Review: Hellbenders 3D (2012)

Hellbenders 3D (2012)

By William Pattison

 

The Augustine Interfaith Order of Hellbound Saints, a team of blasphemous ministers who live in a constant state of debauchery, work to drag the worst of demons back to Hell.

As a real fan of anti-heroes, especially the paranormal type, given that I’m the author of the Devlin Darck Demon Fíghter tales, I was really loving this film. Sinning priests who are sent to possessions to go nuclear and drag demons to Hell is a brilliant concept. It reminds me of the Clive Barker story Saint Sinner. Love this stuff! It gets so tongue in cheek which is so much fun, as long as you don’t  have a royal stick up your backside when it comes to religion. Catholics and Mormon, when it comes down to it can be enormous sources of humor. It is why Book of Mormon is such a stellar hit on Broadway. This is a nasty, gory, and irreverent film in the extreme and I have to say it is AWESOMETACULAR!!!

Ou can find this film on Tubi TV.

Review: Necromentia (2009)

Review: Necromentia (2009)

By William Pattison

 

What do you get when you desire Hellraiser and it’s not available and neither is Event Horizon?  When much like the person who wants nachos but ends up with pancakes and guac. Here is the movie you’ve been waiting for…

An off-world look at the superstitious repercussions of tattooing a Ouija Board on your body. Hagen, who has a dead wife, believes that he can revive her from the dead. Travis, a man who lost his brother and wants to join him in the afterlife. Morbius, a bartender who is betrayed by those he loves comes back from the dead to take revenge. And a strange man, known only as Mr. Skinny, protects the secrets of the Ouija Board and how the stories weave and affect each other.

Amusingly enough this film is far better than any of the latter Hellraiser sequels, meaning after Hellraiser: Hellseeker. This film actually has the feel of one of the issues of the original Hellraiser comic book. It is a story about Hell without the Hellpriest nor any of the original. I loved the design of the demons, especially Mr Skinney and the chained to demon. All the characters are well done for this kind of story, none are innocent and all are sadomasochistic manipulators. The atmosphere is shadowy, industrial, and very dystopian. The story expertly meshes all three of the storylines together. All in all if you are a Hellraiser fan you will love this film. I was royally pleased. In fact I enjoyed this film far more than the last three Hellraiser films. Enjoy the pain and blood…

You can find this film on both Tubi TV and Fawesome…

L

Review: Project MKHEXE (2025)

Review: Project MKHEXE (2025)

By William Pattison

 

This time I have a mockumentary horror film…

Tim, an amateur filmmaker, returns home to film his brother Sean's funeral after his apparent suicide. But in the days that follow, Tim discovers Sean's obsession with an Internet urban legend that does not exist about a secret government mind control experiment gone horrifically wrong, Project MKHEXE.

I’m not a huge government conspiracy fan but this mockumentary has a very Lovecraftian aspect.

I found that I admired how much love and care the filmmaker used in creating the lore around the MKHEXE project. The film is literal art piece when it came to the detail of the brother’s research into this supposed Internet urban legend that doesn’t  exist and those who seek it end up having horrifying and tragic ends. I loved how in the film MKHEXE affects the people around those who seek it. The film is well shot and acted. There are no under or overdone performances which makes this film that much more disturbing and helps draw you into the huge complicated puzzle. Don’t  expect any real scares or a monster at the end. This is not that type of found footage. You get the truth about MKHEXE, but like the works of Lovcraft the creators know they can’t really do the other world terror justice so you get a lot of strobing and random images, which works well. The truth is the thing you don’t see is more disturbing than anything a filmmaker can produce. If you are into found footage films you just might enjoy this film. This is definitely not for the uninitiated. But if you love government conspiracy and Lovecraftian terror this is your film and I will happily recommend it.

You can find this film on Tubi TV and Fawesome…

 

Review: Hell House LLC (2025)

Review: Hell House LLC: Lineage (2025)

By William Pattison

 

This time I’m reviewing the lastest installment of the Hell House LLC franchise.

Haunted by visions and recurring nightmares years after a near-death experience, Vanessa Shepherd finds herself living in the town of Abaddon, unable to break free from its unexplainable hold on her. When people around her suddenly and inexplicably begin to die, she soon uncovers her terrifying connection to the Abaddon Hotel, the Carmichael Manor and the mysterious murders that have been occurring for decades.

I have to say that though I’ve seen all the films in this series I can’t really call myself a fan. I was entertained by the majority of them, but they really weren’t anything I went out of my way to see. I do have to acknowledge that this series is one of two found footage series that have evolved into a full franchise. The other being Paranormal Activity. Yet, I have to say I was especially unimpressed by this installment. In an odd change from it’s other installments this film is not found footage. On top of that this film is not even a full story. It was promoted as the finale of the series yet it ended on a cliff hanger and a lead up to an actual final installment. As well, this film feels like only half a story. To make it worse this film lacks the scares and writing of its sister films. In fact it feels more like an information dump than a full installment. Sadly, I cannot recommend this film, but unfortunately if you plan to see the final installment whenever it comes out you are going to have to slog through this film to keep up with the details of the puzzle. I feel sorry for you…

Review: Queens of the Dead (2025)

Review: Queens of the Dead (2025)

By William Pattison

 

Drag queens and other members of the LGBQ battle zombies craving brains during a zombie outbreak at their drag show in Brooklyn, putting personal conflicts aside to utilize their distinct abilities against the undead threat.

There have been a lot of variations of zombie films over the years including punks rockers, prostitutes, and strippers. Now, finally, we get a zombie film featuring drag queens. Perfect team up for a horror comedy. I loved the characters in this film, but I thought the story was ok.

There was definitely not enough drag queens. I saw only three and one was a zombie.

 Also I hated the zombie makeup because for some reason the filmmakers decided to paint all the zombies with silver paint, that was it just silver paint.

 I did like that they injected incidental music that reminded me of Day of the Dead. They also had a cameo of Tom Savini.

But in the end I have to say that this film fails to be a good zombie film. Shoot, the zombies were hardly in it, but thank goodness because silver skinned zombies just don’t work.

So, I cannot recommend this film because I really wanted a funny drag queen and zombie film, but this isn’t it. Sorry…

 

Review: Videotheque aka Videoteka (2024)

Review: Videotheque aka Videoteka (2024)

By William Pattison

 

This time I’ve got a Serbian anthology film…

Fleeing the police, a small-time thief hides in an abandoned video store. Stuck for the night he decides to play three strange films.

I have to say that I really enjoyed the wrap around story, which is about a thief who ends up stuck in this royally creepy abandoned video store. The video store actually reminded me of a real cringe video store I used to frequent in the 80s, though a bit dusty and dirtier.

(Warning: Spoiler Alert)

The three stories are really well done, though I have to say the first story Dangar is a bit anticlimactic to me. It tells the story of a tribal man who is saved from drowning in the ice by an old man. The old man has a blind daughter. The tribal man ends up killing the old man and burning the daughter as a sacrifice to his gods. You don’t  really get any reasons for this. The second story is a very Twilight Zone style story about a young man who works at a sandwich shop and has a beautiful girlfriend. One day he meets a man who drives a BMW. The guy introduces him to his boss who is a rich man. The old man somewhat jokingly offers to switch with the young man because the young man wants to have the good life. So, the young man ends up waking up in the old man’s body.

The third story is about a cop who has a slight obsession with an underaged girl and is married to a pregnant wife. The cop is in the middle of a situation where a suspected serial killer has escaped jail and is on the loose The girl is related to the murdered guard and the viewer is lead to expect that the suspect isn’t  the killer but the cop.

All the stories are well produced and shot. The only unfortunately thing is these stories are all in Serbian with subtitles, so I ended up getting a headache having to try reading the dialogue while watching. Also, this film is a lot like our VHS anthology series, but with better written stories and a lot less gore. I will definitely recommend this film, if you can find it since it is a Serbian film. I will only suggest you keep some aspirins on hand for the headache from the subtitles you will get.

 

Review: Extremity (2018)

Review: Extremity (2018)

By William Pattison

This time I got a film about an extremely haunt…

Allison, a young woman with a severely troubled past who signs up for an extreme haunt called Perdition. She believes that putting herself through Perdition's nightmarish trials will help her exorcise her internal traumas, but has no way of knowing just how shocking her ordeal will be-or what dark secrets buried in her psyche will emerge.

I had expected to really enjoy this film, after all I’ve seen films like The Houses October Built and a couple of other films about extreme haunts.

Unfortunately, this film royally disappointed me. It amusingly lacked the extreme haunted house feel of the other films and it seemed the creator mistakened extreme extreme haunts for S&M and torture which is not the same. Also, they ruined the members of the supposed haunt and exposed who they are, including the head man of the haunt. Not only does he pull off his mask, we end up finding out he is a family man and his haunt is failing. I royally hated this. The other haunt films left the cast members of the haunts unknown and left them scary. This film made the cast a bunch of losers and the head man the biggest loser. No, no, no, fail. Then they do the ridiculous thing of having Mr Loser haunt guy somehow find the main character’s abusive and molesting father and have him confront her. After that bullshit, which came after all the earlier stuff. I just shook my head. Give me a break. This film. Was a complete mess. It started out ok and then after the first act it tanked and kept tanking. I would have happily accepted the ending of it wasn’t  for way they handled two thirds of this film.

This is definitely a non- recommendation. If you want a good extreme haunt film check out The Houses that October Built, it is the best of this subgenre.