing her husband - a violent NYC cop - in self defense) on condition she wear an electronic ankle bracelet and remain within her home, effectively under house arrest, for the remainder of her sentence. Her late husband's partner keeps tabs on her from a patrol car parked across the street, hoping she'll violate probation and he can send her back to prison. But the 100-foot radius her ankle bracelet allows isn't the worst of her problems.

Now, to start out with, if you want to be completely blown away you need to track down and buy a copy of the Hollywood Video Exclusive Unrated version of this film because the mere two and a half minute of additional footage elevates this film to genius level. You jaw will literally drop and you will be stunned. It is the definition of brutal perfection. It makes Negan’s murderous introduction in The Walking Dead look cute and cuddly by comparison. I kid you not.

So, this is filmmaker, Eric Red’s violent and claustrophobic masterpiece about a woman, played brilliantly by Fanke Jameson, who is trapped in her brownstone where a year before she freaked out and cut the head off her abusive cop husband. She is trapped because she is tethered to the house by an electronic bracelette around her ankle that only allows her to go one hundred feet in any direction or an alarm goes off and she is only allowed one minute to get back into the one hundred toot zone or the police will come and take her to prison. But she is unaware that she is not alone. The vengeful spirit of her husband is also tethered to the brownstone and is going to use her for his personal punching bag.

Also, added into the mix is her husband’s partner who thinks the wife didn’t kill her husband but is being bullied into silence by the “real” killer. As well is a young delivery man who falls for her … but you have to watch the unrated version to truly appreciate his fate.

Eddie and the Cruisers star Michael Pare plays the spirit of the dead husband, but you would not recognize him with the freaky ghost FX that Eric Red Co seals him underneath. You actually only get to get a clear look at him at the very end of the film.

But, when it comes down to it this is Famke’s film and she is literally put through hell throughout this nightmare of a film.

Years ago I had Eric Red on my Podcast, An Awakening of Horror and we spent over two and a half hours discussing this film. Eric praised it as the best interview of his career.

But, I’m not mentioning the interview just to pat myself on the back, though I deserve it. It is because Eric talked about how he manipulated Fanke to get the incredible performance out of her. He literally made her hate Michael Pare and at the end of the shoot she even ended up punching him in the face to get rid of the anger and stress she was under, though for all I know this might be an amusing fiction on Eric’s part. For me, I can believe it.

But once again I heartily suggest you see the uncut version because you

Literally get to see a human being broken into a bag of mush wíth all the yummysnapping and crushing sounds and closeups of limps and

 ribs breaking…spoilers !!!... Now that is a party!!!