Review: Goth (2023)

Review: Goth 2023

By  William Pattison 

This time I’m reviewing a film about a demonic Goth trying to corrupt two Goth teens…

 Chrissy and her boyfriend BOONE are two Gothic teenagers living in L.A. who have seen and done it all. As the sun goes down, they get ready for a hardcore concert at the local club. The night takes a gruesome turn when they run into a savage, darkly beautiful woman with a taste for pain and sexual deviance. She represents the darkest, most depraved end of this subculture; for her, it's not just superficial costumes and makeup but a way of life that thrives on murder and madness. Promising new thrills and experiences, she takes Chrissy and Boone on a wild, terrifying ride that progresses from drug-fueled orgies to random acts of violence, leaving a trail of mutilated victims in their wake.

Unfortunately I wasn’t really impressed with this film. Besides the music and makeup this film didn’t scream Goth to me.

Phoebe Dollar was ok as Goth. She seemed to me more bitchie than scary. All through the film she would make threats but never really do anything. She spends the film bullying the Goth couple to have sex with other  I’mpeople. Then toward the end she tries to push Christy to commit murder to prove herself a true Goth based on Goth’s rules of being Goth.

Laurie Reilly plays Chrissy, who all of a sudden believes that Goth was the person who killed her sister. So, because she wants to prove that Goth is her sister’s killer she plays Goth’s game and ends up losing herself in the end.

Dave Stan plays Boone, who Goth bullies into having rough sex with a woman while Christie watches. I wasn’t  impressed by this character. He seemed rather wimpy. I felt he was manipulated too easily.

All in all I wasn’t  pleased, with the story or the acting in this film. It felt more like someone’s manipulation fantasy with a Goth covering. I definitely don’t recommend this film…

Review: Crossover: Immortal Sin (2023)

Review: Crossover: Immortal Sin (2023)

By William Pattison

This time I’m reviewing a pilot for a TV series that didn’t make it past the pilot featuring immortals…

Abducted and tormented by a pair of immortals, David is forced to watch his girlfriend die, while confronting the horror that he's not quite human (or mortal) himself.

I find it amusing how many times I watch movies on Tubi TV just to find out that the film I’m watching is a failed pilot for a TV series. The film I’m reviewing is one of those failed pilot.

I find this a shame because I found this pilot very interesting, especially how these immortals maintain their immortality. Unfortunately I can’t  tell you about the process, because that would be a spoiler and I try not to do that. All I can say is I’ve never seen this before. So, I guess you are going to check out this film to find out…Sorry about that, not…

I really enjoy the ongoing conflict between two of the main immortals, David and Harry (played by Daniel Karp and Robert Norman.

The pilot focused on Rachel who is a hybrid immortal and related to David who unknowingly going to go through her first crossover and become a full immortal. Rachel is unaware of her true origins or her legacy.

I have to say that this pilot had a very complex storyline and was well made. It would have been a series to rival The Originals. Sad. The only thing I really didn’t enjoy was the music track. The music in this pilot was too chipper and positive for a story about drama between clans of immortal. Seriously the music made me think about Martha Stewart more than immortals.

But all in all I will recommend this list pilot if for anything for the crossover scenes. It was actually brilliant. Such a waste…

If you want to see this pilot it is currently on Tubi TV. As I said it is well worth checking out…

 

 

Review: The Audition (2026)

Review: The Audition (2026)

By William Pattison

This time I have a low budget Canadian remake

Of a notorious Korean film. Oh boy!!!

In the wake of his wife's death, widowed filmmaker Noah becomes consumed by grief. With the subtle influence of his friend Darius, Noah meets Miya, a young woman who unknowingly becomes the focus of his obsession. As Noah's fixation deepens, what begins as a quiet connection spirals into a nightmarish descent of manipulation and terror. The Audition is a gripping horror tale of obsession, grief, and the chilling consequences of unchecked desire.

This film is a remake of the iconic Korean torture film Audition. This film goes by the plot of the Korean film exactly. Infact many of the shots in this film are fram by frame duplicates. The only real issue with this film is for a remake this film is horribly lacking teeth. When the film is supposed to get brutal and nasty there is nothing. All the torture scares are done with extreme reaction shots of the actor’s faces with some amusingly bad sound fx. Yep, that is right! No penintration seen. No pins in flesh. Nothing. And the leading man”s pained screams sound fake as shit. It was very Canadian. It was made for wimpy Canadian sensitivities. Shit, they blew…or I should say failed to blow the notorious blowjob scene.

Emma Trans fails to even come close to the performance of the original frail little Korean lady that tortured the shit out of her leading man in Audition. This poser didn’t even break a sweat in comparison. She was wimpy as shit. The leather dress was an insult to the original on her.

Also Joseph Finfer was lack luster as torture victim Noah. The Korean guy in the original wasn’t a great actor, but at least he played the part with a heart beat. In fact, besides the shadowladen creepy ballet  teacher the only good performance was by Michael Mazza who played Noah’associate Darius Sims.

All in all this film was a weak, spineless, remake of a brutal disturbing film. If you want to see a good film go out and find a copy of Audition and be ready to cringe and be disturbed. Leave this Canadian bacon toothless failure where it belongs, in the nearest trashben…

 

Review: The House on Haunted Hill:Nighthawk Manor (2026)

Review: House on Haunted Hill: Nighthawk Manor (2026)

By William Pattison

This time I get a sequel that is only that in name…

 

Drawn by a cryptic invitation, a group of friends travel to a remote, windswept island-only to discover they've walked straight into a nightmare. At the heart of the island stands a decaying chateau, hiding a centuries-old curse tied to bloodlines, betrayal, and something far more sinister lurking beneath the surrounding dark waters. What begins as a mystery quickly turns into a fight for survival as the group is picked off one by one by an unseen supernatural force. Cut off from the outside world, paranoia spreads, alliances fracture, and the island itself seems determined to trap them forever. As the truth behind the curse begins to surface, it becomes clear: escape is not enough. To survive, they must confront the island's violent past and break its hold-before it drags them all into the darkness for good.

Originally titled as Nighthawer Manor, this film has no relation to the classic film nor the Dark Castle sequel. This is one of those amusing films that taken on a famous film’s title to grab some extra bucks fooling ignorant horror fans into checking out the film…

What you got with this film is a standard haunted house film, complete with built in mystery. There is nothing really wrong with this film, it is actually very entertaining, just that it has nothing to do with House on Haunted Hill.

The acting and writing is good and the plot is interesting. But the film brass didn’t  feel this film could make it without adding a famous name onto it. It is such a waste of potential, because this film actually had some. The fact that this is a sequel in name only  annoys me royally because I feel you give the fans what you promised. Duck and switch sequelling is just plain wrong. It is an insult to the fans who were actually wanted to see a new House on Haunted Hill sequel. Oh well…

All in all, though I like the film I cannot support it because it wasn’t  as promised…

..

Review: Bury the Bride (2023)

Review: Bury the Bride (2023)

By William Pattison

L.

This time I got a cool vampire movie, which puts batchlorettes against the blood sucking fiends…

Bride-to-be June's bachelorette getaway turns deadly when her bloodthirsty  David, and his friends show up to crash the party and have June’s friends as party snacks.

Initially I didn’t know this was a vampire film, but after I found out I was thrilled.  Never even knew this film existed. In this film they actually kept the fact that the to be groom and his friends were vanpires for a good portion of the film. That way you get to know the characters and then show their true faces. That gives this film a lot of respect because most modern vampire films can’t keep the secret long enough to make an impact.

I really loved June and the batchorettes because the felt like a group of close girlfriend. Also, the vampires came off as nasty rednecks as well as nasty brutal vampire. The only thing that didn’t  ring true is that June would even consider anyone like David to marry.

The atmosphere is great. I loved the fact that the  bachelorette part was at a nasty location with a smell and a dead animal in the hot tube.

Also, the way they handled the vampires were great. It wasn’t reinventing the wheel, like most of these films try to do, but it was bloody, nasty, tense. Good stuff. I could see myself including this film with From Dusk Till Dawn or Sinners.

All in all this film is a bloody good time for modern vampire film fans

Review: The Creeps (1997)

Review; The Creeps (1997)

By William Pattison

This time I got a horror comedy by Charles Band featuring mini classic monsters…

Mad scientist brings Dracula, the Wolfman, the Mummy, and Frankenstein's Monster to life... but there's a problem and they end up three feet tall.

This film is an amusing romp with some of our favorite classic monsters.

This film is typical Full Moon fare. It is done like a live action comic book. It has the right amount of humor and the right amount of intense scenes, but not too intense. There are a couple nude scenes so be ready to cover the little ones eyes if you need to.

 Bill moiahan plays the stammering and stuttering mad scientist who has made a machine that can pull iconic characters from books. Bill does a fantastic job.

I loved the three foot tall monsters. Iconic actor Phil Fontacarlo is the standout as Dracula. Phil doesn’t play the Count with a cheap Bella Lagosi immatation, he makes the character his own. His monologues are wonderful with his deep, powerful voice. This is one of my favorite performances by Phil.

The only monster that was a complete miss for me was The Wolfman. He didn’t  look anything like a wolf, more like a demon, and there was way too much drool.

The FX were the typical Full Moon style. They may not cost millions of dollars but they work for the film.

All and all this is just a fun film for Horror fans who love classic monsters. It’s  not overly scary but there is a couple nude scenes, so keep the little ones at arms length to cover their eyes if necessary. But this for me is a must watch that I highly recommend.

Review: Infinity Pool (2023)

Review; Infinity Pool (2023)

By William Pattison

This time I have a Cronenberg-like freaky movie about a Hotel on an island where criminals get a clone to die for them…

While staying at an isolated island resort, James (Alexander Skarsgård) and Em (Cleopatra Coleman) are enjoying a perfect vacation of pristine beaches, exceptional staff, and soaking up the sun. But guided by the seductive and mysterious Gabi (Mia Goth), they venture outside the resort grounds and find themselves in a culture filled with violence, hedonism, and untold horror.

When I went into this film I expected something totally different. I had no idea I was in store for a film that looks like something David Cronenberg would do. I’m  not kidding you, this film is full of material that would put a smile on David’s face.

Let’s  just talk about the resort hotel that is in the center of the action. The filmmakers make it awesome but there seems to be something off about it. You can feel it as you watch. It’s  subtle but it is there. It is the same with every location, something is just off. Could be the freaky masks guest wear…But after all they are available in the gift shop. Can’t  miss out on that…

The soundtrack enhance the feeling of offness. It is full of screeching note and a thumping base. It is disturbing and appropriate.

Then of course you have the voilance. It is brutal, sick, and disturbing.

And then on top of that is the most Cronenberg mark on the film, the clones. The main aspect of this film it is about a law enforcement agency that clones criminals in order for the original to watch their own death. But there is another group that takes pleasure in making clones and using them experience their own sick murder fantasies.

The stand out in the cast, but because she is annoying, is Mia Goth.

I love Mia in other films, but in this she has a royally screaming voice and she is way over the top. Not a Goth I like at all.

All and all, there are things I like about this film and a bunch of things I don’t  like. I’m  not going to say to check out this film, unless you like really bad Cronenberg, even though David didn’t  do this film…

Review: Dark, Lovely, and Deep (2023)

Review: Lovely,Dark, and Deep (2023)

By William Pattison

Lovely, Dark, and Deep (2023)

This time I got a freaky National Park horror movie…

Lennon, a new back-country ranger, travels alone through the dangerous wilderness, hoping to uncover the origins of a tragedy that has haunted her since she was a child.

When most people think about National parks they think of bears and other animals as well as trees, campfires and fun But for those of us in the know there is a dark side to National parks. People see freaky things, experience freaky things, and  thesome disappear without a trace. Finally there is a feature film on this subject.

This film actually delivers. It is amazingly shot and makes the forest itself a character, a royally psychotic character.

Gergina Campbell play Ranger Lennon, who finds herself in a nightmare world Where people she knows are dark nasty.  She must escape this world deep inside a National park before she is murdered or goes insane herself. Champbell does an outstanding performance. She actually steals the show.

This film is also full of scenes and Fx that will absolutely amaze you.

The one thing that rreally makes this film truly interesting is that the film really doesn’t  explain who or what “ They” are or really what their motive is. I think this really sells the film for me,because not knowing is scarier.

Allin all I can heartily say that this film entertained me and if you like dark, freaky films as much as I do you’ll  find this film FREAKTACULAR!!!

Review; Review: Demon Squad: Tooth and Bone (2026)

Review: Demon Squad: Tooth and Claw (2026)

By William Pattison

This time I got a film that is like a mix of Ghostbusters and Night breed…

When a string of brutal killings are linked to a werewolf, paranormal investigator Nick Moon goes on the hunt. Battling supernatural forces, he uncovers a dark conspiracy that must be stopped before the monster strikes again.

The city of Mobile is over run with creatures of the night and Nick Moon and Moon Inc, Aka Demon Squad is a group of monster hunters who try to keep the peace between monsters and humans.

Rostian Flumer is great as the pork pie fedora wearing mage Nick Moon. Also one of the headliners in this film isErin Lilley as empath Daisey O reilley. As well is Victoria Antonelli as Chari Divine.

The monster costumes in this film are excellent, including a bunch of original style demons, were wolves, and Dogmen.

The plot and script is complex and amazingly ambitious for such a low budget film.

The only weakness in this film is the music. At times the film’s music score feels it was meant for a far higher budget film, while at other times this music comes off cheap and doesn’t work with the visuals. The love theme seems horribly out of place. In fact the music track takes away from the film. It just doesn’t belong connected to this film. The main theme feels more it something for the series The Librarians, than for this film.

But even with its flawes, this is definitely a film I can recommend.

Review: The Demon Detective (2025)

Review: The Demon Detective (2025)

By William Pattison

This week I got a demon fighter film that is as good as Constantine…

Miles Mako is a professional exorcist who takes on a new client after she encounters a demonic presence who may have links to the detective's dark past.

This is an excellent film that will definitely remind you of the adventures of John Constantine. In this story the Hell lazer is Miles Marco. Along with his Asian mage Pin, he fights the demons of Hell who come to Earth to corrupt and destroy human lives.

Í have to say this is the type of story I love to do. This could easily be a film version of my supernatural detective Decline Darck. This film was really jiving with me.

Technically this film is a wonderfully made medium budget demon film. The demon make up is well done and the FX did not look cheap. The story is one that will thrill fans of this subgenre of horror.

Dustyn Gullage is fantastic as Demon fighter Miles Marco. Michelle Torian is also excellent as the demon harassed woman, Mya, that Miles must protect. Another wonderful performance is usgene Young as Miles’ over worked assistant and mage Pin. Also we ge performances by the iconic Adriane Barbeaue As Abby and the incredible Doug Jones as the vengeful demon Uzrgoth,

All in all I highly recommend this film. If you like the classic dark Vertigo comics, especially Hellblazer you will truly love this film..

You can currently find it on Tubi TV.

Review: Tales of Frankenstein (2018)

Review: Tales of Frankenstein

By William Pattison

Well, this week I only got one film,  it’s a retro film that are adaptations of an anthology book on Frankenstein.

Tales of Frankenstein (2018)

 

Donald F. Glut

 

Based upon four of writer-director Donald F. Glut's short stories published in his book TALES OF FRANKENSTEIN: "My Creation, My Beloved" (a deformed descendant of Victor Frankenstein creates the perfect man and woman), "Crawler from the Grave" (another Frankenstein descendant's disembodied, plague-infected arm returns from the grave for revenge), "Madhouse of Death" (a private detective winds up in an old dark house filled with loonies...and a gorilla) and "Dr. Karnstein's Creation" (a mad doctor creates a monster in vampire-haunted Transylvania - with gruesomely unexpected results)…

This film is a wonderful retro style film that has the feeling of the classic Universal films. The acting, sets, and costuming is spot on. The only issue that I have is it was shot in color. So, instead of looking classic gothic it ends up feeling more like a 60s film trying to look gothic. It’s  really sad because the stories are wonderful. My two favorite ones are the detective story and the curse story about a cursed ring and Dr. frankenstein’s arm. It’s  not saying that the love story or the story that included vampires weren’t good. They just weren’t as good, which is on par with most anthology films.

So you can be assured that this film has my seal of approval and thus it is RETROTACULAR!!!

Profile: Robert Horror Bob Masters

Profile: Robert Horror Bob Masters

So for the assholes who don’t believe that Robert Masters ever existed and have been trying to bury his legacy, here is the story of a simple video store owner who was an innovator and a businessman who did things his own way.

I met Robert Ean Masters in 1986 when I was taking an afternoon movie criticism class at The College of San Mateo. Robert had just opened his store, Video Universe, in San Francisco.

He was able to attend the class because it was at 10 am on Wednesday and Video Universe opened at noon everyday except on Sunday when it opened at 1 pm.

Robert ran a very unique video store. His story only stocked horror, science fiction, fantasy, and mystery films. Later he would amusingly add horror themed porno films, like A Nightmare on Porn Street, Trampires, and all the Devil and Miss Jones films.

Robert actually took a cue from some Canadian video dealers and built onto the video store The Horror Bob Theater. For $20 each people could rent the theater and could watch two rented videos right there. Robert would also offer popcorn, canned drinks, and candy. The theater seated ten people, but with folding chairs, which he had available seating could be extended to twenty people.

The theater was popular with people who didn’t  have a VHS, Beta, or video disc player, because Robert had all three available. Towards the end he would a DVD player as well.

The theater was also popular with video clubs and independent movie groups.

As well it was when the original version of Horror Bob’s Blog was created. The Blog started out as a free newsletter that Robert would print and have available at the cash register. Unfortunately all my copies of the original blogs were burned up in my house fire

It wasn’t  all fun at the store though. Like a lot of businesses in the City, Robert’s video store was próne to being robbed. During one very nasty Robery Robert was shot and one of the things that were stole was an original poster from James Whales Frankenstein that he got from the Golden Gate Theatre. This really upset my mother who had been a nightly customer at the Golden Gate when the film had its premiere there. My mother had been having me try to convince Robert to sell her the poster if he ever wanted to sell it. Unfortunately the poster was never recovered.

In 1998 Robert decided to expand Horror Bob’s Blog to the internet. He found a French/American Blog site, Overblog and with my help we built his first blog site there. The hits on the site were fantastic. The only issue was you had to hit a translation program because all the text on the site was in French and the program would glitch qúite a lot. It was very annoying.

In 2005 I started my own blog on the website Blogger, William Pattison /Eric Morse Raw, and talked to Robert and The Wolf Pack, who were now involved, about creating a second Horror Bob’s Blog on Blogger so we could eventually disgard Overblog. Robert had started his Facebook page and was excited about expanding the blog.

Unfortunately, so after Robert had what turned into fatal health issues, His hearing started to fail him, so he ended up using hearing aids. Then his sight started to go. He had surgery that failed with one eye, so he was partially blind. Then Robert had a massive stroke and he had to end up selling off his video store because he could only use the left side of his body. He was stuck using an electric wheelchair. All this happened in a matter of two years…

After his stroke The Wolf Pack and I started to help Robert continue on the internet. During this time Robert continued to do movie reviews as well as did a couple interviews. But, but unfortunately in February of 2015 Robert died from a héart attack known as a widow maker.

 Luckily he had been smart enough to put my name and The Wolf Pack as the persons to take over all his internet identity.

So, since then I, William Pattison have been keeping Robert’s legacy alive. Since his death I have expanded Horror Bob’s Blog all over the Internet. You can find links, profiles, and pages for Horror Bob’s Blog on Facebook, Blogger, Overblog, MeWe, Slasher,Threads, Instagram, X, Tumbler, and Bluesky. You can also find links on groups like MadamCadaver’s Video Reviews,  Horror Nerdz, and Collectors, Slash Tracks Network, The Eric Morse Army, Assholes of Horror, Bay Area Horror Grouo, The Nerds Group, Cranky’s Place, Horrorland, and  Horror Video Group on MeWe William Pattison’s Bloodbath Theatre, and Bloodbath Beyond Podcast page.

Robert died at the age of 78 and left his wife and daughter, who I cannot name because a certain group of asshole immature cyberstalkers harassed both her and her daughter, so they now are only able to come on the internet using fake names.

The reason I’m  writing this is clear. The horror community is trying to bury Robert and everything he achieved. I won’t  allow this. Robert was a bear friend. He was like family. He was an honored member of The Wolf Pack. These assholes are trying to say Horror Bob was Joe Bob Grigs or Bob Wilkins, or twenty other Bob’s. Fuck you assholes!!! FUCK YOU BITCHES!!!! Robert Masters is Horror Bob. His legacy is a love of Horror and this fandom, even though some of you fucks don’t deserve it.

I was actually so hurt the last few days that I thought about closing the blog for a while…but guess what, Fuck you, I’m  going to once again double down and continue the blog just to shit in the faces of those trying to bury Robert. Horror Bob will keep going as long as I have breath on my lungs. Keep on Creepin’ , assholes…Horror Bob Forever!!!

 Also, if you happen to have any of the print copies of Robert’ s newsletter he made at Video Universe I would really like to have a couple since mine got burned up (Note to funny people out there, the current logo I made for Robert for the internet blog. The printed newsletter logo is totally different. So don’t print up an internet review and try to trick me…)

review: Tales From the Crypt: Ritual (2002)

Review: Tales From the Crypt Presents: Ritual (2002)

By William Pattison

This time I have a review of the only Tales From the Crypt film to be done by Dímension and RKO pictures…

Dr. Alice Dodgson (Jennifer Gray) gets her medical license revoked after the death of a patient. She's facing the possibility of not getting any job when she accepts to be the nurse for one young man who suffers of cephalitis named Wesley Claybourne (Daniel Lapaine). Aside from the sickness from which he's suffering, Wesley believes he has been "touched" by some voodoo cult. While she stays in Jamaica, Dr. Dodgson will feel uncomfortable as she discovers that voodoo is not only a "state of mind", and could be a real threat to her life and Wesley's. She'll have to discover why she and her patient are targets of the voodoo curse.

Ten years after I Universal released and killed the sequel to it’s  incredibly popular Tales From the Crypt film, Demon Knight, Bordello of Blood, they lost the rights to the franchise and Dimension took over and did their usual cut and paste job they did with the Hellraiser, The Prophesy, and Children of the Corn franchises with this film.

Ritual is not a Tales From the Crypt story in that it is not a comic book style story. It is a very typical Voodoo zombie film and Dimension thought that would be enough. They figured they could simply paste on a CryptKeeper intro and that would be enough to make it a Tales From the Crypt film. They were wrong. Ritual is not a bad film at all. It is very much in line with Voodoo zombie films like Serpent and the Rainbow but this story is missing the aspects that a Tales From the Crypt stories need to fit in the series. It is missing the whole comic book aspect. The Cryptkeeper always shows a comic book coverage and introduced the title of the story. This doesn’t  happen with Ritual. You simply have Cryptkeeper state that he is in Jameca for the shooting of his next feature film, that’s it. Then the title appears in a very non Tales From the Crypt way before starting the story. Then after the film credits they tack on very fake outtakes of Cryptkeeper messing up on his intro and making jokes. Sorry, people, not enough.

 Now I do have to say that Jennifer Gray does a wonderful job as the doctor who comes to Jameca to care for a man who thinks he’s a zombie. So, does Creig Sheffer, who plays the guy’s brother who has sketchy motives for keeping his brother alive. Tim Curry is wasted playing the part of the family friend.

Though Ritual is an ok Voodoo zombie film it is in no way even close to being a true Tales from the Crypt. Thankfully Dimension gave up on doing anymore of these. Pasting on the Cryptkeeper doesn’t make it Tales From the Crypt. Maybe next time these idiots will get the idea…

Review: Crusificion (2017)

Review: The Crucification (2017)

By William Pattison

This time I have an exorcism try hriller that is supposedly based on true events…

Nicole Rawlins, an American journalist with a complicated relationship to Catholicism, travels to Romania to report on the criminal trial of a priest accused of killing a nun during an exorcism ritual. What begins as skeptical inquiry shifts when Nicole encounters Father Anton and starts experiencing visions she cannot rationalize. The story lives in that uneasy middle space between investigative procedural and supernatural horror, pulling Nicole toward belief she has spent years resisting while something unseen appears to be pulling back.

Ok, I just finished watching this movie and thought it was a very entertaining  demon exorcism film. Do I believe the thing about it being based on actual events? I doubt it. Was a nune crucified on a cross burning an exorcism by members of the Roman Catholic church? All I can say is freaky shit happens with those people. Do I think a female journalist went to Rome and had a bunch of demonic shit happen…Naw, but it makes a good horror movie.

I think the filmmakers were doing a standard story about faith and a person who either had none or lost their faith getting some during a drive by demonic forces…Actually standard fare for the demon/exorcism genre of horror.

When it comes to the truth of saying it is based on real events that is at the most ten percent true at the most. It is just the studio trying to sell DVDs. It’s mostly stardatdized fiction. Nothing more. Do the research and see if I’m  right about this.

Now, if you are a fan of this subgenre of horror you will love it. It’s got all the demon goodness fans love in these films, so you will definitely enjoy it..

Review: Grettle and Hansel (2020)

Review: Grettle and Hansel (2020)

By William Pattison

This time I have a feminist reimaging of a famous Grim fairytale…

 

Siblings, Gretel and Hansel live in the countryside with their mother. When times are hard and Gretel can’t find work, their mother sends them out to fend for themselves. As they journey through the dark forest without clothes nor supplies, they come upon a house with good-smelling food, and decide to temporarily stay there in care of an old woman. As they recover from fatigue, they uncover odd things which might prevent them from getting out alive.

 I know what some of you assholes are going to say…This film was directed by Osgood Perkins, who is obviously a man so it can’t  be a feminist film. My answer to this is obviously you haven’t  heard of male feminists. Yes, there are males that are so up the female asses they practically have vaginas themselves. Osgood Perkins I. Most definitely one of these beings.

But unlike so many filmmakers during this period during the WOKE era Osgood did preach “The Message”. There was a tiny bit of WOKE content but it quickly got over and done with and the story could continue.

I was so thankful that this male feminist still showed some respect for the sibling relationship, which was the center of this story. It could have easily deteriorated into super female/bad male situation.

Thankfully we got Grettle as the big sister protecting her dependent little brother who she loved very much. It came off very real and very honest.

The late great Alice Krige was awesome as the witch. She could have easily been miss used but she came out as one of the high marks of this film.

Yes, when I saw the change in the story title I cringed and was unsure of this film. But Osgood and crew did a great job. I actually have to say that this film is definitely AWESOMETACULAR!!!

 

 

Review; Innocent Blood (1992)

Review: Innocent Blood (1992)

By William Pattison

This time I got a review about a film about vampires and gangsters…

Marie has two appetites, sex and blood. Her career as a vampire is going along fine until two problems come up, she is interrupted while feeding on Sal (The Shark) Macelli and she begins to develop a relationship with the policeman who has been trying to put Sal away. Sal wakes up in the morgue very confused and very thirsty. He goes back to his old haunts and begins to create an organized crime family of vampires while Marie and her policeman lover hunt him.

 

What do you get when you combine the legendary John Landis with vampires and gangsters…? You get an amazing horror love letter to all the classic crime films and a vampire film like no other.

This film is loaded with actors who made their careers playing playing Mafia guys.

Robert Loggia plays the big boss Sal The Shark, who becomes the mob boss from Hell when he gets turned into a member of the undead.

Comedian Don Rickles plays the mob lawyer who ends up getting turned into a vampire and given the most brutal and disturbing ending in the film.

Actress Anne Parillaud plays the hungry and sex starved vampire Marie. Parillaud’s skinny frame makes her the perfect casting for the desperate vampire out for an Italian meal.

Anthony Lapaglia plays Joe Gennare,an undercover police officer who becomes Marie’s new love interest.

One of the most interesting aspects of the vampires in this film is their eyes that glow. One of the most interesting scenes in the film is where Marie is having sex with Joe. Her eyes glow and change colors with her increasing excitement.

It was actually the one of a kind vampire eye fx that made this film so unique. I never saw another film featuring eye FX like the ones in this film. It was one of the reasons that this film stuck in my mind.

The sad thing about this film is that for the longest time you couldn’t  find it anywhere. After I saw this film in the theatre over thirty years ago it just plain vanished. I had spent years looking for a copy with no luck. Then a few years ago I found it on amusingly Tubi TV. It was a happy day for me, and now a happy day for you because you can now get the pleasure of seeing this wonderful vampire film. With all my heart I can say that this film is AWESOMETACULAR!!!!!

Review: Miss Wilorghby and the Haunted Bookstore (2019)

Review: Miss Willorghby and the Haunted Book Shop (2021)

By William Pattiso

This time I got an amusing paranormal mystery..

Tragically orphaned at a young age, Elizabeth Willoughby inherited her impressive family estate and was raised by retired US Marine, Robert. Under his watchful guidance, her childhood was spent studying strategy, history and literature, all the while mastering the ancient arts of combat. Now an Ancient Civilization professor at University, Willoughby receives a call from family friends, Helen and Oliver Deakins, who have been experiencing a series of hauntings at their antique bookshop. With nobody else to turn to, and knowing Willoughby's insatiable appetite for investigation, Helen asks Willoughby to get to the bottom of this paranormal mystery.

Don’t expect any jump scares, blood, or even cool makeup fx in this film. I’m  a big fan of British style mysteries and that is what this film is. It is a charming mystery movie with interesting characters and an interesting sleuth, this time being Elizabeth “Lizzy” Willoghby.

Lizzy is played to perfection by actress Nathalie Cox and joined by Kelsey Grammar as her guardian Robert Whindgate. Together Cox and Grammar are excellently paired as the sleuth and her “Watson”.

As far as the mystery itself, it is nothing much. It is actually very predictable. I. Fact the ghost in the story really doesn’t  make much of an impression.  Also, the haunted bookshop is only in a couple of scenes. So, don’t  expect any scares. This film isn’t  a horror film, even though it is in the horror section of Fawesome.

When it comes down to it this film is very character forward and mystery is really in the background. It is more about seeing Miss Willoghby doing her thing and just enjoying the characters.

Personally, I would love to see Lizzy and Robert come back for another adventure or even a series of mysteries. This movie was a fun ride.

So, with all this said, get yourself a pot of English tea, some Bangers and Mash, and an English Trifle and sit back and enjoy the show. I know I did…

Review Vivarium (2019)

Review: Vivarium (2019)

By William Pattison

This time I got a film that would put a smile on Rod Sterling’s face…

Aspiring to acquire their dream home, Gemma, a primary school teacher, and her boyfriend, Tom, follow Martin, a creepy real estate agent, to the idyllic suburban development called Yonder. But there, surrounded by identical, picture-perfect houses, the young couple is in for a big surprise--and it is not about the suspiciously affordable price of the pastel-coloured, eerily vacant house. Is house #9, indeed, the ideal home?

This is an incredibly freaky film. The filmmakers found, or might have built one of the most disturbingly plain house in a plain housing project in film history.this place is pleasantville on acid. And even more creepy is there is not a living soul who lives there…well except for the main characters and one of the most creepy creepy kids I’ve  experienced in film with a screech that puts the kid from The Barbadook to shame.

Basically this film is a nilistic representation of the boredom, monotony, and tedium of living in an urban existence, but in a horror and psychological way. It is literally the circle of human life in modern times viewed in an otherworldly manner. It is a show burn for the most part, so don’t  expect monsters or any jump scares. This is a beast of a different type from what most horror fans are used to.

 Jesse Eisenberg and Imogen Poots play Tom and Gemma, the unfortunate couple stuck in the *perfect* community from hell. Also Senan Jennings plays the creepiest creepy boy I’ve  ever seen, and I’ve seen a lot. Also  Eanna Hardwick plays the older boy this son of Satan grows into.

This film is really a work that could have been part of The Twilight zone. It hits heavily in the psychological and gives you clues to what is going on but infact never actually tells you. You literally come out of this film wondering if it was aliens or what the hell was happening. But I can tell you that the ride is enough and you can figure it out in your own head cannon. B

For me it was a trip well taken and one I will happily recommend…

 

 

Review: Neon Maniacs (1987)

Review: Neon Maniacs (1987)

By William Pattison

All right we end our series of iconic films that were made in San Mateo and San Francisco Counties with a film that barely managed to get finished.

Yes, I’m talking about  that amusing monster mash Neon Maniacs.

This film has an awesome concept. It is about a bunch of cool individual monsters and killers from another reality that come to this world to hunt and slaughter. Sounds great. But unfortunately you end up with money picking asshole producers and you get this sad abused piece of cult horror. So, much potential but destroyed by the studio..

This production was riddled with issues that nearly caused the film to not be finished. First off there were originally supposed to be twenty five of the title creatures but the producers ended up having to cut the number of creatures in half due to financial issues. Also one of the maniac actors quit because the production started to cost cut and changed the contracts of the actors. The production found a replacement for the actor but because the makeup and costume department had to rework the character to fit the new actor a bunch of the members of both departments got cut to make up the money. Eventually the incompentant producers cut so much of the production budget they had to cut a lot of the origin scenes for the monsters as well as cut out a lot of the major kill scenes. In the end the film that ended up being produced bore no resemblance to the original script what the filmmaker intended. The entire origin of the Maniacs were cut down to a voice over monologue and a guy finding a bag with Maniac trading cards with the rough hint that the individual creatures came from the cards themselves, even though later thestory has something about a bus and a hinted portal. Anyway, as you can guess this film is a bit of a mess. The creatures are cool and it would have been great if someone had put out Neon Maniac action figures, with the trading cards of course. But as a film this piece of San Francisco film history has a shitload of issues.

His film is a prime example of how fucked up it is to work with producers who don’t understand film production.

Viewers are lucky they managed to get anything near to a coherent film in the end. The scenes they managed to shoot had potential but the film is so Frankensteined together it is loaded with scenes that go against others and are  full of missing info and plot holes. No good.

In many scenes you see the actors struggling with their performances.Yet somehow with everything wrong with this film it is amazingly entertaining in spite of itself. It’s  an interesting hot mess with cool monsters and in the end by some magical bit does the job. What more can I say???

Review: The Video Dead (1987)

Review: The Video Dead  (1987)

For our second iconic horror film that was made in San Mateo and San Francisco counties is one of the most unique zombie films you will ever find…

The writer Henry Jordan receives a mysterious TV set and soon he learns that the apparatus is a gateway through which undead come to the world of the living. They kill Henry and the house is sold to another family. The teenager Zoe Blair comes to house to clean it for her parents that are traveling abroad. Her brother Jeff Blair comes later to help Zoe and finds the TV set in the basement. He brings to his room and out of the blue, the stranger Joshua Daniels knocks on the door. Joshua explains that he sent a TV set mistakenly to that address, instead of to the Department of Occult Warfare. Jeff does not believe in Joshua, but soon he leans the truth about the TV of the undead.

The zombies in The Video Dead are different from any other zombies in film. These are not exactly real zombies. They are characters brought to life and set loose our would through a cursed TV set. These zombies only kill people if they show fear. Also, like anything that comes out of the cursed TV they are afraid of mirrors because when they look into one they can see their lack of a soul. Also, únlike your usual zombie these are highly intelligent and can use tools and weapons to kill people. Also, if you lock the zombies in a room together they go nuts and eat each other.

In the film we see a couple other decisions from the TV. One is the seductrice who tries to seduce the teenaged main character. Also there is The Garbage Man who is a human who found a way inside the TV and has been spending years hunting The Video Dead in the TV world.

Unfortunately the film itself is an unfinished work. A third of the film was never finished due to the fact that the people financing the film pulled their money two thirds of the way through the production. This caused the filmmaker to have to cut out parts of the film that would have better explained certain things in the plot, like The Garbage Man and The Seductress. Still, the filmmaker managed to shoot the origin scenes, and a usable ending. But thankfully through carful editing they managed to put together a complete film, unlike the film in my next review.

All in all The Video Dead is a unique and well done cult classic low budget horror film.

If you are a zombie fan you will not want to miss these zombies…

Review; Nightmare in Blood (1977)

Review: Nightmare in Blood (1977)

By William Pattison

This time I’m review the first of three independent films that were produced in both San Mateo and San Francisco Counties. For the first I have a homage tand love note to tacky, cheesy horror films with this film which was directed, produced, and written by my horror host mentor, John Stanley…

Attendees at a horror-film convention in San Francisco keep disappearing. It turns out that the guest of honor is a real vampire, and his henchmen are kidnapping the convention guests. A horror writer, a Sherlock Holmes fan and an Israeli Nazi-hunter set out to stop him.

If you are a full on horror host show, cheesy classic and iconic classic horror fan this is your film. It was created with pure love by, journalist, horror host, author, movie reviewer, and all out horror and science fiction geek, John Stanley.

John, was the guy at KTVU in San Francisco and in Sacramento who was always sent on assignment to do stories on attraction and movie premieres. Because of this John was well known by theatre and attraction management, so when he decided to make his movie he had a lot of resources to work with in order to give his movie the feel he wanted on a shoestring budget. Maney of the set pieces of this movies feature places like The Fox theatre in Oakland, Pier 39, Madam Truisough’s Wax Musium, and even the studios of KTVU, most notably The Creature Features set.

A lot of The acting and characterizations in this filmare purposely pure tougue in cheek. This film is by a horror geek for horror geeks, so what do you expect.

This film is most definitely a Bay Area film with that very Bay Area feel.

Amusingly, the opening of this film is a firm example ofguarilla filmmaking, literally. John actual had the good luck of being able to film footage frown the Bay Area premiere of the original Conquest of the Planet of the Apes and caught shots of fans running around wearing ape costumes. It was an incredible bit of luck and helped establish that the film took place at a fan convention.

This film is not at all scary, but it is one that you can sit with a bunch of friends and drink a Coke Zero with popcorn with diet butter, because you have to watch the fat and sugar because you are getting old…lol…and just have a good time watching something made for you, you geek!

 

Review:Beyond the Grave (2023)

Review: Beyond the Grave (2023)

By William Pattison

This time I’m reviewing a paranormal documentary abóut rebranding Death..

Beyond the Grave (2023)

 

An investigative journalist researches the mystery of what happens after death. She interviews several people who have had Near Death Experiences, visits a reputed haunted house, and gets a reading by a Medium.

This is an excellent documentary when it comes to the paranormal and the new theories regarding the body and mind during death. This film is full of excellent interviews with people who have had an afterlife and a haunting experience. Some of these interviews are with people I actually know and trust in the paranormal including researcher and person who died and had an out of body experience Peter Anthony. Peter tells his story of how he was rushed to the emergency with blood issuing from his mouth. He is misdiagnosed as being in the final stages of AIDS and was being left to die when Death came for him. Then the documentary goes to Arizona and the headquarters of Alsor and discusses the technology of cryonics. I found this part interesting because my former associate Shane Molher obsessed with cryonics and was actually a member of Alcor. Unfortunately when he died from diabetes the hospital costs took so much a toll on his finances he was unable to get himself cryptically suspended. Amusingly though his cat, Tuffy, was one of the feline subjects of Alcore. Finally, they also included an interview with my dear friend Andrea Peron, who experiences the events depicted in The Conjuring as well as authored the three books in the House of Darkness, House of Light series, which is the true story. She talks about her eleven years living in a haunted farmhouse.

As I stated earlier this is an excellent documentary if you are interested  in the afterlife without having to go through an entire ghost hunt.

The only thing I disagree with the documentary on is the idea that spirits cannot be dangerous. Being a person who has lived in a haunted house and had several paranormal and out of body experiences I know for a fact spirits can be dangerous and can in fact cause the living both mental and physical harm. I know this from actual experience. Same with life after death. So, from experience I agree and disagree with this documentary. I disagree with some of the critics that the film needs a bit of editing, but that is just my informed opinion.

So, all in all I consider this documentary AWESOMTACULAR!!!!

You can find this on Tubi.

Review: 100 Feet (2009)

Review:100 Feet (2008)

By William Pattison

This time I got my number one favorite Ghost film of the past decade, done by the film genius, and that is my informed opinion, Eric Red…

A young woman, Marnie Watson, is granted early release from her prison sentence for manslaughter (killing her husband - a violent NYC cop - in self defense) on condition she wear an electronic ankle bracelet and remain within her home, effectively under house arrest, for the remainder of her sentence. Her late husband's partner keeps tabs on her from a patrol car parked across the street, hoping she'll violate probation and he can send her back to prison. But the 100-foot radius her ankle bracelet allows isn't the worst of her problems.

Now, to start out with, if you want to be completely blown away you need to track down and buy a copy of the Hollywood Video Exclusive Unrated version of this film because the mere two and a half minute of additional footage elevates this film to genius level. You jaw will literally drop and you will be stunned. It is the definition of brutal perfection. It makes Negan’s murderous introduction in The Walking Dead look cute and cuddly by comparison. I kid you not.

So, this is filmmaker, Eric Red’s violent and claustrophobic masterpiece about a woman, played brilliantly by Fanke Jameson, who is trapped in her brownstone where a year before she freaked out and cut the head off her abusive cop husband. She is trapped because she is tethered to the house by an electronic bracelette around her ankle that only allows her to go one hundred feet in any direction or an alarm goes off and she is only allowed one minute to get back into the one hundred toot zone or the police will come and take her to prison. But she is unaware that she is not alone. The vengeful spirit of her husband is also tethered to the brownstone and is going to use her for his personal punching bag.

Also, added into the mix is her husband’s partner who thinks the wife didn’t kill her husband but is being bullied into silence by the “real” killer. As well is a young delivery man who falls for her … but you have to watch the unrated version to truly appreciate his fate.

Eddie and the Cruisers star Michael Pare plays the spirit of the dead husband, but you would not recognize him with the freaky ghost FX that Eric Red Co seals him underneath. You actually only get to get a clear look at him at the very end of the film.

But, when it comes down to it this is Famke’s film and she is literally put through hell throughout this nightmare of a film.

Years ago I had Eric Red on my Podcast, An Awakening of Horror and we spent over two and a half hours discussing this film. Eric praised it as the best interview of his career.

But, I’m not mentioning the interview just to pat myself on the back, though I deserve it. It is because Eric talked about how he manipulated Fanke to get the incredible performance out of her. He literally made her hate Michael Pare and at the end of the shoot she even ended up punching him in the face to get rid of the anger and stress she was under, though for all I know this might be an amusing fiction on Eric’s part. For me, I can believe it.

But once again I heartily suggest you see the uncut version because you

Literally get to see a human being broken into a bag of mush wíth all the yummysnapping and crushing sounds and closeups of limps and

 ribs breaking…spoilers !!!... Now that is a party!!!

 

Review: Last Shift (2014)

Review:Last Shift (2014)

By William Pattison

This time I got a remake of a 1990 film that started the horror subgenre that inspired The Innkeepers.

A Manson-inspired horror film centering around a transitioning police station. Officer Jessica Loren has been assigned to wait for a Hazmat team to pick up bio-hazardous waste from the station's armory. But unbeknownst to Jessica, cult Leader John Michael Paymon has haunted the department ever since he and two of this followers committed suicide a year ago to date. And now, Jessica is about to find out how dangerous they can be when she's left alone on this Last Shift.

 The Last Shift subgenre of horror started actually with the infamous grind house film, Day of the Woman, aka I Spit on Your Grave  In this film a woman must survive against a gang of psychopaths. In 1990 this idea was taken into the ghost genre of horror with the release of the first of many The Last Shift films, which have a woman having to survive being stuck either haunted business or government office location that has had a bloody past… pretty munch The Shining meets I Spit on Your Grave. So far, from what I can tell there have been six The Last Shift themed horror films that include the remake of the first The Last Shift, which I’m  now reviewing as well as The Innkeepers, which I’ve  already reviewed. All these films either have a revenge subplot or a satanic one. They all have ghosts that torture and either drive the female lead insane and eventually lead them to their death and their souls being trapped in the location.

These films are heavy in jump scares and psychological horror. The ghosts start out as looking human and are usually looking for the person to help or theyprovide the person with their stories. But once the story is told they turn malevolent. In the case of this film, Last Shift, as with the original the filmmakers connected the story to a Manson-like cult that swore vengeance on the main character’s family and it is because the lead character who decided to become a police officer, like her father, that puts her into this paranormal powderkeg. This is much like the main character in The Innkeepers with her obsession with paranormal investigation.

Even though a lot of reviewers try to say the acting of the lead actresses of these films are bad, I have to disagree. It is in the end that the performances of these actresses that support the entire production, not just the freaky ghost makeup. Without these actresses going heavy on emotions and making the audience feel the feelings and stress these films wouldn’t work as well as they do. It takes a special actress to go through the amazing about of stress these roles can put an actress through. It is far less as easy as they make it look. In fact I’ve  heard stories that some of these actresses have had to have therapy after finishing one of these films.

So, with all this said, I have to say that the remake of The Last Shift is REMAKETACULAR!!!

Review: Jacob's Wife (2021)

Review:Jacob’s Wife (2021)

By William Pattison

This time I got a feminist vampire movie staring Barbara Crampton…

 

Anne, married to a small-town Minister, feels her life has been shrinking over the past 30 years. Encountering "The Master" brings her a new sense of power and an appetite to live bolder. However, the change comes with a heavy body count.

Now let me start out by saying this review is an update of the original review I did on the original Horror Bob’s Blog on Overblog five years ago, and five years is not that long amount of time for a movie. Unfortunately, this film is not aging at all well, I was actually nice when I originally reviewed this film all those years ago, but years of social justice and “THE MESSAGE” has made me less then sentimental. All the annoying blemishes in this film are now blazingly clear.

This film, which was basically a feninistist Fright Night ripoff has now become far less entertaining and more like nails on a chalkboard. The supposed humor is not at all funny and the big bad in the film, “The Master” is not at all scary and is just a vehicle to lecture in your face about the slavery of women by men…Seriously people! This film makes the remake of Fright Night look fantastic and preferable…and I HATE the Fright Night remake with a passion. This film makes me feel sorry for Barbara Crampton for having to be associated to this turd. The poor woman had to work overtime to hold this production together.

So, unless you have pink, blue, or green hair and haven’t shaved your legs since 2020 you will not enjoy this film. This film is like a teenager who had nasty skin issues…it is full of unattractive pock marks…

So, here is a question…How do you end an update review of an in your face feminist vampire film?  You get in your face…

So it is now time for me to get in YOUR faces. I stopped giving sugar coated reviews years ago after dealing with the crap The Soskas were putting out and reading other review sites saying “This is one of the best films to come out in the last five years. It is not a perfect film but still it is genius…” GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK!!! It’s  like calling a turd in a punch bowl a Baby Ruth!!! If it is a turd it is a turd. A genius film by calling it such means it is a perfect film. To call an imperfect film genius is to show that you are a complete fucking idiot.A genius film is a film that is perfect and cannot be improved because it is perfect Already. Point made. In your face rant over. Remember that Rue Morgue and Dread Central… Stop shooting yourselves in the foot. You people are getting paid by the fans…I’m  not.

Review: The Laughing Mask (2014)

Review: The Laughing Mask (2014)

By William Pattison

This time I’ve got a film with a bad guy who deserved a better movie…

A grisly murder perpetrated by a deranged killer, Jake Johnson's wife and daughter were murdered by a Psychotic vigilante only known as The Laughing Mask. As the police look for clues and the body count begins to rise, Johnson will play a dangerous game in order to avenge his family' death.

As I said above The Laughing Mask killer definitely deserved a better movie then he got. I really liked this killer, he had potential, That mask alone is iconic. unfortunately he got stuck in this film, even though it bares his name. The problem with this film is the low budget production value and a cast full of uneven and bad performances.  Laughing Mask is too good a character. I really liked the style of the character. But he is stuck in this movie and it is a waste of a good slasher. Oh, well…

So if you want to see a slasher that needs a far better sequel, this is the film you should check out.

You can find this film on Tubi TV and Fawsome…

Review: Mirrormask (2006)

Review: Mirrormask (2006)

By William Pattison

This time I got a dark fantasy that was written by Neal Gaiman, the writer of Sandman….

Helena, a 15-year-old girl in a family of circus entertainers, often wishes she could run off and join real life. After a fight with her parents about her future plans, her mother falls quite ill and Helena is convinced that it is all her fault. On the eve of her mother's major surgery, she dreams that she is in a strange world with two opposing queens, bizarre creatures, and masked inhabitants. All is not well in this new world - the white queen has fallen ill and can only be restored by the MirrorMask, and it's up to Helena to find it. But as her adventures continue, she begins to wonder whether she's in a dream, or something far more sinister.

So, what do you get when you team the Henson company with Neal Gaiman? You get an overflow of unique creativity. This fantasy film is on another level when compared to other films in this genre. This film is actually unique when it comes to the work of Henson because it doesn’t rely on puppetry. I stead this film uses multiple styles of animation to create this world and its creatures. As well the music track for this film is extremely chaotic and experimental. It actually makes the music itself a character in this story.

Neal Giaman explores the concepts of duality as well as identity in that uniquely Giaman way and in that way makes this one of his more intriguing projects. This is one of Giaman’s works that doesn’t seem to get enough love. Mainly because this film is an insane mix of style, twisted creativity, with a strong dose of intellectuality that can be easily missed in all buy multilayered visuals. Still, this is a film you could watch a hundred times and still not catch everything. This one is truly one of Giaman’s best works.

This is a film that is a must see…

 

Review: Meridian, Aka Meridian: Kiss of the Beast (1990)

Review: Meridian, aka Meridian: Kiss of the Beast (1990)

By William Pattison

This time I’m reviewing Charles Band’s Beauty and Beast tale that was one of the opening Full .Moon Films.

An American heiress returns to her ancestral Italian castle where a traveling carnival brings performers who hide ancient evil beneath their smiles. Shadows pool in gothic arches as two women drink wine that burns with betrayal, their bodies becoming contested ground between a magician's hunger and a beast's cursed existence. The castle breathes with memory; portraits watch. Catherine moves through corridors where past and present bleed together, her inheritance proving more than stone and title. She must choose between breaking centuries of punishment or preserving her own survival.

 This was the second release from Charles Band’s newly formed Full Moon Pictures, after the popular Puppet Master. This was the only attempt to do a hard core fantasy film by Full Moon. It is also one of the better of the early Full Moon films with its dark fantasy, psycho sexual style

This film features the iconic Italian Park of Monsters, which was also featured in the classic Christopher Lee horror film Castle of the Living Dead. In many ways this film is a sequel to the Lee classic.

Sherilyn Fen plays Catherine, the kove interest of Oliver, aka The Beast. This film features an intense sex scene between Catherine and The Beast as well as a rape scene with Charlie Sprdling, who plays Catherine*s friend and will be the future Full Moon spokes girl.

Also, the beast costume was so well constructed that years later Francis Ford  Coppella reused it with a few minor alterations in Bram Stocker’s Dracula.

The only unfortunate thing about this film is the ending is so predictable and fast that it is so unsatisfying given the rest of the film. Also, unfortunate is that Full Moon bever did another dark fantasy film. The only film even close to this film is castle Freak and it is not even close to the style of this film.

So, if you want to see a rare attempt by Charles Band to do dark fantacy this is your film.

Review: Frankenstein Island (1981)

Review; Frankenstein Island (1981)

By William Pattison

This time I got a 1981 Frankenstein film that stars John Carradine

Frankenstein Island (1981)

When a hot air balloon crashes on a remote island, the crew discovers Dr. Frankenstein's descendant, Dr. Sheila Frankenstein, carrying on the family work, along with a race of mutants and a population of Amazon warriors. Somehow, the Frankenstein Monster is also thrown into the mix.

If there was ever a film that entiplifies the word absurd this is the film. The fact that this film was made and came out in the era that brought us Star Wars and ET shows just how insane this film is because this film is literally a film that is out of time. It is a film that should have come out on the late 60s, not 1981. The production values, music, storyline, andacting look at least 15 years out of date .

One time horror icons John Carradine and Cameron Michelle had to have been royally in need of money to have accepted the roles they ended up with. John Carradine plays Doctor Frankenstein, who is now a cult leader who has died and cames back as a projectíon who spouts monologues. Cameron Mitchelle plays a crazy man who spouts quotes from Edgar Allen Poe and morns his dead Lenore and stalks one of the tribal women that supposedly looks like her

Oh, and Frankenstein’s monster shows up atOne point for no good reason, but it is the best part of the movie bevause the gentleman who was playing the monster did a picture perfect performance of the classic James Whales Frankenstein monster. Boris Karloff what be proud. Unfortunately, the rest of the film is just plain weird and badly acted and produced. This film is FRANKENFREAKY and you will need a ton of pot and acid to make sense of this funky throwback to the time when hippies ruled the world…in no ways an 80s film…

 

Revíew: The Last Frankenstein (2021)

Review: The Last Frankenstein (2021)

By William Pattison

This time I’m reviewing an independent low budget Frankenstien film I’ve never heard about, which is rare…Oh boy!

Buried in a dormant life and a dead end relationship, Dr. Jason Frankenstein, the last of his family, finds himself frustratingly approaching the middle of his life with little progress to show towards carrying forward his family's experiment. But after a creature from his past brutally re-enters his life, he is catalyzed to finally complete his work. With the help of a pair of drug dealing paramedics and a nurse with a shady past, he sets down the blood-soaked path to create a living being from the bodies of the dead.

Now just to let you know I’m a Frankenstein fanatic. I love Frankenstein films. I love a serious Frankenstein film. I love tacky, freaky Frankenstein films. I’ve  never found a Frankenstein film that didn’t entertain me, until today…

This film is a boring, slow paced, mess with no talent, except for the poor camera man who did an excellent job shooting this turd. The acting is wooden. The main character and the guy playing him is a hopeless loser. Seriously, this guy played the part with no heart at all. He was just speaking lines. He is supposed to be married but there was nothing there. And, when it came down to it it was the same with even the guys playing the creatures in the film, though the last one did a little better, which isn’t saying much.

And, speaking about the creatures, they were all guys wearing cheap masks. There was no real attempt at making a creature worthy of the name Frankenstein.

To put it simply this film was a horrible waste of time and a blatant insult to the title of Frankenstein. This film is royally FRANKENSHIT!!! Avoid like the plague..