Primative War (2025)

Review: Primitive War (2025)

By William Pattison

This time we got soldiers Vs dinosaurs with Primative War.

Vietnam. 1968. A recon unit known as Vulture Squad is sent to an isolated jungle valley to uncover the fate of a missing Green Beret platoon. They soon discover they are not alone. The jungle has a dinosaur problem. And now it’s Vultures versus dinosaurs to the death…

For the last fifteen years there have been rumors of a Seagent Rock film dealing with solders fighting dinosaurs in WW2. This film is everything we wanted in that film with just a change of era. This is a fun and brutal film. You have missing limbs and gallons of blood. It is actually more than I expected from the Seagent Rock film. This film uses the dinos as the horrifying monsters the need to be. The CGI is good and these dinos don’t  just lunber around, the destroy. This film is that batch of super nachos lovingly drowned in cheese. The cheese is fun but it doesn’t  get in the way of the action or the gory fun.

This is the film for the movie fan that loves their war film as well as dinosaur films. It’s  a feast for their eyes and even those how are not full on fans will still be entertained. I highly recommend this film and say that in my eyes it is AWESOMETACULAR!!!

 

Shock Waves (1977)

Review: Shock Waves (1977)

By William Pattison

 

This classic horror movie concerns a shipwrecked yachting party. Rose and her fellow yacht-mates, including the captain run aground on an island when they hit an odd-looking freighter. Once beached, they discover an aging SS Commander who had been in charge of a squad of  Nazi zombies.

Now these castaways must find a way to escape of die at the hands of the Nazi super soldiers.

I have wanted to see this film since I heard about it in the 80s and saw that fantastic poster with the Nazi super soldiers wearing those goggles.

Amusingly, this film really doesn’t feel dated even with the 70s fashions. I also thought the Nazi super soldiers were the most original zombie-like threats, with their fairly normal faces and the white hair. The goggles added a bit of creepiness to their appearance. The only thing I found stupid was that if you rip the goggles off the zombie sokdiers faces they die. Having John Carradine as the boat captain and Peter Cushing as the former SS commander made this film really feel like old home week to me. I really loved this film it was a treat. Unfortunately the gore hounds will be royally disappointed this is a royally bloodless film. You get to see a couple of drowned bodies, but that is as far as it goes. Though this film has a PG rating, in modern terms this film is a firm G rating. Still, if you can get past the rating and lack of red stuff you will be in for a very interesting installment in this genre… So I’m  still recommending it…too bad…

 

Review: Death's Sonata (2024)

Review: Death's Sonata (2024)

By William Pattison

This time we got a royally rough slasher film....

Dr. William Fredrickson has been practicing psychotherapy for nearly thirty years. His patients have ranged from pill popping suburban housewives to death row inmates, but there was only one that left a truly lasting impression. Charles has suffered from schizophrenia his entire life. The older he gets the deeper he falls into psychosis. After years of failed therapy and treatment he retreats to his family's old hunting cabin where he spends his days hiding from the voices in his head, trying to ignore the call to action from DEATH, the Grim Reaper himself, who forces him to carry out his work with the threat of Death taking him instead. As the murder rate rises, Dr. Fredrickson suspects his former patient, who left his treatment years ago. Desperate to find Charles, Fredrickson enlists the help of a young patient, Matthew Wilson, who suffers from extreme manic depression. Matthew sets off to find Charles and while following the clues given to him, finds himself in the middle of a police manhunt.

This is not a great slasher film. It is low budget with so so acting and it really shows it’s lack of budget at times. Still, this film is not a loss. It is brutal and nasty. The plot is semi interesting and if you can get past the rough edges and really like hard edge slasher films this might be the film for you. For me I like good story and character work and this film lacks that. But if you like something that is more like a snuff film, here you go. Personally I needed to clean myself after watching this film…

Review: Witchboard (2025)

Review: Witchboard 

(2024)

By William Pattison

 

Director Chuck Russell (Nightmare on Elm Street 3, The Blob) marks his return to the horror genre with WITCHBOARD. Emily  and her fiancé Christian discover an ancient Wiccan artifact, a pendulum board, as they prepare to open a bistro in New Orleans' French Quarter. Emily becomes obsessed with the board's power of divination and spirit summoning, exposing her to the ancient spirit of the Queen of Witches. Desperate to help his fiancé, Christian seeks the advice of occult expert Alexander Babtiste . But Babtiste has secrets of his own, including his connection to a modern-day coven of witches. A masked ball, murder and mayhem ensue... With each swing of the pendulum, a dangerous game is played with Emily's soul at stake.

This film is more a sequel than a reimagining, even with the original director producing it. The fact that the main evil is the Witch Queen instead of Malfador speaks volumes in this direction. Also the use of the pendulum board over the Ouija board, aka Witchboard. I have to say that this film is a far better produced film than the original, but I find the simplicity of the original as well as Kevin Tenney’s style more to my liking. Not over explaining the evil and not making everything connected made the original more believable to me. The main characters were Innocents that got dragged into the situation. Yes, this version had a far better last act, but the ending of the original was pure low budget 80s gold. I wouldn’t change it. To me the original Witchboard is a horror classic like Night of the Living Dead. It is their flaws that make them special and memorable. And, even though Chuck and Kevin more than likely believe this Witchboard is Witchboard perfected I won’t  remember this new film next week. It’s just another possession movie in a flood of possession movies. I’m not saying I won’t  recommend it. If you are looking for a fun horror movie, this film will do the job. You’ll  be happy with it. It’s  just not something I’d add to my horror collection, just like Witchboard 2. There is only one Witchboard and I really don’t  want another. If I want to watch another Kevin Tenney film I’ll  pull out Witchtrap, which isn’t  a Witchboard sequel or reimagining…

The Thursday Murder Club (2025)

The Thursday Murder Club (2025)

By William Pattison

This time I have the pleasure of reviewing a film directed by the iconic director of Gremlins, Christopher Columbus.

The Thursday Murder  Club tells the story of four irrepressible retirees spend their time solving cold case murders for fun. But their casual sleuthing takes a thrilling turn when one of the owners of their retirement community is brutally murdered and they find themselves with a real whodunit on their hands. Now they must help the police solve the murder because the future of their retirement home is at stake.

Though this film is a 2025 film, it has a very 80s feel to it. In fact it reminds me of the classic 80s film where old retired people are the heroes of the story, Cocoon. The actors in this film are fantastic, but give me a break, Chris Columbus has Helen Mirren, Pierce Brosden, Ben Kingsley, Johnathan Pryce, Tom Ellis, and David Tennent in the cast. This film is wonderfully written and produced and it is a film that is character driven and firmly holds your interest, unlike a most of modern films. Unfortunately, this is a Netflix exclusive rather than a theatrical release.

This film is the long awaited Chris Columbus film I’ve  been waiting for. I highly recommend it, it’s  awesometacular.

 

Dracula: A Love Tale (2025)

Dracula: A Love Tale (2025)

By William Pattiso

 

After his wife dies, a 15th century prince, Vlad The Second, renounces God and becomes a vampire. Centuries later in 19th century France, he sees a woman resembling his late wife and pursues her, sealing his own fate.

The filmmaker of this film had to be obsessed with Coppella’s Dracula. There are way too many member berries in this film related to that film. Even naming Vlad’s true love Elizabetha screams Coppella and how old Dracula looked like. This would have been an excellent soft remake if it wasn’t for one incredible annoying thing…the fucking CGI gargolyals. Give me a fucking break! This is not a Disney “live action” affair. Not is this a kiddie movie. These living gargolyals royally took me out of the film, like the praying mantis monster in Dario Argento’s Dracula.

The move from England to France for the major part of the story didn’t really make a difference, so why do it? Changing Van Helsing to the French priest didn’t  make a difference, so why do it? There was a lot of questionable decisions and all the right ones made this film a homage rather than a fully original take on the classic story. Still, it is entertaining and if you love Coppella’s vision you will find this entertaining…

 

House of the Witch (2017)

Review: House of the Witch (2017)

By William Pattison

 

A group of high-school kids set out to play a Halloween prank at an abandoned house, but once they enter they become victims of a demonic witch who has set her wrath upon them.

This film was a royal borefest for me. It was extremely predictable and wasn’t at all scary. Even the jump scares, or what was supposed to be jump scares didn’t impress me. Worst of all I exactly predicted the ending of the film. Sorry, but if you want to be bored out of your mind then watch this film, I bet you start dosing off half way through it. I started checking Facebook because this film couldn’t keep my interest. I don’t recommend this film. Avoid like the plague…