Review: Event Horizon (1997)

Review: Event Horizon (1997)

By William Pattison

This time I got the best film to ever combine Gothic Horror and science fiction on the big screen.

The year is 2047 and a ship named the Event Horizon has re-appeared after disappearing seven years prior, in experiments for faster-than-light travel. A rescue vessel hastily speeds to the returned vessel after a transmission is picked up from the ship, garbled but vaguely resembling a human voice. As the crew reaches the ship and spends longer on it, it appears that someone or something is toying with them, and more, the question is what has the Event Horizon become?

There have been many science fiction films that cross over into the horror genre, for example The Fly, The Thing and Alien to mention three good examples. Yet for me this film is one of the best examples of a crossover between sci Fi and horror. This film literally takes the idea of a haunted house and a gateway to hell and presents it in a way that is stunningly Gothic and horrifyingly atmospheric and psychological.

The experimental ship, The Event Horizon blends espects of old ghost ship mythology with Catholic imagry and even aspects that remind us of Clive Barker’s Hellraiser films.

The connection to Barker is obvious since it was Clive who first took on this project with the plan of actually making this film Hellraiser in space. Unfortunately problems with production happened and Barker eventually walked away from the project. Later Clive did get his Hellraiser in space but it was part of the Hellraiser anthology film Hellraiser Bloodline. This film was handed off three more times before finally getting hot. Still much ofBarker’s influence still remains and the film is actually better for it. The Barker factor made this film bloody, drutal, and heavily psychological.

As I said, this film is loaded with religious imagery. The very Event Horizon ship is shaped like cross. Also the interiors of the ship have almost a Gothic cathedral feel it it.

In this film the ship itself is a character. It has been corrupted by traveling into a universe of chaos where pain and torture is all there is, literally Hell. Given the corruption the ship can bring out the frears, trauma, and guilt from the rescue party and it does it in spades. One member of the resue crew tried to commit suicide by leaving the ship without a spacesuite.the main character,Doctor Weir goes insane and turns himself into a vision of Hell itself.

If you like films like Hellraiser as well as haunted house films this is a film you must experience this film. It is AWESOMTACULAR!!!

Review: Frankenstein Unbound (2009)

Review: Frankenstein Unbound (2009)

By William Pattison

This time I’m reviewing Roger Corman ‘s incredible film adaptation of Brian W Aldris’ Frankenstein novel.

The ultimate weapon, which was meant to be safe for humanity, produces global side-effects, including time-slides and disappearances. The scientist behind the project and his car are transported from the year 2031 to 1817's Switzerland, where he finds Dr. Victor Frankenstein and his contemporaries…Lord Byron, Percy Shelly, and Mary Shelly, who is writing her novel…

This film was a labor of love for for Corman, who fell in love with Aldis’ novel. But, the thing was that Corman didn’t want to have to do this film on a shoestring budget, so he pulled his resources for a ten year battle to get this story on the big screen in all its glory. In the end this is this amazing artist’s greatest achievment, which is a lot to say about the guy who made Vincent Price and Jack Nickelson stars and brought us his incredible adaptations of Edgar Allan Poe. But, this time he had the budget he wanted and could fully bring his and Brian W Aldis’ Frankenstein tale to life.

With his budget he was able to get John Hurt as the unfortunate scientist  Joseph Duccanan as well as having the brilliant casting of Raul Julia as Victor Frankenstein. As well he had ridget Fonda as Mary Shelly and a wonderful performance by Nick Brimble as the Frankenstein monster.

The monster and bride design is outstanding. The monster actually has three color eyes. Also Buccanan’s talking car is a fun addition to the cast as well. Corman actually kept the car after the production was finished.p

The film was shot in Bucarist and features  Lord Byron’s villa where Frankenstein was actually written. Not bad for a B movie producer…

All in all this film is the ultimate expression of the brilliance of Roger Corman and is ULTRA AWESOMETACULAR!!!

If you haven’t had the pleasure of seeing this masterpiece, you can watch it on You Tube amazingly…

Review: Nightflyers (1987) and(2018)

Review: Nightflyers (1987)And (2018)

By William Pattison

This time I’m reviewing and comparing the 1987 adaptation and failed 2018 TV series of George RR Martin’s Gothic Horror/ Science Fiction story he did before working on Game of Thrones.

 

Professor hires a spaceship to get to the source of weird signals from deep space. The trip is cut short however when the ship's computer gets jealous because the captain is in love with one of the female passengers and it gets homicidal.

Yes, that is right. George RR Martin took the idea of a Gothic haunted house story and put in in space years before Event Horizon.

The film is brilliantly executed and really captures the feel of Martin’s story.

On the contrary theSYFY TV series goes totally against everything the movie does right. They triple the size of the frieghter, The NightFlyer and rather than keeping the cast of characters small so the audience can really get to know them they filled the ship with a huge crew that is mostly used for murder fodder. Most of the characters that made the original story interesting are drown out, including the psychic characters

Also, in the film and the story one of the main thrusts were therelationship between the changed sex clone of  the original captain of the ship, Royd played by Michel Pared), and the security chief of the expedition, Mirranda (played by Catherine Mary Scott). In the TV series they changed the two main characters and the villain black and the Royd (Roy Ellis in the TV series) and Miranda didn’t have the attraction of the ones in the story or movie. Shoot, they even changed all the character names in the series, except Adara.

Honestly the only good thing the TV series did was developed Royd’s “mother”, Adara. In the film she is a Gastly monster with electrical mind energy flashing over her zombie-like face. The TV Adara is far more human.

Unfortunately the TV series ends in a cliffhanger that will never be resolved. The ending makes the series an all together waste of time with nothing but plot holes.

The mivie and story end very well and complete the storylines of Royd and Miranda.

All in all the film and original story of Nightflyers are AWESOMETACULAR and the TV series is complete and utter DOGSHIT!!!

You can find the audiobook of the story and the movie on Youtube. The TV series I believe you might find on Netflix or Apple TV

Review: Dracula Eternal (2026)

Review: Dracula Eternal (2026)

By William Pattison

Oh, God, save me. This time I’m reviewing a new reinvisioning of the Bram Stoker classic novel. Oh, boy!!!

Dracula Eternal (2026)

 

Dracula Eternal: A woman's idyllic summer is shattered when her best friend falls ill, her fiance vanishes, and she's drawn into a terrifying battle against an ancient evil in this modern re-imagining of Bram Stoker's Dracula.

Oh, the pain! This is my one hundred and fifth “reimagining of Dracula. I know Bram must be turning in his grave at this point. I know that these films are going to be painful the moment I see in the description “A modern film reimagining of Bram Stoker’s classic Gothic novel.” That tells me the film is going to be complete and utter crap. Dracula stripped of the Gothic background and feel is in no way Dracula. This film is stripped of everything Gothic, fuck, it takes place in LA. Sorry, LA will work with most vampires, but not the big D man. He needs to be in Europe and he needs to be congress stand with mikeBy buying a car in Cortana it was all online got 3 plus I great terms good damn it just ******* wash your piece of *** **** it **** you *** **** itaround places that have more history than America can give.

That is why this film doesn’t work for me, besides the atrocious acting and production values. On top of that they have a plot twist that just made me twing. And, when the finally show Dracula, I wanted to puke. The guy playing him was horrible.

On top of it all they even put a cut reel, that is actually more entertaining than the film.

All in all this film is DOG SHIT!!! UGE!!! Avoid like the plague!

 

Review: Grave of the Vampire (1972)

Review: Grave of the Vampire (1972)

By William Pattison

This time I got an American dub of a Spanish classic vampire film that inspired the idea that vampires could breed with humans and create half vampire offspring…

Grave of the Vampire (1972)

 

A young man, born of a rape committed by a legendary vampire against a living woman, vows to locate and vanquish his undead father.

I remember seeing this film in my youth on Creature Features with Bob Wilkins. It interested me because it starred William Smith who played Falcon Eddie in Rich Man, Poor Man. In this film Smith played the half vampire son of the Vampire that disguised himself as a professor who specialized in the supernatural. When I was young, last time I saw this film I seven years old, I didn’t  get the rape angle of the vampire. Now, it add a new level of nastiness to the film and to this particular vampire.

Amusingly, though the one scene that stayed with me wasn’t the infamous tape scene, nor the baby drinking blood from his mom’s tit, it was the final confrontation between the vampire and his son. I remembered the vampire massacring his students at the get together and William Smith fighting him. I think thisvwas the initial inspiration for my vampire, Terrance Vance. Still obviously this film had an impact on me as a writer and the vampire genre in general. I believe it is because of this film we got all the literature and films about Day Walkers, Damphires, and the like. It made it that vampires don’t have to be strictly like Dracula, and opened the genre to all the different styles of vampires we have to this day. That said, I say this film is BLOODY AWESOMETACULAR!!!

Night of the Living Dead Remake (2026)

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Review: Night of the Living Dead (2026)

By William Pattison

This time I got the third remake of the George Romero classic that started the man eating zombie craze.

Let me make it clear that no remake will be as good as the original, but there are aspects of the remakes, well except the 2016 remake, which was a complete cluster fuck. I will speak of it no more. Still the first remake was a really good film, except turning Barbara into a tough assed bitch,  I still love the Tom Savini remake and it actually works better than the original when watching all the other Dead series movies.

What I really like about this film is they managed to add the coffee shop scene and the formation of the militia. I also like the addition of the Romero lookalike reporter “Bill”. I thought that was a real nice homage to the filmmaker and nearly added the new material to the narrative. Also I loved some of the rewriting on the Harry and his family scenes. I actually think it works a lot better than the original. Also I loved the changes to Barbara. I think they made her a stronger character without over doing it, like in the original and the Savini remake.

Now, let’s  talk about what I didn’t  like. I didn’t like them turning Ben into Ellie. What the fuck. You changed the best character into an angry tough black lady. Give me a fucking break. I nearly chocked on my coffee seven years ago when I read about this sex change. This was not nessedary. I’m fine with the actress’ performance, but I still thing Ellie is no Ben. Not because she is a woman but because he was a stronger character and her scene weren’t  even close to being as powerful of either the Ben in the original or the Savini remake. Ben was the hook for the film and without him it feels like something important is missing.

Also what the hell! The scenes with Barbara and her brother at the cemetery is missing and when she finds out he is a zombie happens in the first act? Excuse me. I don’t mind that Barbara escapes the encounter, but those were important scenes and these assholes cut them out? WRONG!!!

Also, where is the gore? This is supposed to be a Romero style zombie film. Romero zombie films are gory, meaning lots of blood, zombies eating flesh. This was cleaner than the original…

All in all this is an ok remake. The Savini remake is better as a whole, but these guys had the best Barbara of the remakes. So, if you want to see the scenes that Romero couldn’t  do? Here you go…

 

Review: FAUST (2009)

Review: Faust (2009)

By William Pattison

This time I got a film adaptàtion of an independent graphic novel about a man who sells his soul to the devil…

Artist John Jaspers sells his soul to the mysterious "M" in order to get revenge on the people who killed his girlfriend. Soon, he realizes everything has a price, and he is transformed into a horned demon with a passion for killing. He learns that M plans to release the Homunculus, a giant lizard-like monster, onto the earth, opening the gate to hell. Jaspers must stop M before he can let the apocalypse begin.

I saw this film originally twenty-four years ago on HBO.  At the time I wasn’t really thrilled with it at the time because I had seen the adaptation of SPAWN and loved the style of it, even though this film was far more gory and nasty.

This film was directed by Brian Tuzna, who also directed all the Reanimator films and the film From Beyond. It is based on a freaky independent graphic novel that came out in the 80s.

This film stars Andrew Divoff (WishMaster) as  the mysterious M and  effrey Combs ( Reanimator) as Lt Dan Margoles. Margoles is quite a change in casting for Combs, who usually play more eccentric roles. Mark Frost plays John Jasper, aka Faust, with nasty relish.

This film is most definitely a Brian Yunza production and he is literally the only horror director who could bring this story to life. This film is bloody, gory, and has a load of kinky sexual imaging in it. You get to see the female lead beaten and electrocuted by another woman in Sand M gear. Kink scenes are nothing new to Yunza, who loves to add a little in all his films and it was the perfect fit for this film.

Also, Yunza is a master at body horror and he throws a bunch of these scenes in this film just to add a little spice to the show.

Though as I said in the beginning that I didn’t like this film all those years ago. Now, I’m  blown away by how twenty years can change you opinions in some films. Even with the amusingly cringe worthy Faust demon costume (Yes, it doesn’t looked anything like the poster), I actually find this film to be everything I wanted with SPAWN but didn’t get from that film.

This film is a classic adaptation from a rare time when comics and horror would combine to create some damn good films that push the emvelope.

All in all I have to say that this film is AWESOMETACULAR!!!

 

Review: End of Oak Street (2026)

Review: End of Oak Street (2026)

By William Pattison

This time I got a Twilight Zone style tale of a neighborhood that gets switched in time to the age of dinosaurs.

Ok, people, think Stephen Spielburg and Rod Sterling made a movie together. This would more than likely be that film.

This film reminds me of the classic Twilight Zone episode, The Monsters are Due on Maple Street. It is exactly the same idea as that 1960s story, but in this case the monsters arrive.

Also, why did I mention our dear Mr Spielburg?, you ask. The music in this film and the opening is an exact Spielburg opening. Think the opening act of Poltergeist. This film opens and presents you all the characters of this film at a street carnival. You learn much about who these people are in that first act before all hell breaks lose and boy does it.

I liked how the handled the time jump. But, I found it annoying how they kept buggering on about it after. Even going so far as making a big deal over a pressure change that causes their ears to pop.

I really hated the bully scene with the big kid trying to beat up one of the main kids, by chasing him on his bike and screaming at him about how he broke his brother’s arm. We end up later in the middle of the dinosaur situation revisiting this crap like the bully could give a shit that they were dealing with blood thirsty dinosaurs.

In this film unfortunately you mostly see Trexes and Veloso Rapters, much like Jurassic Park. You do see a couple of Brontosauruses (Yes, I said DRONTOSAURUSES, not Drekiosaurses…I want a Bronto Burger, like Fred Flinstone, not a Bracio Burger..Fuck that!!!).

All the actors did a wonderful job trying to escape the dinos, mostly Raptors who were going from house to house having an all you can eat human buffet.

Also, I loved that the filmmakers went for a happy Spielburg ending to the film rather than a negative Rod Sterling ending.

All in all I have to say this film is JURASICTACULAR!!!

Review: Killer Whale (2029)

Review: Killer Whale (2026)

By William Pattison

This time I’m reviewing a film about a psychotic Orca and two ladies trapped on a rock..Oh boy…

Killer Whale (2026)

Maddie, a cellist haunted by the tragic death of a friend and her resulting hearing loss, travels to Thailand with her best friend Trish to heal from the trauma. However, their retreat turns into a fight for survival when they become trapped in a secluded lagoon and hunted by an aggressive orca. Isolated in a hostile environment, Maddie must push her survival instincts to the limit as she faces not only the relentless attacks of the apex predator, but also a devastating betrayal.

Ok, this film is the only killer Orca film I’ve  seen since I saw the classic horror film from 1977, Orca. Yes, it’s  been that long since I’ve  seen a film about a killer Orca. The thing is when people think killer ocean predator the always think sharks. For most people orcas are those large whales they see do tricks at Sea World. But Orcas are a major predator species that take out seals and even on occasion great white sharks. Also, extremely rarely do these intelligent mamels ever attack humans, but it does happen.

 I was hoping this film was going to be the film to show that aspect of Orcas, but unfortunately it appears the filmmakers looked at over used shark tropes and simply whrote in whale instead of shark. Seriously, the Orca in this film acts more like a shark than an orca. But what can you expect from filmmakers looking for an easy answer.

Shit, the CGI whale shots look facky as hell. Supposedly the whale is swimming Under the water but the  water doesn’t look affected by the whale.

Also, another serious issue with this film is a lack of suspense. Things happen, but they just happen. We needed a Sheriff Brody moment where you feel the moment. It’s  a film about a psycho whale for fucks sake!!!

I was amused that the main push of this film was actually an incident toward the beginning of the film that literally destroys the main character’s life. Yes, rather than focusing on the killer whale that is out to get them the two ladies on the rock in the middle of the isolated lagoon are dealing with personal issues related to their relationship and the death of their male friend, and I’m not talking about the guy who became Free Willy chow at the lagoon.

I have to give kudos to Virginia Gardner, who plays Maddie, and Mel jarner, who plays Trish. Bother of these ladies have their in all, even with this freaky assed script. This film royally needed a rewrite. You had a whale that didn’t bact like like a whale and people who make wonkie decisions. I mean, give me a break. You are trapped on a rock in the middle of a lagoon out in nowhere with a phsycho whale after you and you are going to talk about personal problems? PHSYCO WHALE!!! For fucks sake!!!

So, did I enjoy this film? I have mixed feelings about it. I hated the movie, but I felt for Maddie.

How did it compare to Orca? Give me a break. Orca was a freaky film too. It was about a whale getting revenge on the humans that killed its baby. In this film the mentioned this whale had a miscarriage. I’m sure that was the filmmakers showing they knew about Orca.

So, my answer is Orca is worlds better than this film. I’m borobably forget this film exists in a couple days. Nope, it’s gone.

My suggestion is go find Orca and watch it and forget this waste of money and time.

 

Review:Obsession (2026)

Review: Obssession (2025)

By William Pattison

This time I got a freaky film from Blumhouse about a guy who wants his crush to love and he ends up getting his wish in horrifying spades…

After breaking the mysterious "One Wish Willow" to win his crush's heart, a hopeless romantic finds himself getting exactly what he asked for but soon discovers that some desires come at a dark, sinister price.

Now let me start by saying that Blumehouse has come out with a lot of freaky shit over the years, but this one take the prize for freakyness.

This film takes the dream of finding a love spell and twists it into insanity. I’ve  seen many takes on this theme before…The episode of Buffy where Zandor tried to put a live spell on Cordillia and ends up having every woman in town obsessively lusting after him including Buffy and her mother. But that must bow to this film.

This film doesn’t  have the look nor feel of a Blumehouse film. For one thing this film has no humor in it. Also this color scheme and music feels more like something from the 80s or early 90s. This film gets royally dark and nasty.

I have to give a great amoount of acalades to Andi Navarette, who gives a psychotically freaky performance of a girl cursed with the love spell from hell. This girl deserves an award for the how truly scary she was. She was royally the obsessed, clinging, girlfriend of nightmares.

Also I have to give cudos to  Michael  Johnston as Bear, the Romeo who made a big boo boo…a serious one.

This film takes the idea of the crazy girlfriend and puts it on acid. I was constantly going, “You’re not going that way..” and guess what?

I can honestly say this film is the nastiest film to come out of Blumehouse period.

This film is a must see, I can say no more than that…

 

Review: They will Kill You (2026)

Review: They Will Kill You (2026)

By William Pattison

This time I’m reviewing a film about a tough assed Black woman who must fight emortal Satan worshipers to save her younger sister…

Ten years earlier, a bullet through the chest separated tight-knit sisters Asia and Maria Reaves. But the days in jail fly by when all you have is undying revenge to keep you going. Now, a pitiless avenger has set foot in The Virgil, an impregnable New York City den of Satanists, and forgiveness is not her style. All she wants is to have her family back. However, the intruder is way out of her league; inside the nine-story neo-Gothic building, an army of Hell's disciples would rather die again and again than fail their master. And before tonight's black mass, they will kill her. When so much more is at stake than just losing your life, what is the point in fighting a losing battle?

What do you get when you combine Ready or Not with John Wick and a touch of Kill Bill? I would say it would be very close to this freaky film.

You may think you know what you are going to get with this film, but you don’t . This film is a blood and gore fest that runs at high speed. It is the type of film that could be confusing or just look comical. Surprisingly it doesn’t . It also could easily have turned monotonous, but it isn’t .

This film completely and utterly kept my interest.

Azzie Beets does an amazing and exhausting job playing Asia, the crazy black lady who must fight her way through an army of immortal bloodthirsty Satanists. This poor actress worked for her pay doing this role. It was non stop and she was on screen from beginning to end in this film.

Also the FX worked really good, especially the dead pig that was possessed by Satan. Those FX blew me away.

This film was tornado of action from start to finish.

All in all, I got to tell you that this film is AWESOMETACULAR and is a film you don’t want to miss…

 

 

Review: The Bride! (2026)

Review: The Bride! (2026)

By William Pattison

Ok, this time I’ve finally got a chance to see the remake of the 80s horror film The Bride.

Chicago, 1936. Bearing the scars of defiance on his freakishly strong body,The Frankenstein Monster feels tired of dodging bullets and escaping the mob. Now, the man on the run is desperate for connection and a soulmate to share the burden of existence. And the brilliant Dr Euphronius must deliver, like it or not. After all, the blasphemous goal may sound impossible, but it has happened before. However, as Ida steps into the picture, doubts emerge: Undoubtedly, she is beautiful in her own strange way, but is she what Frankie wants? Born dead in a dangerous world, two stowaways of life who cheated death have one shot at making it work. But what if Ida is nobody's bride?

Ok, this remake is worlds different from the original 80s film.

This film is very much written by a feminist and pushing that agenda. The most evident part is the way the ghost of Mary Shelley is presented in this film. This version of the author is a fowl mouthed feminist construction pushing the feminist agenda rather than presenting a more honest representation.

Given the beginning of the film I was actually pleasantly surprised that I actually enjoyed this film. But besides the warped feminist Mary Shelly, the director actually had a scene at a night club that looked more modern than correct to the 1930s time period. These aspects of the film along with getting “The Message” and social polital propaganda was annoying and kind of took me out of the story. I would have rather they keep the story in the correct time period rather than poluting it with modern images or ideas.

Still, I did find myself getting into the story and feeling for Frank and his bride. I thought Essie Buckley  did a wonderful job as The Bride, aka Ida. As well Christian Bale  did an equally good job as Frankenstein’s Monster.

All in all I thought this remake was ok, but I personally thought it didn’t  live up to The Bride of Frankenstein nor the 80s film, The Bride. This film was marred with modern social political bullshit. Still, it is still watchable and I will recommend this film for Horror fans…

 

Review: Imaginary (2026)

Review: Imaginary (2024)

By William Pattison

This time I’m reviewing a film about a demonic teddy bear…

When Jessica moves back into her childhood home with her family, her youngest stepdaughter, Alice, finds a stuffed bear named Chauncey. As Alice's behavior becomes more and more concerning, Jessica intervenes only to realize that Chauncey is much more than the stuffed toy bear she believed him to be.

Ok, people, I had been waiting to see this film after I saw the trailer two years ago.So I was so happy when I found it available on Tubi TV. Of course, then I watched this…

Ok, let’s  start the pain. Both the trailer and the poster make this look like the bear itself was going to be the big a big deal in the film, like Teddy Anabelle. Nope. The fucking bear is barely in it. Things happen but the bamn bear just sits there looking cute and cuddly. The fucking thing has a music box in it that plays a sickly sweet tune. Come on people. I want a demonic scare bear nut fluffy the boring demon bear. The thing doesn’t  even move or make faces. At the end they have a horrible, and not in the good way, monster bear at a distance down a hall, but that is it. SHIT!!!

Then the little girl in this film is a HORRIBLE actress. When she cries in the film you immediately cringe and shout out fake. Also the girl acts like she is trying to remember lines…Oh, God, save me.

Worse yet this film was made during the WOKE epidemic and it royally suffers from it. You got a white, English, dad with two white daughters and a black stepmother. The black step mother gets most of the scenes. Oh, and the demon resurrects the girls dead mother and I swear they purposely hired a woman who looks exactly like the evil stepmother from Snow White. This woman was scary.

And on top of all this most of this film is boring and annoying. It is only during the last twenty minutes that this film actually get interesting, when the little girl gets stole by the demon and stepmother and sister has to go into the teddy bear’s world to save the annoying little girl. This is were we get freaky stuff and Fluffy the CGI monster bear. This part was somewhat entertaining, but reminded me of something from a Freddy Krueger movie…so ALREDDY SEEN THAT!!! So, not placidated…YOU LOSE!!!

To put it simply, this film was a lot of promise and no delivery. So you know my answer to if I recommend this film??? Fuck no!!!

Review: Mortal Combat 2 (2026)

Review: Mortal Combat 2(2026)

By William Pattison

This time I got a review of the sequel to the lacking remake of the original Mortal Combat movie. May the pain begin…

Kitana struggles beneath Shao Kahn's control as Earthrealm's defenders prepare for a deadly tournament that threatens multiple realms. Lord Raiden and Sonya Blade gather fighters including Liu Kang, Cole Young, and Johnny Cage to challenge Outworld's growing power. As alliances shift and ancient forces return, the champions face overwhelming enemies, dangerous magic, and personal conflicts that test their loyalty. The battle for Earthrealm becomes a fight between freedom and domination, with warriors forced to discover what they are willing to sacrifice.

Though I have to say this film is better than the sequel to the original Mortal Combat movie, Mortal Combat Apocalyse. That film was a horrifying mess and was an insult to the original. This film is just boring and the fighting sucks.

The the only person in this film that stands out and is worth watching is Carl Urban as Johnney Cage. Urban is wasted in this film. He gives his all but this film doesn’t  have the juice. He is the best Johnney Cage in any of the films, unfortunately.

The original had some of the best martial arts action on film, but this film barely has a pulse. It tries but fails. I was dozing off watching this shit, and I’m  a huge Mortal Combat fan.

So, with that said, I need to close the lid on the coffin. In my humble opinion as a reviewer of over twenty-five years and a fan of Mortal Combat I say that this film is DOG SHIT. Better than the original sequel to Mortal Combat, but still DOGSHIT!!!!

 

 

Review: Disclosure Day (2026)

Review: Disclosure Day (2026)

By William Pattison

This time I got the latest film by Stephen Spielburg and what I consider a sequel to Close Encounters…

A weather news anchor begins experiencing strange behaviors and discovers she can suddenly speak various dialects--including what appears to be an alien language. At the same time, a mysterious man with an unknown past comes into possession of stolen government evidence proving the existence of extraterrestrial life and is determined to make it public. For reasons neither fully understands, the two are drawn together. If they can navigate government agents, suspicious spouses, and others trying to stop them, they may reveal a truth that could change humanity forever.

Well, it’s  finally happened, Stephen Speilburg has done a sequel to Close Encounters of the Third Kind, even though he won’t admit it.

The reason he doesn’t admit it is because there are no direct references to Close Encounter. In fact this film deals with the victims of life long alien abductions and the stories of the non- government agency of the modern UFO, Oh, how stupid of me. I mean UAP culture. But, Stephen being a sneaky bastard put in one subtle reference that screams, THIS IS A CLOSE RNCOUNTERS SEQUEL!!!! I’ll  reveil it later..

This is a wonderful harken back to the good ole days of the 80s but with a dash of the modern. Shit, Stephen even dragged John Williams out of the old files home in his wheelchair and got him to do the music for this “Not Close Encounters Sequel.”

This film is not shy on the action and even has a scene where the “non-government” agency tries to kill the two main characters.

Emiley Blunt does an outstanding job as Margaret, one of the chosen ones. This poor girl had a lot on her plate because she had the entire film on her sholders and she had to learn to deliver lines in multiple languages, including alien.

In fact everyone in this film did outstanding jobs, including the background people. But of course this is a Stephen Spielburg film, it’s  expected.

Now, to the proof that this is actual undeniable PROOF that this is the sequel to Close Encounters. In a flashback, when Margaret goes to the reconstruction of her family home, she relives her first abduction. During it she sings a song to calm herself. Guess what song?  The Jimmeny Cricket song from Pinochio. The same song Richard Dreifus had the music box of in CLOSE ENCOÚNTERS. The fucking music they played at the end of the movie!!!

So, is this a good sequel to Close Encounters? Fuck yeah. I loved it. It gave me the tingles and brought me back to a world free of WOKE and The Message. It reminded me of a time when Spielburg and Lucas were the Titans of Hollywood and summer movies were truly magical. It is a time I sorely miss and mourn.

So, what is my rating? What the fuck you think???

EIGHtIES AWESOMETACULAR!!!!

 

 

Review: The Mandalorian and Grogu (2026)

Review: Star Wars: The Mandalorian and Grogu (2026)

By William Pattison

Ok, people I finally saw The Mando movie and I’m reviewing it. I know you are creaming your shorts in anticipation of it.

Star Wars: The Mandalorian and Grogu (2026)

 

Once a lone bounty hunter, Mandalorian Din Djarin and his apprentice Grogu embark on an exciting new Star Wars adventure.

Ok, yes, I’m royally late to the game. The film failed in the box office and the future of The Mandalorian franchise is in question.

Well, to hell with you. I’m going to have my say…

Personally I loved this film. It was what I wanted from a Mando film. I want to see Mando and Grogu going on adventures and claiming bounties. Fuck the big picture or being epic. I want to have fun and watch Mando kick either Imperial ass or crime syndicate ass. We got both in this film. Shit, we saw Mando go against the Huts and we met Jaba’s son, who doesn’t  want to be a gangster. We even got to see Jaba’S son fight in a blood sports and fight another Hut. I didn’t  know Huts could kick ass.

Shit, we saw Mando fight more Critters an in any season of his show.

We saw Mando get a new, practically brand new Wave Rider. I love that ship and have missed it.

Shit,Man, we got Samuel L Jackson back in Star Wars, of only in voice.

And we saw the Huts fight XWings..come on!!!

This film was kick assed…Yes, it wasn’t  a big picture Star Wars movie. Yes the main Star Wars universe can visit The Mandoverse, but Mando isn’t  bound to it. He has is own story and focus that has little to do with the bigger Star Wars story line. Mando is the lone stranger or Lone Wolf and Cub. He does his thing. I like that I have always Liked Mando and Grogu. The problem with the show was then he brought all the other Mandalorians into the mix.Mando is at this best when it is just him and his baby Yoda…fuck you, you called him that for the longest time..

Anyway, if you are not an obsessive Star Wars fan, you might get a couple of hours enjoyment in the universe Lucas started. For me I thing this film is MANDOTACULAR!!!

Review: The Obyssy (2026)

Review: The Odyssey (2026)

By William Pattison

This time I got the lastest film adaptation of Homer’s The Odyssey…

 

After the Trojan War, Odysseus faces a dangerous voyage back to Ithaca, meeting creatures like the Cyclops Polyphemus, Sirens, and Calypso along the way.

This is an outstanding adaptation of Homer’s epic story. Christopher Nolan shows himself once again as an artist. The production quality is right up there wit Openhymer. Nolan uses natural illumination, meaning candle and fire light so the indoor scenes have heavy shadows and present a near art noir feel to the scenes. Also, the the scenes in the cave of the Cyclops it makes the action harder to see but also causes the viewer to use their imaginations more. Also with the sound FX it makes the scenes that much more cringe. Nolan knows how to used sound to it’s full ada antage. This even extends to Obysius’s scene where he reclaims his throne. The sound in those scenes are just as brutal as the visuals. You hear bones crack and flesh rip. The visual FX are the best of any adaption of this story.

Matt Damon, Anne Hathaway, and Tom Holand are stunning as Odyssius and his family.

The only thing that annoyed me is that because of the WOKE rules still on the books, in order to be able to have his film in The Oscars Nolan had to turn all the the people in Troy black especially Helen of Troy. This bullshit sticks out in this film like a sore thumb, but I forgive Nolan for this annoying compromise in order to give this work a chance for accolades. I just wish these awards would stop being based on bullshit politics and be about the quality of the work itself.

Still, even with this smear on it Christopher Nolan’s The Odyssey is AWESOMETACULAR!!!

 

Review: Spiderman A Brave New Day (2026)

Review: SPiderman: Brave New Day (2026)

By William Pattison

 

Four years have passed since the events of No Way Home, and Peter is now an adult living entirely alone, having voluntarily erased himself from the lives and memories of those he loves. Crime-fighting in a New York that no longer knows his name, he's devoted himself entirely to protecting his city - a full-time Spider-Man - but as the demands on him intensify, the pressure sparks a surprising physical evolution that threatens his existence, even as a strange new pattern of crimes gives rise to one of the most powerful threats he has ever faced.

This time I’m reviewing the fourth film in the Tom Holland Spiderman film series.

Four years have passed since the events of No Way Home, and Peter is now an adult living entirely alone, having voluntarily erased himself from the lives and memories of those he loves. Crime-fighting in a New York that no longer knows his name, he's devoted himself entirely to protecting his city - a full-time Spider-Man - but as the demands on him intensify, the pressure sparks a surprising physical evolution that threatens his existence, even as a strange new pattern of crimes gives rise to one of the most powerful threats he has ever faced.

I have to say that once again Mavel Studios has done it again. Infact I think this film is the best so far because all the actors are comfortable in their roles and the world around them is familiar and works with them.

Tom Holland gives one hundred percent as Peter Parker. Also Zendaya returns as Peters love interest MJ. Also, fan favoriteJacob Batalon as Peter’s best bud Ned. As well we haveJon Bernthal  as Frank Castle, The Punisher, Avenger’s Alumni Mark Ruffalo  as Bruce Banner and Sadie Sink  as the new face of Jean Gray Sallie Sink adds a real creapiness to Jean Gray because she literally looks like a living Anabelle doll in this movie.

The best part of this film is not only that it is a Dare Devil and X Men crossover, but also this film reestablished the friendly neighborhood Spiderman we all enjoy. The movie literally starts with a number of Spiderman fights with a bunch of his villains including main villain Scorpian.

The fans love this version of Spiderman and this series just gets better and better, unlike a lot of Marvel studio films as of late. With that said once again I say this film is AWESOMETACULAR!!!!!

Review: CHUM (2026)

Review: Chum (2026)

By William Pattison

This time I got a morality tail about an obsessed man who is out for revenge on a Great White shark and uses a wedding party as bait for the beast.

A newlywed couple joins friends on a Mediterranean yacht excursion, only to find themselves caught between a predatory shark and a psychopathic killer in their midst-transforming a sun-drenched escape into a fight for survival.

This film is a real Moby Dick type of story, except substitute a shark for the Great White Whale.

 Jim Block does an acceptable job as the obsessive sea captain who is out to kill the Great White shark who ate his wife. Captain Roy is no Captain Ahab, but he is still a very scary guy.

Lice Eve does a good job as the disenchanted new bride, Tina. Tina is a woman who must choose between her new promotion and being married to her new husband because she is on the opposite side of his beliefs about the environment…oh and there is also the fact that if Captain Roy has his way she will be bait. Tina is amusingly the perfect opponent for both Roy and the shark.

This is an ok low budget shark film. It tends to use the same shark footage for the kills, which makes the shark action a bit monotonous. There is plenty of action, tension, and blood in this film, so you won’t  be bored.Don’t expect a serial killer version of Jaws, trying to go that never works. Though on paper this film could be described as such. I consider this as a low budget Shark Moby Dick and I’m  happy with that. Don’t  get me wrong, this is not a great film. It is what it is and I will recommend this film to those of you fans that love Shark Attack 3. If not watch Jaws or Jaws 2 instead.

 

 

 

 

 

Review:Scream 7 (2026)

Review: Scream 7 (2026)

By William Pattison

This time I got the seventh film in the Scream franchise. The question is can they make a halfway decent film after all this time, or is this franchise losing steam like so many have?

When a new Ghostface killer emerges in the town where Sidney Prescott has built a new life, her darkest fears are realized as her daughter becomes the next target.

Well, this film begins like all Scream films do. This time a group of fans of STAB go to The Sydney Prescott Experience attraction. The attraction is a recreation of the Prescott house from the STAB movies complete with police tape, wall posters, and outlines of dead bodies. It also includes a high tech animatronic Ghostface.

While the fans are enjoying the attraction the “real” Ghostface, if there is even one, switches out the dummy and ends up brutally killing the fans. Though this opening has little to do with the plot, we are introduced to how brutally and fast this Ghostface is.

Then we are re-inteoduced to Sydney Prescott-Evens and her daughter, Tatum, who was named after her best friend who died in the original Ghostface murders.

Also, back, obviously, is author Gale Weathers played as always byCourtney Cox. And, surprisingly Mathew Lillard as Stu Macher as a possible Ghostface, even though he supposedly has been dead thirty years.

Now, as I mentioned the Ghostface is amazingly physical and real fast in this film. He is in fact rather scary for being someone in a Party Central costume. Also this Ghostface is into AI and other high tech tricks, which helps keep him fresh.

As for the production and plot Sydney’s  family, especially her daughter are targets for Ghostface, as well as all of Tatum’s friends and her boyfriend.

There is still all the gabber about horror movies and modern times that are iconic to this franchise.

So, we come to the answer to the question is this film good and is Scream still ivable? I found this installment ok. It isn’t  as good as part six to me, but it isn’t  bad. I enjoyed it. I loved the Ghostface in this film, though I found the reveil a bit disappointing, but that is nothing unusual.

All in all this film is an acceptable addition to the Scream franchise and I readily recommend it.

 

Review:Death of Robin Hood (2026)

Review: The Death of Robin Hood (2026)

By William Pattison

This time I got a historically accurate adaption of the ending of the legend of Robin Hood…

 

Grappling with his past after a life of crime and murder, Robin Hood finds himself gravely injured after a battle he thought would be his last. In the hands of a mysterious woman, he is offered a chance at salvation.

I found this film interesting, but I found this Robin Hood to be a fucking blood thirsty asshole, which is the point of the film. Bravo, the production did its job. This isn’t the film Robin and Marian from the 70s.vThis is a dark and gritty and historically accurate  retelling of the last month of Robin Hood’s life, or to be accurate one of the six men who took on the persons of the hooded man. In this case it was he Robin Hood whose real name was Laurance of Gloskow, the last living one.

Hugh Jackman does a great job making Robin Hood into a blood thirsty killer who steals and kills both the rich and the poor, even children. They even have a scene in the film where Robin kills a little girl because of her bloodline. Yes this is not the version of Robin Hood that you know. In this movie the legend we know exists but the real man, well this man, is nothing like the legend. The Merry men are gone. In this version means a bunch of murdering theives. Little John dies at the beginning and according to Robin Will Scarlett doesn’t exist, or does he? More importantly no Maid Marian (she is supposed to have poisoned him out of mercy in thebut it got worse original tstory, but there there is the  head priory nun to fill that space.

Also, Robin pulls a SHANE with Little John’s daughter.

So, I think you get an idea of how this film is. The first half of the film is nothing but blood and murder. The other half is drama and emotion. Surprisingly I enjoyed the second half. The first part just pissed me off because I’m  a huge Robin Hood fan. But still in the end I found this a very interesting film. I understand what they were doing with this film and feel they did a good job reconstructing the time period free of the sugar coating. Therefore I will recommend this film…

Just remember this isn’t by our mother’s Robin Hood…

Keep on Creepin’, 

Lee Cronin's The Mummy (2026)

Review: Lee Cronin’s The Mummy (2026)

By William Pattison

This time I got a demon possession movie that is pretending to be a mummy movie…

 

Eight years after her sudden disappearance in Egypt, a severely traumatized teenager is returned to her shattered family in New Mexico, triggering a visceral nightmare as they realize she is hosting an ancient, demonic parasite.

Ok, let’s get started…Yes, mummification happens in this movie and some of it happens in Egypt, but this film is no way a proper mummy movie. Shit, even that fucked up Tom Cruise Mummy movie is a proper mummy movie. This film isn’t a mummy movie.

This movie is your standard demon stuck in a body film. Be it an ancient Egyptian demon don’t  mean shit.

Now with this said I’m  not saying it’s  not a good film. It is just false advertising titling this film The Mummy. Egyptian crypt, mummy wrappings with ancient Egyptian writing on them don’t  make this film a mummy movie. The same with some people speaking Egyptian or a ritual chanted in Egyptian. Nope, not a mummy movie. But, of course, Lee Cronin knew this. Lee Cronin wanted to get people in to see his/ or her movie. I doubt the director could find a title that would get anyone to their movie. Titling it after the demon won’t work, because no one knows this demon at all. I’m  not even sure it is a real Egyptian demon.

The film is well made and scary. Shit, it is about a carniverous demon that loves to destroy families. It is basically the Egyptian Devil, that has been bound by a single family for centuries. Yep, these people steal children and jam this demon in them and lock them in a crypt to rot and suffer till the demon uses the poor kid up. Then do it again. ... Yeah, so my point.

This film is a creepy kid movie, and damned if it is. This kid is fucking scary and things get brutal. It is well worth the price of admission, unless you are expecting a mummy movie. I bet Lee Cronin is friends with that asshole that gave us a Wolfman movie that wasn’t a wolfman movie. Come on, people, stop playing games and give us what you promised!! We are not amused.

Technically this movie is great. It is atmospheric. It has good acting. It is scary as shit. It just plain is not as promoted and that is wrong. Still as an honest and wonderful reviewer I can’t give a negative review on a film that is actually entertaining, even if it is not a mummy movie. So, just to make it clear, it is not a mummy movie, but I’m still recommending it. Happy?

 

Review: Evil Dead Burn (2026)

Review: Evil Dead Burn (2026)

By William Pattison

This time I got the latest film in the Evil Dead franchise…

 

After the loss of her husband, a woman seeks solace with her in-laws. As one by one they transform into deadites, she comes to discover that the vows she took in life - survive even in death.

His film is the best and most brutal of this film franchise.Director Sebastien Vanicek adds some of the old style sadistic humour along with a flood of butchered arms and other body parts as the family gets possessed by Kandarian demons and rip each other apart.

But this time the demons have a goal. The family is connected to one of the researchers that played the infamous tape of the translation of The Necronomicon Ex Mortus. Nope. This time they are looking for the one item that can permanently kill a Kandarian demon while in a human body, the Kandarian Daggar. The family has this weapon hidden in their house somewhere. The demons want the Daggar so that their kind can spread through the world unstoppable.

Unfortunately The Necronomicon is missing. It is mentioned quite a bit but the book doesn’t appear in this film,which is unique.

Now the family home is a warzone and loved ones are now out to brutally destroy each other.

Souheila Yacoub plays Alice, who is in the position that Ash Williams once had as demon butt kicker. Souheila does a good job but she lacks the over the top performance that actor Bruce Campbell provided. Still she does a good job and in fact I cringed at the pounding this poor girl had to endure.

The rest of the family, which is in fact Alice’s dead, and abusive, husband’s family. Hubby died in an auto accident and got possessed and burned when his car impacted the woman who was possessed at the end of Evil Dead Rise, who stood in the middle of the road waiting for him. Yes, the one that came out of the water and was floating in the air at the beginning and end of Rise. Yes, we actually got continuity…yeah.

I have to say this film has the best demon action of the series. The demons in this film are fast and don’t give a shit about looking pretty, when they are on you they are committed and nasty. There are actually very few demon monologues, these deadites are all action this time and they are taking sadistic pleasure in every moment.

All in all all I can  say is if you are a long time Evil Dead fan you will not be disappointed. I have to say this film is AWESOMTACULAR, even without our dear, wonderful, Bruce champbell swinging the chainsaw!!!

 

 

Review: Project Hail Mary (2026)

Review: Project hail Mary

By William Pattison

Well this time I have the extreme pleasure of reviewing a film adaptation of the second book that the author who wrote the iconic Cyber Punk novel Necromancer did.

Now I have to tell you that this film is in league of science fiction as 2001 A Space Oddascy , The Marcian, and, of course Silent Running. In fact this film really reminds me of silent Running, which shars the fact the Bruce Dern spends most of the film alone. But the difference is the main character Dr Ryland Grace, played by Ryan Gosling, is trying to save the world because our sun is dying along with a bunch of other. Grace is also joined by an alien rock creature who is on a similar mission for his people.

The real set piece in this film is Gosling’s performance which is eccentric while being emotion. He connects with the audience right away and you instantly care about him. Also, the fact that Gosling must play against a alien rock creature puppet makes his performance even more astounding. It readily reminds me of Bruce Derns performance. This is not easy, people.

Production wise this film is outstanding. The sets and FX really scream this is a special film that is one on a million.

I really can’t  say much more except if you like good honest sci Fi like the films I mentioned before you will adore this film. This film compared to you everyday sci Fi film is the difference between a cube steak and a prime rib. It is worlds apart for most of the stuff out there. And I have to say this film is AWESOMTACULAR.

Ibthing Bruce Dern would love this film…

Though I’m  saddened to say this incredible example of truly great science fiction is being ignored by all the science fiction awards as well as the academy. This is because the genre of both science fiction and fantasy has been polluted by social political elements. So, because the story was written by a heterosexual white man and the production has no LGPBQ actors in it and has no racial characters in main roles, except an Asian guy for two minutes. So, this means because of new rules for the awards this film is not eligible, which is total bullshit. I fucking hate this crap. Give me a fucking break. You can quote me on this, because a great film is being denied it’s accolaid because of social political bullshit.

 ..

 

Review: Spirits (1985)

Review: Spirit (1985)

By William Pattison

This time I got a demon house film staring Eric Estrata. Do I need to say more?

This film is bad and it is a sad reminder of how low the career of a former star of Chips can go.

This film also stars Brinke Stevens and former Count Yorga and Count Yorga Returns star Robert Quarry. Quarry couldn’t save this film. If anything it is sad what happened to the man who nearly dethrowned Vincent Price as the King of American International Pictures.

From a rather lack luster script to when the ultimate evil is revealed it is a guy in a cheap skull mask with laughable FX to give him glowing eyes.

This film is an example of how not to do a demonically haunted house movie.

Even after fifty years between viewings I still consider this film DOG SHIT. This is far from a film I cherished watching. Still, it is not even close to the trauma indusing nightmare that was Stephen King’s  Dreamcatcher. Yep, this turd is better than that.

You want to prove me wrong? This film is  on Tubi TV. If you like pain, enjoy…

Review: The Deep Dark (2023)

Review: The Deep Dark (2023)

By William Pattison 

This time I’m pushing my comfort level with a subtitled  French horror film about miners encountering a monster while trying to takes samples deep in a mine…

Miners are forced to take a professor underground with them, to take samples for his measurements. After a landslide prevents them from going back up, they discover a crypt from another time, unknowingly waking up a bloodthirsty creature.

I’m going to start out by saying that I hate watching subtitled films. I know some people love watching films in there original language. That is not me. Give me a bubble version any day and usually Tubi TV usually have those available. Unfortunately in this case it didn’t so I grabbed my glasses and tried to read the dialogue. I failed. With my eye issues and the fact I had to watch this film on my phone they were a blurry mess. I gave up very quickly, which was annoying because this film was heavy on dialogue. Thank you Tubi for not providing a dub…bastards!. So without access to dialogue I wasn’t able to really connect with the characters or even know their names. They were all just generic miners.

Then, to make it worse, the filmmaker decided to film all the scenes in the mine by solely head lamps. Yes this did give the scene an uncomfortable claustrophobic feel, but now I had a lack of visuals to go with the lack of being able to read the dialogue.

Now, here comes the best part of the film. After an endless slog the monster arrives finally. I loved how the handled the creature. This thing was black and though it was bipedal it didn’t  look human. The sound the creature makes in the film sounds like tree branches breaking. It was cool and the filmmaker was brilliant in how little you actually saw of it. Mostly you saw flashes of the creature and saw a head lamp fail and hear bones crunching.

This was the best part of the film for me, which wasn’t much. The monster shows up only in the last  twenty minutes. But, holding the monster off so long gave it weight in the film because the rest of the film, even including the tunnel caving in was just plain boring without real access to the dialogue.

All in all I’m  not happy and feel cheated by this film. It had potential to be entertaining, but it was a slog and out of ninety minutes only the last twenty minutes have a minimal bit of value. Unless you love subtitles I can’t recommend this film. I lost seventy-five percent of the film because someone at Tubi or the production company decided not to include a dubbed edition. Such a fucking waste of time…

As stated you can find this film on Tubi TV…

 

Review: I, Madman (1989)

Review: I, Madman (1989)

By William Pattison

This time I got a freaky slasher/noir film that delves into the thin line between reality and fantasy…

Virginia works at a used book store. She's really into horror novels and discovers a really good book. It's called "I, Madman" and it's about an insane doctor who cuts off people's noses, ears, and hair and puts them on his face to please a girl he likes. Only Virginia discovers that the book is nonfiction, and every time she picks up the book to read it, she sees him. The insane doctor from the book has escaped the book into our reality.

This is a very excentric film that is brilliant because of it it’s  oddness.

Though this film was made in the 80s, it harken back to films of the 50s and even has a scene that is pure Hitchcock. Also, it is at times classic noir, right down to the music.

Randel Williams plays the part of the killer while also being the guy who created all the makeup FX for the film, much like Lon Chaney Sr did with the films he was in. How this happened was that the person the director hired to play the killer backed out at the last minute. Williams knew the script by heart, and was a very creepy person anyway. So he was offered the part and he happily took on the double duty. He actually became the standout in the film, well, next to the stop motion hyena boy. William’s voice and gestures add a lot to the character.

Jenny Wright is the perfect choice for actress/book fan Virginia. She adds just enough vulnerability and quirkiness to make the audience actually care about her fate. The only weakness I find in her storyline is that it is her boyfriend who is the lead detective, played by Clayton Rohner, investigating the murders. In the real world he would have to bow out because of his relationship with his lead witness. But this is I, Madman and it runs by its own rules.

Also, we come to the most freakiest decision of this freakshow of a movie, The Hyena Boy. This is one of the most freaky and unrealic part of the film. This thing is called the Hyena Boy, but it doesn’t look like a boy or a hyena or even a high red of  each. This gray skinned thing looks sort of like a monkey, dog mix. It doesn’t help the sound department used monkey squeels. Any other film this “thing” would be a disaster, but in this film it’s  charming.

This film is very unique and is a creature of it’s  own. It is a film I’ve gone back to over a hundred times because each time I find some new newance or little thing that adds to the oddity that is this film. And, it is this aspect that makes this film AWESOMETACULAR!!!

 

Review: Subspecies 5: Bloodrise (2023)

Review: Subspecies 5: Bloodrise (2023)

By William Pattison

This time I’m reviewing the latest Subspecies prequel that tells the story of how Radu becomes a vampire…

Stolen by crusaders on the night of his birth, he has no knowledge of his bloodline: his mother is a demon; his father is a vampire. Trained and exploited by a brotherhood of mystic monks to slay all enemies of the church, fate brings him back one night to the castle of his father, armed with the monster-slaying Sword of Laertes, to destroy the vampire Vladislas and reclaim a holy relic: The Bloodstone. The events of that night turn Radu from a noble man into a vampire with no master, setting him on a centuries-long quest for sustenance, and companionship, for the treacherous one who stole him from the sun, and for the Bloodstone he hopes will bring him peace. Spanning 500 years in the life of the vampire Radu Vladislas, this long-anticipated prequel to the Subspecies series chronicles Radu's descent from a noble warrior for the Church to a depraved creature of the night.

Ted Nicolaou spent twenty-five years craft this film and it shows. Cinematography, FX, and scripting shows how dedicated Nicolaou and crew was dedicated to this film.

This film is blessed by the fact that for a film on a Full Moon budget and shooting schedule that this film is actually stunningly visual. Most of the shots come off with wonderful use of browns and yellows, which are not usual for vampire films. Most horror films use a lot of blues, grays, reds, and blacks. They also heavily use shadows. Thought this film still have dark scenes Nicolaou doesn’t depend on them for atmosphere. In fact the last time Nicolaou used this kind of pallet was in The Vampire Journals. But of course he would because this film is not only a prequel to Subspecies, but also The Vampire Journals as well, much like Subspecies 4 was a crossover with The Vampire Journals.

This film not only gives us the backstory of Radu, but also The Vampire Ash from Vampire Journals.

Now I’m  not saying this is a perfect film. There were a few things, mostly casting, that bugged me. The most annoying was the casting ofevin Spirtas as King Vladaslas. The main problem is the Kevin is no Angus Scrim. Also the makupthey slopped on Spirtas was not in anyway the King Vladaslas we knew from the original Subspecies. It looked like a bad  Nosferatu cosplay from a horror convention. Also, how many times does Radu have to kill his dad? In this film he killed him twice. I guess third or fourth time is a charm..lol.

Another thing that bugged me was Radu himself. Through most of the film he reminds me more of Angus Scrim than Radu. I was happy when in the second half of the film Radu was a bit more like the blood slobbering Radu the fans love. But still after twenty-five years Anders Hove has kind of lost Radu. The voice and the manerisms are a bit off. Still he wasn’t  as bad as he was in Subspecies four. I had to keep telling myself this isn’t  Radu Vladislas, this is Jake Vladislas…lol.

Also, I wish they had been able to bring the original Ash in this film, because the new guy doesn’t say Ash, or even young Ash to me. I’m  sorry there is only one Ash to me. No other actor can be The Vampire Ash.

Ok, I gave you the bad, but now I bring you a sample of what I really loved about this film. The new Bloodstone looked enough like the original to be acceptable. The Bloodstone in Subspecies 4 was a cheap assed piece of crap.

Now I have to praise Nicolaou for putting Denise Duff in the role of Helena. All I can say is brilliant. It was wonderful to see Denice after all these years (remember 25 years have passed). The way Ted connect Helena, the Queen  of the Bucarest vampires to Michelle is nothing less than brilliant…And it explains why Radu was so set on making her his immortal companion.

Ok, all in all this film is one of the best Full Moon films to come out in over a decade. Also, it is Ted Nicolaou’s masterpiece and shows he is a far better direct than most horror fans think. And to pull this brilliance off on a Full Moon budget and film scedual just proved Ted’s brilliance.

Can I recommend this film?, you ask. Fuck yes I can! When I say this film is the best Full Moon has created I’m  serious.

Check this film out yourself! It is currently on Tubi TV.

Now, let there be a bloodbath!!!

 

Review: Subspecies 4: Blood Storm (1998)

Review: Blood Storm ;Subspecies 4 (1998)

By William pattison

This time I have the the fourth and what was supposed to be the final film in the series at the time.

I did not like this installment of the series as much as the earlier three films, even though it was a crossover to Ted Nicolaou’s The Vampire Journals.

One of the main problems was that this film was done after Full Moon and Parmount’s distribution agreement had ended and Full Moon was having to drastically cut the budgets of it’s films. Also, because of budget cuts the FX and makeup budgets were butchered. It is the main reason the Subspecies doesn’t appear, because the had no budget for the stop motion for the little minions. It can also be seen in the makeup work for Radu. In this film Radu no longer slobbers blood because the had todudget the use of fake blood. Also he doesn’t  have his custom teeth. In fact all the vampires look to be stuck sharing vampire teeth. As well budgetary restrictions also was the reason why all Michelle’s associates and her sister died at the beginning of the film. Only the character of Marrin survived, but he was only saved by being made into a vampire. Oh, and best of all they had a very cheap looking Bloodstone in this film. Supposedly the original Bloodstone had gotten lost between films so they had to make a replacement one. This one looks like a fan made model of it. It is too big and just plain looks wrong. Amusingly a few years ago Full Moon out out a Bloodstone model and this one is the right size and looks amazingly like the original from the original three film. What a joke.

Johnathon Morris is back as the music loving vampire  from Vampire Journal,Ash. But this time we find out that  Radu is his master. Also that Radu has claim to everything he has built. Also we have Mihai Dinvale back from Vampire Journal as  the vampire trying to cure himself but remain immortal Doctor Blood.

The best addition to the cast is Floriela Grappini as  Ash’s apprentice Seriena.

All in all even though this is not the best of the Subspecies series I found it entertaining. And if you are a completeist you won’t  was to miss the conclusion of the story of Michelle and Radu.

You can watch this film for free on Fawesome…