Review: Killer Whale (2029)

Review: Killer Whale (2026)

By William Pattison

This time I’m reviewing a film about a psychotic Orca and two ladies trapped on a rock..Oh boy…

Killer Whale (2026)

Maddie, a cellist haunted by the tragic death of a friend and her resulting hearing loss, travels to Thailand with her best friend Trish to heal from the trauma. However, their retreat turns into a fight for survival when they become trapped in a secluded lagoon and hunted by an aggressive orca. Isolated in a hostile environment, Maddie must push her survival instincts to the limit as she faces not only the relentless attacks of the apex predator, but also a devastating betrayal.

Ok, this film is the only killer Orca film I’ve  seen since I saw the classic horror film from 1977, Orca. Yes, it’s  been that long since I’ve  seen a film about a killer Orca. The thing is when people think killer ocean predator the always think sharks. For most people orcas are those large whales they see do tricks at Sea World. But Orcas are a major predator species that take out seals and even on occasion great white sharks. Also, extremely rarely do these intelligent mamels ever attack humans, but it does happen.

 I was hoping this film was going to be the film to show that aspect of Orcas, but unfortunately it appears the filmmakers looked at over used shark tropes and simply whrote in whale instead of shark. Seriously, the Orca in this film acts more like a shark than an orca. But what can you expect from filmmakers looking for an easy answer.

Shit, the CGI whale shots look facky as hell. Supposedly the whale is swimming Under the water but the  water doesn’t look affected by the whale.

Also, another serious issue with this film is a lack of suspense. Things happen, but they just happen. We needed a Sheriff Brody moment where you feel the moment. It’s  a film about a psycho whale for fucks sake!!!

I was amused that the main push of this film was actually an incident toward the beginning of the film that literally destroys the main character’s life. Yes, rather than focusing on the killer whale that is out to get them the two ladies on the rock in the middle of the isolated lagoon are dealing with personal issues related to their relationship and the death of their male friend, and I’m not talking about the guy who became Free Willy chow at the lagoon.

I have to give kudos to Virginia Gardner, who plays Maddie, and Mel jarner, who plays Trish. Bother of these ladies have their in all, even with this freaky assed script. This film royally needed a rewrite. You had a whale that didn’t bact like like a whale and people who make wonkie decisions. I mean, give me a break. You are trapped on a rock in the middle of a lagoon out in nowhere with a phsycho whale after you and you are going to talk about personal problems? PHSYCO WHALE!!! For fucks sake!!!

So, did I enjoy this film? I have mixed feelings about it. I hated the movie, but I felt for Maddie.

How did it compare to Orca? Give me a break. Orca was a freaky film too. It was about a whale getting revenge on the humans that killed its baby. In this film the mentioned this whale had a miscarriage. I’m sure that was the filmmakers showing they knew about Orca.

So, my answer is Orca is worlds better than this film. I’m borobably forget this film exists in a couple days. Nope, it’s gone.

My suggestion is go find Orca and watch it and forget this waste of money and time.

 

Review:Obsession (2026)

Review: Obssession (2025)

By William Pattison

This time I got a freaky film from Blumhouse about a guy who wants his crush to love and he ends up getting his wish in horrifying spades…

After breaking the mysterious "One Wish Willow" to win his crush's heart, a hopeless romantic finds himself getting exactly what he asked for but soon discovers that some desires come at a dark, sinister price.

Now let me start by saying that Blumehouse has come out with a lot of freaky shit over the years, but this one take the prize for freakyness.

This film takes the dream of finding a love spell and twists it into insanity. I’ve  seen many takes on this theme before…The episode of Buffy where Zandor tried to put a live spell on Cordillia and ends up having every woman in town obsessively lusting after him including Buffy and her mother. But that must bow to this film.

This film doesn’t  have the look nor feel of a Blumehouse film. For one thing this film has no humor in it. Also this color scheme and music feels more like something from the 80s or early 90s. This film gets royally dark and nasty.

I have to give a great amoount of acalades to Andi Navarette, who gives a psychotically freaky performance of a girl cursed with the love spell from hell. This girl deserves an award for the how truly scary she was. She was royally the obsessed, clinging, girlfriend of nightmares.

Also I have to give cudos to  Michael  Johnston as Bear, the Romeo who made a big boo boo…a serious one.

This film takes the idea of the crazy girlfriend and puts it on acid. I was constantly going, “You’re not going that way..” and guess what?

I can honestly say this film is the nastiest film to come out of Blumehouse period.

This film is a must see, I can say no more than that…

 

Review: They will Kill You (2026)

Review: They Will Kill You (2026)

By William Pattison

This time I’m reviewing a film about a tough assed Black woman who must fight emortal Satan worshipers to save her younger sister…

Ten years earlier, a bullet through the chest separated tight-knit sisters Asia and Maria Reaves. But the days in jail fly by when all you have is undying revenge to keep you going. Now, a pitiless avenger has set foot in The Virgil, an impregnable New York City den of Satanists, and forgiveness is not her style. All she wants is to have her family back. However, the intruder is way out of her league; inside the nine-story neo-Gothic building, an army of Hell's disciples would rather die again and again than fail their master. And before tonight's black mass, they will kill her. When so much more is at stake than just losing your life, what is the point in fighting a losing battle?

What do you get when you combine Ready or Not with John Wick and a touch of Kill Bill? I would say it would be very close to this freaky film.

You may think you know what you are going to get with this film, but you don’t . This film is a blood and gore fest that runs at high speed. It is the type of film that could be confusing or just look comical. Surprisingly it doesn’t . It also could easily have turned monotonous, but it isn’t .

This film completely and utterly kept my interest.

Azzie Beets does an amazing and exhausting job playing Asia, the crazy black lady who must fight her way through an army of immortal bloodthirsty Satanists. This poor actress worked for her pay doing this role. It was non stop and she was on screen from beginning to end in this film.

Also the FX worked really good, especially the dead pig that was possessed by Satan. Those FX blew me away.

This film was tornado of action from start to finish.

All in all, I got to tell you that this film is AWESOMETACULAR and is a film you don’t want to miss…

 

 

Review: The Bride! (2026)

Review: The Bride! (2026)

By William Pattison

Ok, this time I’ve finally got a chance to see the remake of the 80s horror film The Bride.

Chicago, 1936. Bearing the scars of defiance on his freakishly strong body,The Frankenstein Monster feels tired of dodging bullets and escaping the mob. Now, the man on the run is desperate for connection and a soulmate to share the burden of existence. And the brilliant Dr Euphronius must deliver, like it or not. After all, the blasphemous goal may sound impossible, but it has happened before. However, as Ida steps into the picture, doubts emerge: Undoubtedly, she is beautiful in her own strange way, but is she what Frankie wants? Born dead in a dangerous world, two stowaways of life who cheated death have one shot at making it work. But what if Ida is nobody's bride?

Ok, this remake is worlds different from the original 80s film.

This film is very much written by a feminist and pushing that agenda. The most evident part is the way the ghost of Mary Shelley is presented in this film. This version of the author is a fowl mouthed feminist construction pushing the feminist agenda rather than presenting a more honest representation.

Given the beginning of the film I was actually pleasantly surprised that I actually enjoyed this film. But besides the warped feminist Mary Shelly, the director actually had a scene at a night club that looked more modern than correct to the 1930s time period. These aspects of the film along with getting “The Message” and social polital propaganda was annoying and kind of took me out of the story. I would have rather they keep the story in the correct time period rather than poluting it with modern images or ideas.

Still, I did find myself getting into the story and feeling for Frank and his bride. I thought Essie Buckley  did a wonderful job as The Bride, aka Ida. As well Christian Bale  did an equally good job as Frankenstein’s Monster.

All in all I thought this remake was ok, but I personally thought it didn’t  live up to The Bride of Frankenstein nor the 80s film, The Bride. This film was marred with modern social political bullshit. Still, it is still watchable and I will recommend this film for Horror fans…

 

Review: Imaginary (2026)

Review: Imaginary (2024)

By William Pattison

This time I’m reviewing a film about a demonic teddy bear…

When Jessica moves back into her childhood home with her family, her youngest stepdaughter, Alice, finds a stuffed bear named Chauncey. As Alice's behavior becomes more and more concerning, Jessica intervenes only to realize that Chauncey is much more than the stuffed toy bear she believed him to be.

Ok, people, I had been waiting to see this film after I saw the trailer two years ago.So I was so happy when I found it available on Tubi TV. Of course, then I watched this…

Ok, let’s  start the pain. Both the trailer and the poster make this look like the bear itself was going to be the big a big deal in the film, like Teddy Anabelle. Nope. The fucking bear is barely in it. Things happen but the bamn bear just sits there looking cute and cuddly. The fucking thing has a music box in it that plays a sickly sweet tune. Come on people. I want a demonic scare bear nut fluffy the boring demon bear. The thing doesn’t  even move or make faces. At the end they have a horrible, and not in the good way, monster bear at a distance down a hall, but that is it. SHIT!!!

Then the little girl in this film is a HORRIBLE actress. When she cries in the film you immediately cringe and shout out fake. Also the girl acts like she is trying to remember lines…Oh, God, save me.

Worse yet this film was made during the WOKE epidemic and it royally suffers from it. You got a white, English, dad with two white daughters and a black stepmother. The black step mother gets most of the scenes. Oh, and the demon resurrects the girls dead mother and I swear they purposely hired a woman who looks exactly like the evil stepmother from Snow White. This woman was scary.

And on top of all this most of this film is boring and annoying. It is only during the last twenty minutes that this film actually get interesting, when the little girl gets stole by the demon and stepmother and sister has to go into the teddy bear’s world to save the annoying little girl. This is were we get freaky stuff and Fluffy the CGI monster bear. This part was somewhat entertaining, but reminded me of something from a Freddy Krueger movie…so ALREDDY SEEN THAT!!! So, not placidated…YOU LOSE!!!

To put it simply, this film was a lot of promise and no delivery. So you know my answer to if I recommend this film??? Fuck no!!!

Review: Mortal Combat 2 (2026)

Review: Mortal Combat 2(2026)

By William Pattison

This time I got a review of the sequel to the lacking remake of the original Mortal Combat movie. May the pain begin…

Kitana struggles beneath Shao Kahn's control as Earthrealm's defenders prepare for a deadly tournament that threatens multiple realms. Lord Raiden and Sonya Blade gather fighters including Liu Kang, Cole Young, and Johnny Cage to challenge Outworld's growing power. As alliances shift and ancient forces return, the champions face overwhelming enemies, dangerous magic, and personal conflicts that test their loyalty. The battle for Earthrealm becomes a fight between freedom and domination, with warriors forced to discover what they are willing to sacrifice.

Though I have to say this film is better than the sequel to the original Mortal Combat movie, Mortal Combat Apocalyse. That film was a horrifying mess and was an insult to the original. This film is just boring and the fighting sucks.

The the only person in this film that stands out and is worth watching is Carl Urban as Johnney Cage. Urban is wasted in this film. He gives his all but this film doesn’t  have the juice. He is the best Johnney Cage in any of the films, unfortunately.

The original had some of the best martial arts action on film, but this film barely has a pulse. It tries but fails. I was dozing off watching this shit, and I’m  a huge Mortal Combat fan.

So, with that said, I need to close the lid on the coffin. In my humble opinion as a reviewer of over twenty-five years and a fan of Mortal Combat I say that this film is DOG SHIT. Better than the original sequel to Mortal Combat, but still DOGSHIT!!!!

 

 

Review: Disclosure Day (2026)

Review: Disclosure Day (2026)

By William Pattison

This time I got the latest film by Stephen Spielburg and what I consider a sequel to Close Encounters…

A weather news anchor begins experiencing strange behaviors and discovers she can suddenly speak various dialects--including what appears to be an alien language. At the same time, a mysterious man with an unknown past comes into possession of stolen government evidence proving the existence of extraterrestrial life and is determined to make it public. For reasons neither fully understands, the two are drawn together. If they can navigate government agents, suspicious spouses, and others trying to stop them, they may reveal a truth that could change humanity forever.

Well, it’s  finally happened, Stephen Speilburg has done a sequel to Close Encounters of the Third Kind, even though he won’t admit it.

The reason he doesn’t admit it is because there are no direct references to Close Encounter. In fact this film deals with the victims of life long alien abductions and the stories of the non- government agency of the modern UFO, Oh, how stupid of me. I mean UAP culture. But, Stephen being a sneaky bastard put in one subtle reference that screams, THIS IS A CLOSE RNCOUNTERS SEQUEL!!!! I’ll  reveil it later..

This is a wonderful harken back to the good ole days of the 80s but with a dash of the modern. Shit, Stephen even dragged John Williams out of the old files home in his wheelchair and got him to do the music for this “Not Close Encounters Sequel.”

This film is not shy on the action and even has a scene where the “non-government” agency tries to kill the two main characters.

Emiley Blunt does an outstanding job as Margaret, one of the chosen ones. This poor girl had a lot on her plate because she had the entire film on her sholders and she had to learn to deliver lines in multiple languages, including alien.

In fact everyone in this film did outstanding jobs, including the background people. But of course this is a Stephen Spielburg film, it’s  expected.

Now, to the proof that this is actual undeniable PROOF that this is the sequel to Close Encounters. In a flashback, when Margaret goes to the reconstruction of her family home, she relives her first abduction. During it she sings a song to calm herself. Guess what song?  The Jimmeny Cricket song from Pinochio. The same song Richard Dreifus had the music box of in CLOSE ENCOÚNTERS. The fucking music they played at the end of the movie!!!

So, is this a good sequel to Close Encounters? Fuck yeah. I loved it. It gave me the tingles and brought me back to a world free of WOKE and The Message. It reminded me of a time when Spielburg and Lucas were the Titans of Hollywood and summer movies were truly magical. It is a time I sorely miss and mourn.

So, what is my rating? What the fuck you think???

EIGHtIES AWESOMETACULAR!!!!